Beyond Obsession
by pukka-pears
Summary: COMPLETE.HG/SB. Hermione faced a terrible ordeal, on top of that she has to come to terms with some rather odd feelings... Chapter 48 is up, it is actually chp 1 of the sequel to this fic, yup, I finally decided to do a sequel :D
1. chapter 1

Chapter one-

"_Imagination is more important then knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world"- Albert Einstein_

**DISCLAIMER:** everything other than the plot belongs to J.K. Rowling and whoever she chooses to sell it to (this disclaimer applies to all material within all chapters of this story)

Hermione Granger lay on her comfortable bed in her small but perfectly acceptable bedroom. Clutched in her hand was a most interesting article, neatly trimmed from the _Daily Prophet_. She had read the article several times, and yet she looked over it with the avid curiosity of someone reading it for the first time. It was entitled: "Dumbledore Takes Umbrage with Umbridge!" It was all about the events of the past school year. Dumbledore had sent a petition to the ministry, demanding them to declare any "educational decrees" instigated by Dolores Umbridge or in the previous year void. The ministry had of course obliged. Dumbledore had also managed to have all of Umbridge's decrees on the employment and treatment of supposedly "dangerous half-breeds" repealed. The article included some of these decrees, and they really were quite simply ridiculous! Harry had sent the cutting to her, with it, he had enclosed a letter, not only telling her that he was having a great time at Grimauld place and that he hoped to see her soon, but also that Remus would be taking up his old post of "Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher". Hermione had replied with a note of congratulations and a short letter describing her holiday so far (there wasn't really much to describe)

She set the article down and began to think of the holiday that stretched before her, six glorious weeks.... Soon she would be going to Grimauld Place to join the boys. She knew that she was at a great risk here; Voldermort's return was now public, so his deatheaters would no longer have to operate in secret. With her being Harry's best friend _and _a Muggle born, she would be a target to good to resist for the death eaters. She understood this, but had wanted to spend a few days with her parents before she went to the head quarters, it would probably be another year before she could see them again.

She looked up at her clock, and saw that it was 3 minutes past midnight, she smiled to herself, the witching hour, she thought fondly. Ironic that when she had been younger, she often refused to go to sleep between midnight and one o'clock, she had read that it was the "witching hour" and that if you fell asleep during it, the evil witches could take your soul.

She stifled a yawn, and decided to head downstairs and say goodnight to her parents. Halfway across the landing she heard a strange noise, it sounded slightly like a whisper. She scalded herself inwardly, despite the fact she was a witch, and a jolly good one at that, thinking about old witch stories still put her on edge. She shook her head and smiled at her self, still, she clutched her wand a little tighter in her dressing gown pocket, doublely glad she never went any where without it. She was about to start back across the landing again, when she heard a much more definite sound, she knew at once it wasn't her imagination.

It was a poorly muffled yell, followed by a loud thud, which there was no attempt to muffle. Hermione was panicking; she didn't know what to do. Defend her parents, run and hide, contact Dumbledore, or ring the police. She didn't even know who was attacking them, wizard or muggles? She didn't even know that they _were _being attacked, she hoped miserably with little conviction that it could be coming from the television-her parents rarely watched it, but still...

Her questions were answered when she heard a drawling voice cry "Avarda Kedavra". She heard a body collapse and she felt her world do the same. She didn't even register the second shout, or the dull thud that followed. She wasn't aware of moving, but she must've done because she found herself leaning against the locked bathroom door. She knew it was useless, there was nowhere for her to go, she couldn't apparate, and she was trapped, soon they would find her and unlock the door easily. She was as good as lost. She had her wand, but what use was that against a fully trained wizard who was obviously willing to use the unforgivables?

"Alohamora" the same drawling voice that had brought death to her parents whispered, and the bolt slid across, leaving the door open, exposing the terrified 15 year old girl cowering behind it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"_If you're writing about evil you genuinely have a responsibility to show what that means."- J.K Rowling_

"Stupefy" The cold voice had said. She had seen his face in the brief instant that he peered round the door, before stunning her. She had recognised him. He was Lucius Malfoy; she had met him before, and knew without a doubt that he was a death eater. Fortunately the stunning spell carried her quickly in to the blessed abyss of unconsciousness quickly, and she did not have time to really register just how dire her situation was.

Now however the gravity of it all came crashing down upon her, as she recalled the events of the previous...what? She had no idea how long she'd been gone. At least now she had an idea of not so much _where _she was, but at least _what_ she was in. It had been most frightening to wake up dazed and confused, and to suddenly realise that the floor under you was vibrating. With a few surreptitious glances Hermione had realised that she was travelling in a carriage, and even more frightening was the realisation that she was not alone.

Hermione had been woken by the sound of crass male voices. Only after a few moments did she realise this, luckily she realised before the men (who she assumed were all death eaters) realised. Even in times like this Hermione somehow managed to keep control of her senses, and she knew it made sense to feign sleep. She did so, and listened to the conversation around her, thinking any information she gleamed could be useful to the order when she got back. She refused to think that there was a chance she wouldn't get back, nor did she allow herself to think about her parents, that would only distract her, and lower her chances of survival and sanity even less. As she listened, she realised that they weren't talking about anything related to Voldermort, Malfoy was boasting (as usual) only he was boasting about his son, Draco.

"...ah, yes exceptionally bright lad, takes after me! Just taken his O.W.L's, wont be surprised if he's top of the country , yes, he's joint top of Hogwart's, with this little Mudblood, but after we've finished with her I dare say he'll have no competition!"

The death eaters laughed, and Hermione let out a small gasp. Not only was what Malfoy had implied shocking, but it was also lies! She had finished well above Draco in every single subject they shared! Thankfully they did not hear her over their laughter, and Lucius continued;

"yes, and of course he's brilliant on the quidditch pitch, he's beaten that little bastard Potter more times than I can remember, and some idiots still think he's good! Humph!" Lucius snorted, so did Hermione. This time, the death eaters heard

"Sleeping beauty's awake!" sneered the slimy voice of Lucius Malfoy,

"Oh, great work with the stunning spell Lucius, it lasted all of three hours" said another voice, that Hermione half recognised.

"It's more fun this way anyhow" replied a third calmer voice, that Hermione was almost certain she had never heard before.

Hermione tried futilely to feign sleep; the Death eaters were not that easily fooled.

"Girl" the unfamiliar voice demanded, "Are you Hermione Granger?" Hermione nodded slowly.

"Thank God you got the right girl this time McNair!" Said Lucius,

"Shut up you idiot, stop telling her who we are! And besides, I don't remember you complaining when it was your turn with the last one!" Hermione's mind was reeling; she had now identified the second, slightly familiar voice as that of McNair, the man who had been sent to kill Buckbeak. And from the way they were talking, she could only imagine what they were planning on doing to her. She was petrified.

"Shut up you two!" Exclaimed the third voice, "We have more err......pressing matters to attend to" stressing the word "pressing" in a tone that Hermione certainly didn't like, as his gaze travelled over her, lingering for way too long on her chest. Panic swept over her, she was alone in a carriage with three deatheaters who only had one thing on their mind, and she was totally defenceless! Or wait-:

'My wand' she thought, she tried to move her hand discreetly to her dressing gown pocket, she failed to notice that the third Death eater was watching her intensely,

"Looking for this?" he mocked in a falsely sweet tone, as he twirled her wand between his fingers. 'Shit!' she thought. Her emotions must've shown on her face, as the Death eater began to chuckle maliciously, and said "cheer up, you never know, you may even enjoy this!" The other two began to laugh as well. Malfoy suddenly leaned forward and undid the belt of her dressing gown, he moved closer still, and made as if to slide the dressing gown off her shoulders;

"Fuck off Malfoy!" she yelled, trying to wriggle away from him. She failed. In the briefest of seconds, he had her throat in a vice like grip with one hand; the other was quickly dragging her up by her hair, until she was standing on her own magically-bound feet.

"My my Granger, you'll have to learn to keep a civil tongue in your head" He pressed closer still.

"Fuck off!" Hermione repeated with a lot more courage then she actually possessed. Malfoy slapped her face.

"The first thing I teach you will be manners Granger!" he snarled. He quickly removed the open dressing gown, leaving her standing in front of him in an old, tatty, nighty. It said "Rebel Ted" on it above a large picture of a teddy and served to reinforce just how childlike she was. This didn't matter to the Deatheaters, they had their orders to break her, and they would always obey their orders, by whatever means necessary.

He removed her nighty, leaving her standing before three men in just her white cotton knickers; she had never been so humiliated and embarrassed. The binds on her hands prevented her from protecting her modesty. Yet somehow she still managed to hold Lucius' gaze and hold her head defiantly high.

"Rather attractive, it's amazing what you can hide behind a book. I'm nearly impressed Granger" Malfoy jeered. The others laughed and murmured their agreement. "So Granger, are you a virgin?" He asked, as if he was enquiring about the weather. Hermione was too stunned and terrified to answer. "I asked you a question Mudblood!" He yelled and slapped her again across her face. She nodded and whispered a barely audible "Yes". "Oh good, I enjoy virgins so much more, and I suspect that the fact that it's me who takes yours' will cause you more pain then the act itself, which I promise Granger will be agony" He laughed. Hermione paled visibly, this caused Lucius to laugh even more. "Lazoarriba" (to "bind above" in Spanish). He cried, pointing his wand at her wrists. Suddenly that bonds which had held her hands in place vanished. She only felt a slight sense of relief, because before she could even blink, her hands were bound even more tightly above her head. Some how they were attached to the carriage wall behind her. Hermione was forced to stand on tiptoes to feel even the slightest relief from the tight bonds. That pain was soon to be replaced by another. Lucius Malfoy slowly removed his robe and began to unbutton the black trousers he wore beneath it. He then removed Hermione's knickers with a flick of his wand. Pain was all Hermione felt, as roughly and brutally Lucius Malfoy took her innocence.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"_Access to power must be confined to those who are not in love with it." - Plato_

When Hermione woke again, she was confused and disorientated. Before she opened her eyes the full events of last night came crashing down upon her. She had been raped. Lucius Malfoy had raped her first, she vaguely remembered passing out at one point, only to be slapped back to consciousness by Lucius. After what seemed like hours of indescribable agony, it appeared Lucius had satisfied his lust, the death eater who had been identified as McNair moved forward to take his turn. He was, if possible, even more brutal then Malfoy, he kissed her harshly, biting her lips and neck, causing purple bruises on her breasts as he fondled her with clumsy hands. He also seemed to take even longer than Malfoy, although she didn't know exactly how long it lasted. When he had finished with her, he slapped her and called her foul names. Just as the third death eater had begun to move towards her, the carriage slammed to a sudden halt.

"Shit" Stun her, we're here" Lucius' voice had yelled. Hermione, for the second time that night had seen masses of red light. And now, here she was.

Hermione opened her eyes very slowly, looking around her as discretely as she could. She realised she was in a cell, three grimy stone walls surrounded her, one wall comprised of fifteen steel bars, which had rusted terrible. Beyond the bars she could see a dark unlit corridor, she could not see where it lead. The room was dimly lit, but by the light that there was she could make out that she was alone. Realising this, she thought it safe to sit up. As she tried, she felt ropes pulling against her hands and feet, she had been bound to the rusty iron bedstead on which she lay. Scared and alone, she lost her cool and became to scream as loud as she could, her screams echoed through the stone caverns, and within minutes she was surrounded by at least ten masked death eaters.

"Ahhh, Miss Granger" called Malfoy, "How _nice_ of you to join us"

Hermione said nothing.

"How are you feeling? In agony I hope?" he inquired without a hint of concern. "Our master wishes to speak with you Mudblood" he half yelled, his face inches from hers. She blinked at him, and turned away. Lucius grabbed her face and turned it towards him.

"I suggest you show him more respect then this" he whispered, before slapping her. "Prepare her" he ordered, turning to the rest of the death eaters "I must go and meet Severus" he said, before exiting the room.

'_Severus_' thought Hermione '_could that be Snape? Oh God I hope so! He can tell Dumbledore where I am and what's going on._' She was lost in thoughts of escape and rescue.

She was suddenly dragged back to her senses when she felt a pair of fumbling hands pull on a robe, magically manoeuvring it around the bonds that pinioned her to the bed. It was at that point she realised she had been dressed only in her underwear (Lucius must've replaced them after stunning her). This was when the true humiliation of her predicament really hit her.

She felt like breaking down in tears but she knew she _mustn_'t, she _mus_t appear strong. She knew from stories she'd heard from old order members that Voldermort would find her weaknesses and exploit them until she was willing to do anything, say anything, until she was completely under his control. She _mustn't,_ no she _couldn't_ let that happen. She could not jeopardise the order, she now realised why Mrs. Weasley, upon finding them listening in on an order meeting had screeched "What you don't know can't be tortured out of you!" Hermione now realised how serious this threat really was. She was grateful Mrs. Weasley had prevented them from learning too much about the order. She began thinking of Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, the children, Ron, Harry, and how she may never see them again. Again, she felt the overwhelming urge to cry. However, she was pulled from her musings by a deafening crack, followed by a high, piercing cackle. Hermione Knew Voldermort had arrived, she knew she was on the verge of death, all that separated her from death was her own wit and endurance.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4; "Learning Lessons"

"_I love them all, even the horrible ones are really fun to write about."- J.K Rowling (on characters)_

"Miss Granger! Said the piercing voice, "Welcome to my humble abode!" He laughed maliciously and the deatheaters imitated.

"Miss Granger, are you aware of who I am?" he questioned her. Hermione nodded her head slowly, deciding that it would be unwise to speak.

"Good, I am even recognised by the foul mudbloods" he said, once again laughing with his death eaters. "Then may I be so bold as to presume that you are also aware of my power mudblood?" Again she nodded slowly. "You are also aware that I could make you a very, very powerful witch Miss Granger. You are a very intelligent and gifted witch, especially for a mudblood. We could use someone like you Miss Granger, you would be praised and rewarded for your work Hermione, not to mention your life will be spared. Here you would not be mocked or scoffed at, we would appreciate you, Don't you want to be respected Hermione?"

Hermione shook her head defiantly, and gathering all her courage said:

"I will _never _betray my friends, I am loyal to the light side and Albus Dumbledore, who is a better wizard and man then you'll ever be! I would rather _die _then betray them!" When she had finished, she spat vehemently at his feet.

"**HOW DARE YOU**!" screamed Lucius Malfoy, moving to strike her, Voldermort raised a hand to silence his protests, and continued:

"You have bravery Hermione, I value bravery greatly, you are also very loyal to your friends, but do they deserve your loyalty?" And with that Hermione felt him delving into her memoriesm in her minds eye she was forced to see memories of all the arguments she'd had with Harry and Ron over the years. She knew this was a trick she must be strong and fight him, for their sake.

"**YES**" She yelled, "They deserve my loyalty" At this Voldermort looked angered, but he quickly removed all traces of emotion from his face.

"You speak truthfully, you are loyal, you are brave, what a shame that you are too **STUPID** to see the opportunities before you!" He roared, "You will learn Hermione, my death eaters will teach you" he smirked before turning to his death eaters and saying, "I will return tomorrow, so I want her alive Lucius" and with that he apparated, leaving Hermione alone with the deatheaters.

It was then that the noise broke out, many death eaters were shouting all at once. From where she was lying on the bed, she couldn't see what they were doing, but she thought she recognised one voice. It was that of her potions master, again hope flared up inside her, she thought again of rescue and escape, surely he was going to rescue her? She was mistaken.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5, "The incident and the indecent"**

"_Seven blunders of the world that lead to violence: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, politics without principle" - Mahatma Gandhi_

Hermione lay on the rotting sponge mattress for God knows how long before she realised what they were doing. They were casting lots to see who would rape her first, and with horror she realised they were also betting on who could make her scream the loudest. Hermione was petrified. Lucius Malfoy had been right, sex (at least like this) was agony. Hermione was still in dreadful pain from the previous assaults of Malfoy and McNair, and was not relishing the thought of having the same process repeated by twelve men. Again she felt close to tears, but she managed to blink them back, possibly because of the thought of Snape her saviour who would rescue her before things got too bad.

Her mind was wrenched from her thoughts by the death eaters loud cheering and clapping. Apparently it seemed the first rapist had been selected. Hermione swallowed her tears and turned her head bravely to face the man who was about to rape her. Her eyes met with his, the pleading face of Severus Snape stared back at her.

"_Merlin Lucius_, she's my pupil for Christ's sake! Do you really think she'll keep quiet about this? My cover will be blown then where we will be? And really, all that for the sake of pathetic mudblood granger, she's not worth it" He snorted, obviously trying to erect a façade and reasonable excuse to hide his real reasons for not wanting to rape her. It was obvious to Hermione that he didn't want to rape her, but she knew he had to, if he didn't his cover would really be blown, that could jeopardise the entire order, not to mention both their lives. She could see the turmoil he was facing reflected in his dark onyx eyes, the only part of him that revealed any hint as to his emotions.

"Oh get on with it Severus! And as for her being your pupil, I doubt she'll be by September, or do Hogwarts admit dead mudbloods now?" Lucius replied tauntingly, causing much mirth among the death eaters.

Severus swallowed hard, then reluctantly stepped towards Hermione. Carefully he removed her robe, before undoing his own trousers. Before Hermione could really comprehend what was happening she was lying half naked on the bed with Snape, _Professor Snape_, kissing her neck, as he nibbled her earlobe he whispered:

"I'm sorry Hermione, I have no choice, I promise I'll be as gentle as I can, but I need you to be strong and make it look good. Scream as loud as you can, don't give them any reason to push you even further!" After whispering this, he began to kiss her neck, then her breasts, he didn't notice as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

She again had to be strong, she tried not to think of the pain, but found it impossible. It hurt, but not as much as Malfoy had. Still, soon the tears rolled constantly down her face and she began to cry out with pain, all be it exaggerated. The death eaters cheered and laughed, shouting words of encouragement to Snape. It seemed to last an eternity, she wanted him to stop desperately, but at the back of her mind she knew when he did, another death eater would take over, and then the pain would not be exaggerated.

Due to this, it was all too soon in her mind that Snape stopped. McNair moved towards her, and then the screams were all too real

Snape knew this, he made his excuses and left, but her screams followed him, echoing hauntingly against the walls of the grim corridor. Hermione panicked, her only hope had just raped her and left her at the mercy of the death eaters.

"You coward" Snape whispered to himself, his voice full of loathing and disgust. "How could you leave her? Maybe you really are the evil, self-preserving Slytherin you make out to be? No" he gulped, trying to snap himself back to reality, "you had no choice" With that he apparated back to the _Three Broomsticks_ in Hogsmeade, promptly ordering a large fire whiskey. He downed it quickly, then began to make his way back to Hogwarts and Dumbledore, it was going to be a _very _long night.

So far, 3911 words in total!


	6. CHapter 6

Chapter 6

"_Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes Heroes"-Benjamin Disraeli_

Dumbledore sighed heavily. He had sat in silence throughout Snape's tale, outwardly he looked calm, but inwardly he was fighting a great moral battle. He was a great man, he was respected, he had been placed as leader, and therefore his decision would be respected. He had to decide whether to risk the lives of several order members to save the life of one school girl, or to leave said girl confined in her own private hell. Hermione was a strong girl, she was intelligent, loyal and brave, _but she was only a girl._ Was it worth risking the lives of full grown _trained_ wizards to save her? _Yes,_ of course it was, he _could not_ be the man who condemned her to death.

"What do you propose we do Severus?" he asked the shaken professor. His answer was simple:

"Save her"

"Yes, but _how_?"

"I'll think of something headmaster" Said Snape through gritted teeth. He still couldn't believe he had left her there, it was _his_ fault that she was facing indescribable pain and almost certain death. And now, it was his duty to rescue her...

"God! It's so simple" Severus yelled, slapping his palm against his forehead. How could it have taken him this long to think of it, he was sure it would work, _it had to..._

"A portkey?" asked Dumbledore incredulously, "Surely Severus, the dark Lord will have protected his headquarters from such things? He will have put wards up!"

"_No_" Said Snape "we death eaters need a way to get in if the ministry are monitoring our apparitions! _This **will** work Albus!_"

"Well Severus, You know what you must do" Snape made his way to the door, "Oh, and Severus, bring her back safe to us" With that Snape left the office and headed towards the Dungeon to brew a concealment potion to hide the portkey, and to check his stocks of Dreamless Sleep potion. He was in no doubt that Hermione would be in desperate need of it.

It had taken him nearly nine days to create the portkey and brew the concealment potion. He would have been quicker had the boomslang not needed to be stewed for 196 hours and 37 minutes. All that time the thought of Hermione in the hands of the death eaters was lurking at the back of his mind.

Finally it was ready and he made the necessary arrangements, he planned to apparate to the dark Lord's lair. He dreaded what he would find when he arrived, so it was with a heavy heart (and a loud bang) that Severus Snape apparated to rescue a mudblood.

"Crucio" Yelled a high pitched voice that would send a chill down the spine of the dead. The deafening screams of a young girl followed.

"I don't know" Chocked Hermione through the pain. It felt as if thousands of white hot knives were piercing her battered and exhausted body all over. She was in so much pain, she was amazed she had lasted this long, and even she knew that she was close to breaking point. She was finding it hard to remember what life was like before this, she was finding it even harder to remember why she didn't just tell Voldemort what he wanted to know. Some of the questions he asked she really didn't know the answers to, but others, she had to use all of her depleting resolve to prevent herself from blurting out the answer.

"Don't lie to me mudblood" yelled the high pitched voice. "Crabbe, take her away" he called, "Inform the death eaters that they will have their toy back tonight!" These words filled Hermione with fear. Eight nights sine her first here she had been the death eater's "_toy_". On the other occasion she had been too badly injured from her lengthy "interrogation" with Voldermort or Bellatrix. Some how, she hadn't told them anything, yet. She didn't know what was worse, the interrogation, or the rape. Her first night had been the worst. It had lasted for hours, and she had been forced to endure it all alone, she had been given a glimpse of salvation, only to have it cruelly snatched from sight. She hoped Snape would have rescued her by now. Again she had been mistaken. She let her thoughts wander, but was snapped back to reality by the clang of her iron bars being slammed shut. The death eaters were here, and she could tell the night was going to be a long one. At least there were only six of them, she found a little consolation in this fact. Her eyes scanned over the group of men huddled in the dimly lit cell, her heart lightened as she saw that neither Lucius nor McNair were amongst them. Both had won many galleons for making her scream the loudest. On four of the eight occasions, McNair had won, three Lucius had won, and on the eighth they had drawn. Her eyes lingered on one of the death eaters, his build seemed familiar. He caught her looking, and there eyes met for what seemed like an eternity. Hermione recognised her potions master. Again she felt that small flicker of hope, he'd come to save her. She thanked God, she was free.

She heard the familiar sound of zips and robes being undone, and footsteps moved slowly towards her.

"Shit" she said her voice cracking, she'd recognised it was Snape, and was wondering why he wasn't doing anything yet. "You?" She said, doubting her self and her prior ascertains.

"Yes Granger it's me" He smirked. Hermione was sure if it was a front, but his face gave no clue as to his real emotions nor his intentions.

"Why?" She asked, beginning to cry, as he kissed her again, he had raised her hopes again only to dash them to pieces.

"Because" he replied laughing. He ran his hands through her hair, then he whispered into her ear: "Hermione, I have put a portkey in your hair, it'll activate in ten minutes, you're getting out of here, now be strong and keep pretending, please"

Hermione nodded her head ever so slightly to show she had understood. She couldn't believe it. Nine minutes and _lots_ of screaming later, a huge bang echoed through the corridor. Snape pulled away and quickly dressed, he ran outside with the others to investigate the commotion.

Seconds after, Hermione felt a peculiar jerking sensation around her stomach, and at last she knew she was safe. Hermione landed with a thud in Hogwarts infirmary, she looked up and saw the familiar faces of Albus Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey and Sirius Black. She barely had time to register this before she passed out.

AN: (this is 1156 words so I kind of kept my promise!)

I'm really sorry we were a day late in updating; my internet wasn't working yesterday so I couldn't upload it then! SORRY! Any way, a massive thank you to you lovely lovely reviewers, Katie (thank you and we have!) Phelps lover (thanks! :-) and last but not least, Kyra4, you are our idol, and it is an honour that you even reviewed us thank you! Ps: It's our half term next week, so I'll probably get loads updated!)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"_Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training". Anna Freud_

"Oh thank God!" Cried McGonagall, "Poppy, She's awake!" Hermione opened her eyes and blinked, she couldn't believe it, she was at Hogwarts. She was in the hospital wing, and she didn't hurt anymore.

"Hermione dear" said McGonagall, "How are you feeling?"

"Err... Confused, I can't remember what happened after... how'd I get back here?" She asked pressing a hand to her head, trying to force herself to remember a memory that was just out of reach.

"Hermione dear, you've been through a truly terrible ordeal, though you are safe now. Shortly into the holiday, your house was raided by death eaters, Hermione, I'm sorry, but your parents were killed, and you, you were captured" McGonagall gulped. "You were tortured and raped repeatedly. We have given you _vast _doses of _Dreamless Sleep _potion, your memory will be a little foggy, maybe for the best at the moment." Hermione's face paled, and then recognition flared in her eyes, and the professor knew that her memory (or at least some if it) had returned to her. She swallowed back the sob that threatened to escape from her throat, and tried to force her voice to remain calm, as she asked:

"How long was I there?"

"Nine days, and nights"

"How did I escape, I can't remember...?"

"Professor Snape dear, he, err used a portkey to get you out. Hermione, you understand he had no choice don't you? He had to do what he did, or you may still be there"

"There is always a choice" whispered Hermione. Her response shocked McGonagall, Hermione was normally the first person to see logic and necessity. For the first time McGonagall realised how much her ordeal was going to affect the girl, she had hoped, rather stupidly, that they would have the same old Hermione back when she woke up. She had been very, very wrong.

McGonagall didn't know what to say, so she said nothing, she placed a reassuring arm around Hermione, only to see her flinch and pull away. She looked into Hermione's eyes, what could she say to this 15 year old _child_ to comfort her? Nothing. She settled for;

"I'm here if you need me dear" Hermione nodded and asked:

"How long have I been here?"

"Two weeks dear, you were very badly injured , very badly, we thought for a while that you might not... but never mind, you're awake now. Hermione, there are two weeks left of the holiday, do you wish to remain here?" McGonagall asked "Arthur and Molly Weasley know what's been going on, and they've said you're more then welcome to go and stay with them, but I think-:

-"Do Harry and Ron know?" Hermione asked urgently,

"No dear, they knew your house was raided and your parents killed, and that you were staying here. But we did not think it wise to tell them what was really happening, we thought they'd be better off not knowing."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement. Harry and Ron had become very protective of her over the years, and even more so recently. In the first week of the holiday they had gone to Diagon Ally, Hermione would be lying if she said she hadn't noticed the male attention she got. She had blossomed into a beautiful young lady, her perfectly proportioned curvy figure, stunning brown eyes, and glossy cinnamon curls were the envy of many women. Harry and Ron noticed the attention she got, although they were not pleased by it. Hermione had to admit that sometimes she wasn't, the problem was she looked older then she was, it was worse in the muggle world, with all the sleazy builders and van drivers who were old enough to be her father whistling and staring at her, she was just glad Harry and Ron weren't around to witness this. In the _Leaky Cauldron _Harry had had to hold Ron back from hitting one guy who offered to buy her a drink! She remembered with a slight smile just _how _protective they were of her. She could see them doing something really stupid, not to mention dangerous, if they knew what the death eaters had done to her. There and then she swore that she would _never_ tell Harry and Ron, as much for their safety as her pride.

With a jolt, McGonagall's voice calling her name snapped her back to reality,

"Hermione dear, are you listening?"

"Sorry professor, I was just thinking"

"Oh my dear, no need to apologise, it's understandable after what you've been through"

"I think I want to stay here" she said. She couldn't stand the thought of Mrs. Weasley fussing over her,

"That's fine dear, you'll be saying here," she motioned to the hospital wing "I'll have your things sent for, we managed to salvage quite a lot."

"Good" said a blank faced Hermione. McGonagall moved to go, "Professor?"

"Yes dear?" she turned to face her student

"Thank you, and please, please don't tell anyone" Hermione broke down, all the emotion she had been forced to bottle up she no longer could, she still would not let the tears flow, and tried to stifle her sobs.

"Of course dear, though you have _nothing_ to be ashamed of. If anything you should be proud of the bravery and strength you showed, not to mention your incredible loyalty- Severus told us." She added, seeing the blank look on Hermione's face. Hermione wiped her eyes, she somehow managed to regain her composure, and said, quite calmly,

"I don't want to see him, not yet. I can't deal with seeing him now"

"Of course" Professor McGonagall walked towards the doorway, and discretely wiped a tear from her own eye.

A/N

A MASSIVE thank you to you wonderful reviewers, you have no idea how much your comments mean to us, **lee74, Mai Gamit, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover (**I really like you, lol x** ), Darkraven-04, Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient. Rane2920072, **the lovely **hannahslattery**and the wonderful** Kyra4. **

**Thank you, all you reviews were really positive and we are very grateful for them!**

**X x x Jenny and Fiona x x X**

**In response to negative feedback from:**

"**me"**

We received a review off "**me**", which very cleverly stated: "spells are in latin", now, I would like to point out that if "**me**" had any real grasp of **L**atin, or was even half as obsessed with Harry Potter as we are, then "**me**" would realise that not all spells in the books are in **L**atin! for example, "Alohamora", "Aparecium", "Avada Kedavra", "Obliviate", "Relihio", "Rictusempra", "Stupefy", "Tarantallegra", "Waddiwassi" and most memorably, "Wingardium Leviosa" all have no direct Latin meaning, (although many (like nearly every language in the world) are derivatives of Latin) so there, all spells are not in Latin! (Just so you don't think I'm chatting a load of bull, I studied Latin for four years, and got an A in it at GCSE)

So, Sic, tunc vicis you're iens ut velico nonnullus unus , tendo quod reputo (si vos vel possum) super quis you're vere sententia!

**Jibblia**

If you take one sip of sulphuric acid by accident, would you down the whole bottle? It's kind of obvious from the fist chapter (if not the summery) that this story is going to contain themes like rape/violence, plus it's rated R so that should be a good indication, if you don't like stories on these themes, don't go looking for them, never mind reading 6 chapters of them! ( 7 if you're reading this!) You said "The death eaters wouldn't rape someone, they are into conquering over good and killing, they aren't rapists. They would use the killing curse and be rid or her quickly or use her as a bargaining chip to extract information form The Order somehow." I feel that the Death eaters seek to cause as much pain as possible in the most appropriate way. I felt that for Hermione the most suffering would be caused by a combination of rape and torture, (we know that deatheaters enjoy inflicting pain- eg:Bellatrix in the ministry of magic (OotP), and that they use torture as a method of extracting information- the case of the Longbottoms). Had Hermione not been rescued by Snape, then they would have gone on to use her as a bargaining tool _after_ they had extracted all the possible information from her _by whatever means necessary_ (ie: rape/torture!). Plus, by hurting Hermione, they will hurt Harry very efficiently, and aim to provoke an impulsive and dangerous response from him. I know that this story may be _slightly_ unrealistic, _BUT THIS IS FANFICTION-IT'S ALLOWED TO BE MADE_ UP! So thank you for your criticisms, but next time try to deliver them in a more constructive way with textual evidence to support them, don't just yell your opinion! Finally there are many, many, many more rape stories out there then this one that are a lot more graphic, and if you didn't notice, Hermione's safe and rescued in the first 5000 words, this story is well over 50,00 words so the rape, while being crucial to the plot line, is not the main theme of the story!

Sorry to anyone else who read those responses, we really don't mind if you criticise us, as long as it's justified, and in the case of opinions, that you have some form of textual evidence to back it up. We can't stand being unjustly criticised, if you were saying our style/proofing is rubbish (and back it up with examples), then that's something we can aim to improve on, but if you don't like the genre of the story, why even bother reading it? If it's your opinion, that's fine, but please remember, no one forced you to read this.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"_It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see". Henry David Thoreau_

"_Severus, please, understan_d!" pleaded an exasperated professor McGonagall.

"What do you expect me to do? Have my meals sent down to the dungeons and avoid all public places?" questioned Snape sarcastically. "Staff will ask questions, and we really don't want that bloody Trelawny getting hold of this!" He retorted in equal exasperation. "She's a strong girl, and intelligent, surely she can understand we must act normally!"

"You said it yourself Severus, she's a _girl! _And at the moment she's a very frightened and vulnerable _little girl_. She's been to Hell and back and you know it! Yes, she may understand you had no choice_,('a little white lie' thought McGonagall 'she will understand in good time, maybe she already does_') but you still remind her of what she's been through, and can you blame her for not wanting a _constant _reminder of that? Don't you realise she's changed? Things can never go back to the way they are. Do you really think you'll ever be able to look her in the eye, or her you, without remembering what you did?"

She had broken him, and she knew it. Severus was forced to admit publicly what had been tormenting him since it happened-:

"**NO**!" He yelled. "I won't! I'll **neve**r forget it as long as I _live or die_!" His usually controlled face filling with emotion. "I _raped_ a **FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL** for _God's sake_ Minerva! Do you really think I could _ever, ever_ forget what I did? Do you think I want to see _her _and be reminded of what _I _did to her?"

"I know Severus, I know" Said McGonagall using the same comforting tone she had with Hermione. "Maybe you should talk to her, she knows you aren't responsible for this, and that you didn't want to, in fact she might even be grateful for you rescuing her! It's just she's not ready to think about it yet. The wounds are still too fresh." She said, meaning the psychological traumas, but inadvertently reminding herself that the same could be said for her physical wounds.

"You just remind her of things she wants to forget"

"You're right of course; I'll see her when she feels better. She is staying here for the rest of the summer isn't she?"

"Yes"

"I'll talk to her later then... before September" he added seeing the reproachful look he received from McGonagall.  
"Good. I'll tell her first, so it won't come as a shock. She's going to be in the hospital wing for another couple of days at least, they really did a good job on her" She said grimly,

"Bastards" Added Snape, spitting the word through rage. "She's a child for God's sake! I swear, we will get them for this Minerva" he almost whispered, swearing his vengeance.

"She's not the first and she won't be the last, this is what we fight for, her, and the many others like her, for those who cannot defend themselves. That is why we do this, that is why we fight" Her words sent a chill down his spine. At that moment the power she emanated was similar to that he had only ever felt from Dumbledore, the feeling stayed with him, as did the message that her words contained.

**A/N**

See, I promised you 1000 words every Sunday, chapter 7 was 963 (excluding A/N) so I had to upload another chapter, just so I could keep my promise! Lol!

X x x Fiona and Jenny x x X


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"_If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill _

"NO" said Hermione. Her experience may have left her tentative and on edge, but it had had no effect at all on her verocity. Today's debate was with Madame Pomfrey, and was about Hermione going (or not going) to the great hall for her meals.

"Hermione, how do you expect to get back to normal if you won't even leave this room?" said an exasperated Pomfrey. She wasn't aware of Snape's involvement in Hermione's ordeal.

"I want to talk to Professor McGonagall" demanded Hermione. She still wasn't ready to see him, not yet.

"Fine! Have it your way" If Hermione wanted to shut herself away from the world that was her decision! Thought Poppy bitterly as she went off in search of Minerva.

Hermione prayed silently that Pomfrey had locked the door. She had been at Hogwarts for three weeks now, conscious for one, yet she still had nightmares about the death eaters. She hated being left alone, but at the same time when she was near people she felt uncomfortable. Her physical wounds were near enough healed, she would be left with many scars, hopefully in time they would fade, but now they stood out vividly against her pale skin, and they sickened her. There were other scars as well, deep mental scars that would remain for a very long time. Whenever Pomfrey touched her, to change the dressing on her wounds, to help her to take her medicine, or just to give her a reassuring pat, Hermione would flinch. She often wondered whether she would ever feel normal again. Would she ever be able to stand physical contact? Would she ever have a boyfriend? Husband? Children? At the moment she just couldn't imagine actually _living_, rather then just existing, and the thought frightened her. And what of Harry and Ron? They had always been very possessive of her, they often put protective arms around her, picked her up, sat her on their knees, or made some other affectionate gesture. Would she be able to stand it? Surely they would notice something was wrong , would they make her tell them? How would she cope in her potions lessons with that slimy git Snape? McGonagall had asked Hermione if she would talk to him, she said that it wasn't Snape's choice, nor was it his fault. Hermione knew this, but she wasn't willing to accept or admit it. She would at some stage, just not yet. She wasn't ready to see him or talk to him, never mind forgive him! She was wrenched from her musings by an irate Madame Pomfrey and an exasperated McGonagall.

"Hermione, you will be back at school in a week" said McGonagall, "You _have_ to start going out in public!"

"You know why I can't" replied an equally exasperated Hermione. "I want to visit Harry and Ron" She had been thinking about this for days, and McGonagall's insistence to get her to see Snape had clinched it. She would go and visit the Weasleys, she would feel safe with them, and they would help her get used to people again. It would also give her the opportunity to talk to Mrs. Weasley (and possibly Ginny) about her worries . McGonagall tried, but Hermione didn't want to talk about _that_ kind of things with a teacher. "I want to see my friends, I want to have a holiday, and I want to feel safe" said Hermione all in one breath, bracing herself for McGonagall's outrage. She was however, pleasantly surprised by McGonagall's response.

"Of course dear. We all want you to feel happy and safe" she said blinking back tears. "I'll go floo Molly and make the arrangements. Poppy, would you help pack her things and get her washed and dressed?" Asked McGonagall as she left the hospital wing.

"Well come on then, let's be having you" she said as she helped Hermione to her feet. Despite most of her injuries being healed, she was still weak, and occasionally needed help with things, not surprising considering she'd been unconscious for two weeks!)

Within twenty minutes Hermione was perched on the edge of her bed waiting for news of her imminent departure. She was excited but apprehensive. What would Harry and Ron think? What would Mrs. Weasley say, would she make a fuss or act normally? All these questions buzzed round in Hermione's head, and she began to feel sick. She wrapped her hair nervously around her finger, an almost forgotten habit of hers. Madam Pomfrey had agreed to conceal her bruises and scars, but only after making Hermione promise to take the foul tasting "_Pepper Up_" potion every day. Now all she had to do was wait...

A/N:

Again, a massive thank you to all our reviewers: , **lee74, Mai Gamit, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover (**Wow, your review gave us goosebumps, thanks!),** Darkraven-04, Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient. Rane2920072, Emz, acdenerd **the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful** Kyra4. **

And again in response to **"me":**

Your review made me chuckle, why? Because now we're arguing the same point, we both agree that spells are generally derivatives of Latin, (if not directly taken from the Latin language). I said that in my last response. Latin is the basis for many of the modern languages we use today, this is especially true in areas that were once controlled by the Roman Empire, such as Italy, England and Spain, the languages spoken in these places consist mainly of Latin derivatives (like the spells), the two words I used for my spell are derivatives of Latin, so are viable as spells using J.K Rowling's own definition (according to you).


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"_Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them." Adlai Stevenson_

McGonagall burst into the hospital wing looking flustered,

"Hermione dear" she said, "Albus, I mean the headmaster has said you may go so stop looking so worried, but you won't be going to the Burrow, you'll be going to Grimauld place it's safer, and besides the Weasleys and Harry are already there. You'll be getting there by floo powder, Molly will be expecting you in..." she looked at her watch, "in 30 seconds, oh good gracious, well don't just stand there, quickly quickly into the grate, there's a good girl, now elbows in, and speak clearly, we'll send your things along after you, Oh don't worry about that now" gushed McGonagall as Hermione reached out for her _standard book of spells grade six. _"Goodbye dear we'll see you soon!" cried McGonagall

"Goodbye dear" said Pomfrey

"Bye, and... and thank you. Number 12 Grimauld Place" said Hermione as she tossed the emerald powder into the flames, and felt the sickening whirling sensation.

"That poor girl" said Poppy, McGonagall nodded in agreement. Hermione had been through hell and was only half way back, both women knew it, and both regretted it. The innocent are always the first to fall, thought McGonagall sadly. Still, she was safe now, and that was what really mattered.

"Ginny! She's here!" Hermione had only a second in which to hear the ecstatic cry before she was totally engulfed by Mrs. Weasley in a motherly hug, this was the first time she had not flinched at human contact since her ordeal. She felt all her worries miraculously drift away, absorbed by Mrs. Weasley. When Mrs. Weasley reluctantly released her, she was shocked to see that she had tears in her eyes, but even more shocked to see that Ginny had appeared from nowhere, looking every inch the Weasley, and _very_ grown up.

"Hi, how've you been?" asked Ginny, also giving her a hug.

"Umm yeah, not too bad I suppose, and you?

"Bored! But now you here I'll at least have some one at least half human to talk to!" Both girls laughed. With a loud "thud" Hermione's trunk toppled out of the fireplace. "Come on lets take your things upstairs" said Ginny

"Oh don't bother girls, I'll get the boys to do it later"

"No mum, it's fine, honestly. Come on 'Mione, grab an end" Hermione, noticing Ginny's emphatic voice did as she was told, however two flights of stairs later she was regretting it. She wasn't really up to her usual strength, and realised now that lugging a huge trunk up two flights of stairs was not the best idea she'd ever had. She was starting to feel dizzy and faint, and was _very _glad when Ginny announced that this was there room. Once inside, Hermione collapsed onto the bed that Ginny motioned to as hers.

"I'm knackered after that!" she sighed, "Why didn't we make the boys do it again?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you away from mum" said Ginny, sitting, equally exhausted, on her own bed.

"What about?" asked Hermione, starting to panic, but trying as hard as possible to sound unbothered.

"Well just about how pretty you've got! I can't believe it, I can't wait to see the boy's jaws drop when they see you, I bet you a sickle that they won't recognise you?" she said smiling. Hermione relaxed a little, "But no, there's something else, what's changed?" asked Ginny, a frown forming on her face. _She is really good at sensing things_ Hermione thought.

"Well, you know about my parents being killed and my house ransacked and everything don't you?" she said all too quickly,

"Something else has happened" said Ginny, gazing into her eyes.

"No, no, nothing happened" said Hermione, her voice rising in pitch, she was panicking, Ginny was going to find out and she might tell the boys.

"Yes it did, it must've, mum was crying for days after we heard about the raid, and dad want pale every time we mentioned you, what happened,? You know you can tell me anything Hermione,"

"NO I CAN'T" sobbed Hermione, it was all very well feeling safe downstairs, but now Ginny was forcing her to remember... "You won't understand, you'll tell Harry and Ron, and they must _never _know" It was a testament to their friendship that Ginny was able to understand what Hermione was saying through her heart wrenching sobs. Ginny crossed the room and knelt beside Hermione's bed, she took Hermione's hand between her own,

"Tell me, I _promise _you I won't tell them" she said, as calmly as she could.

"Fine!" Hermione half yelled, "You think you want to know, well then I'll tell you! I was kidnapped by the death eaters, they took me to the Dark Lord's lair. I was there for 9 days and nights of sheer Hell. Nine days of brutal interrogation and torture, nine nights or rape and beatings. I escaped back to Hogwarts, when I arrived there I was near dead. I was unconscious for two weeks, I have nightmares every single night, I have so many bruises and scars that I can't tell what colour my skin _actually_ is without a concealment charm. Pomfrey's healed most of them, but there are other scars Ginny, scars that will never heal." She finished, and turned her back to her friend, who was sitting on the floor totally dumbstruck.

"I am so, so sorry. Oh Hermione!" she said getting up and hugging her friend. They sat there like that for God knows how long. Hermione finally being able to discuss everything she had been through with someone who would listen to her and understand her. At parts of Hermione's story, Ginny cried too, she couldn't believe her friend was able to withstand so much pain, and still act relatively normally. She truly admired her. After a while, when Hermione felt she had said her piece, they moved on to other subjects, and miraculously, within a couple of hours they were _laughing_. _Hermione was actually laughing_! '_This girl really is something else'_, Ginny thought to herself.

Molly Weasley smiled to herself as he passed the door of her only daughter, she heard the girls' laughter drifting through the dull air. Her plan had worked, her daughter had picked up her hints and dragged the truth out of Hermione. Things would be better this way, if Hermione had a friend to talk to about what she'd been through she was one step further on the road to normality. Molly knew her daughter, and she knew that she would never betray Hermione's trust. Contented, at least for now, Molly went downstairs and hugged her husband.

A/N: This is a little early, mainly because I have no homework tonight lol, but also because it was a really short chapter on Sunday, Thanks for your reviews, they really do mean so much, (ie: please please review) lol.

A massive thank you to our lovely reviewers: **lee74, Mai Gamit, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover **(it is an honour to be considered such),** Darkraven-04, Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072 (**this isn't much longer, but it is early, so there you go! Lol**), Emz, acdenerd **the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4. **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: "Deep brown eyes"

"_Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut." Author Unknown_

"Ginny, Hermione, dinner!" cried Mrs. Weasley, her voice floating up the flights of stairs (not too loud tough, they must avoid waking Mrs. Black)

"Down in a minute" her daughter answered. Mrs. Weasley smiled, she could still hear the girl's laughter as she made her way out into the newly added garden. It had been charmed to be invisible to anyone who had not been told by the secret keeper of Grimauld place that it was there. The boys had been playing quidditch in it all day, and still didn't know that Hermione had arrived, Mrs. Weasley had wanted to surprise them. She called them in and sent them to get cleaned up. She entered the kitchen to find Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, Remus and her husband sat around the large table talking animatedly. She took her seat opposite Arthur just as the boys entered the room. At first they didn't even notice Hermione, it wasn't until she tentatively said

"Err... hi" that they noticed her. She smiled nervously at them. Their jaws dropped simultaneously just as Ginny had predicted, she had to stifle a laugh. Harry was the first to speak;

"Hermione? What are you doing here? You look really well!" He said blushing slightly, but none the less giving her a hug. Touched by his enthusiasm, Hermione smiled through her un-comfort as he wrapped his arms around her. Still she flinched slightly as Ron swept her into his arms, thank God they didn't notice!

"'Mione, we missed you, how've you been?

"Err, not to bad thanks," she lied, keeping her vow not to tell them about her ordeal.

"Sorry about you're folks" said Bill as he pulled her into a brotherly embrace. Charlie reiterated these sentiments and patted her on the back. Fred or George (she couldn't tell which) gave her a hug, while the other Fred or George enquired about her holiday. After all the hugs and greetings were over, they all sat back down to a lovely home cooked meal. It was the first time Hermione could remember feeling happy since that night four weeks ago. She was safe, and she felt happy, she was with the only "_family_" she had left. Overcome with all these emotions, not to mention fatigue, Hermione felt flustered and was distracted, especially by the constant barrage of questions from Harry and Ron about her holiday. If she had been more alert, she may have noticed that not all the people present were as happy as she was. Sirius Black sat moodily staring at her from across the table.

'_My God, she looks so beautiful' he thought, 'Those bastards, how could they do this to her? They've changed her.' _Sirius was pissed off beyond belief. He had been at Hogwarts when she'd arrived, and he had seen first hand the state she was in:- crying, battered, bleeding, drifting in and out of consciousness, screaming and flinching at the slightest touch, terrified. '_Hermione was never like that, she was always so, so in control, not any more' _he thought bitterly. He was one of the few males at the table who knew the true extent of the horrors Hermione had faced. And the thought of it made him feel sick, those _scum, kissing her, touching her, raping her. _It made him want to hit something. He was just as protective over her as any of the boys were, and that scared him. He tried to convince himself that he would be just as protective over Ginny, but deep down he knew that that wasn't true. Sure, he would punch any guy who looked at either of them in the wrong way, but with Hermione it was different, it made him feel almost... _jealous,_ _as if she was his_. Whoa , what was he thinking? He must've had _way_ too much _Fire whiskey_. But there was something about those _deep brown eyes..._

A/N: Dun dun dun! Read the next chapter...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 "_She was home."_

"_Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." Author Unknown_

Hermione felt safe, happy and loved that night, she went to sleep contented, and had dreams, not nightmares. Hermione was even getting used to physical contact, she was starting to think her life might actually get back to normal. Her days at Grimauld place made her feel almost like her old self again, but all too quickly Mrs. Weasley was ordering them to pack their trunks, and to have an early night as they had an early start tomorrow. With a jolt Hermione realised that she would be returning to Hogwart's tomorrow, she would be forced to share meals and lessons with one of her rapists, and the son of an other. She didn't know how she would cope.

She knew McGonagall would try and get her to talk to Snape, but she wouldn't. She understood why he had done it, she understood he had no choice, but she couldn't face him. She just wanted to forget it, put it behind her, and she couldn't see how talking to Snape would help her do that, if anything it would set her back, and undo all of the progress she had made so far.

And as for Draco, well he was not his father (no matter how similar they looked). Hermione would just have to cope with the similarities but concentrate on the differences- only one was a rapist. She knew it was going to be difficult, but she hoped that with her friends around her she'd manage. Sadly she was wrong. Hermione didn't seep well that night and the nightmares returned. It was with a heavy heart and tired mind that Hermione began the journey to King's cross. Thankfully everyone was tired and subdued and full of back-to-school gloom, so her mood went un-noticed.

They left Grimauld place at half past nine, the ministry had provided cars again this year, mainly to protect Harry (the ministry now knew about the prophecy) but it was also suspected that Dumbledore had pulled a few strings at the ministry as a favour to the Weasleys.

The journey flew by (_literally!_). It only took forty minutes, it should have taken well over an hour in rush hour London traffic, but thanks to the car's _special features_ they had been able to pick their war through the smallest gaps, cars seemed to miraculously move out of their way. Hermione sat nervously twisting her hair around a finger, she knew that soon they would be there, and then she would have to leave the safety of the Weasleys. All too soon the driver's voice cried:

"We're here! Come on lads, give us a hand with these trunks will you?" He eyed the four boys, each strengthened by years (and practically an entire summer) of quidditch. The boys instantly obliged, all trying to impress the passing Hogwarts' girls, by managing to carry Ginny and Hermione's trunks as well as their own. Hermione suppressed a laugh and smiled at how her friends had grown up. It seemed like yesterday that she was a bushy-haired, buck-toothed first year searching for Neville's toad, when she stumbled upon Harry and Ron. She had been such a little know it all, she was lucky they even spoke to her! But at least then she was happy, she'd been glad to be going to Hogwarts. Now, so much was different, Voldemort was back, war was about to break out, nowhere was safe. She felt her eyes fill with tears;

'Stop it!" She told herself. "You are safe at Hogwarts, you have friends who love you and who want to protect you! Get a grip!'

"Err... Earth to Hermione?" said Ron waving his hand in front of her face,

"Oh, sorry just... just thinking"

"What about?" asked Harry

"just you know, the old days" She smiled as she surveyed her friends. She stepped forward, she hugged them, she loved them so much, they'd been through so much together, she didn't even realise that she'd initiated the physical contact.

"Ron" she said stepping back and wiping the tears from her eyes, "You have dirt on you nose by the way." She turned on her heel and climbed the train steps to join Ginny in their compartment, leaving two confused Gryffindors staring after her.

"Girls" said Harry, "Are weird!"

"Amen!" said Ron

"finally, you two have actually-"

"leaned something!" said Fred and George sarcastically.

After hurried goodbyes , they were on their way. The journey was uneventful, the three friends sat together, reminiscing about the old times, and laughing about the things they had done. Hermione felt a little more like her old self, that was until she hared a familiar voice that sent shivers down her spine. Draco Malfoy entered the compartment,

"... father says the dark lord is keeping a low profile"-

"**Out Malfoy**!" said Ron grabbing his wand and leaping to his feet, Harry quickly followed suit ,

"well welcome back to you too Weasley!" said Malfoy, drawing his own wand, "I think I'll stay here actually, rather nice scenery" he said casting a lingering eye over Hermione. At this, Harry got v_ery_ angry.

"Don't you even look at her !" he yelled,

"Oh, sorry Potter, didn't realise she was _your _mudblood!" said Draco sarcastically,

"**How Dare You!**" Shrieked Ginny,

"_Petrificus total-:"_

_"Expelliarmus!" _Harry cut across Draco's spell. Harry now held Malfoy's wand, however Crabbe and Goyle still had theirs (not that they had the sense to use their minds!). They were advancing on Harry and Ron, fists raised when three voices cried

"_Mucus Metamorphoses" _as Ginny, Fred and George all cast the _Bat Bogey Hex _at exactly the same moment

"Hmmm, interesting" said George, stepping over the stunned forms of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, "looks like the _Bat Bogey Hex_ stuns when cast by three people!"

"You lot have picked up our bad influence, not even at school and already duelling! Honestly!" Chuckled Fred. "Come on, give me a hand with these three" he said to Harry and Ron. The boys dragged them out of the compartment, leaving Hermione and Ginny alone.

"You ok?" asked Ginny, seeing the tears in Hermione's eyes

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just, gods he looks so much like his father!" she said half laughing. "Yup, I'm fine, I've got the _big strong boys_ to protect me!" she said, breaking down into hysterics with Ginny.

The boys quickly re-entered the compartment,

"I hate that Malfoy"

"Who doesn't?" asked Harry

"Hermione, if he _ever_ touches you, I _will_ kill him" said Ron, " _I mean the way he looked at you...!_"

"Ron, thank you for your concern, but really, you can't go around beating up every guy who looks at me, or Ginny for that matter- are you speaking to Dean yet?"

"No. You're my best friend, and Ginny's my sister, do you think I'm gonna let slime like Malfoy leer at you? Sorry Hermione, not budging, and neither's Harry right?"

"Aha"

"uh, fine, I give in!" said an exasperated Hermione, "but please, please, just _try_ to tone it down a little? Please, before you get your selves in trouble"

"Please?" asked Ginny, in her best _little-girl_ tone

"No" said Harry and Ron flatly. And that was the end of that.

Fred and George joined them for the rest of the journey. After several rounds of exploding snap and pumpkin juice, they heard the familiar sound of pistons scraping to a halt as the train pulled into Hogsmeade station. After the usual commotion to get students and animals off the train, Hermione looked over and saw Hagrid leading the scared looking first years towards the lake. Hermione smiled- things were as they should be. Some things couldn't change, and they hadn't. She climbed into the carriage drawn by the thestrals, which thankfully she couldn't see. After a bumpy ride they arrived at the front gates.

'Here goes nothing' she thought as she climbed the steps. She was back, she was at Hogwarts, she was home.

A/N

Hee hee hee, a bit of light hearted cheese! Lol. Thanks to you lovely reviewers:** lee74, Mai Gamit** (why thank you! Lol)**, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover **(I love quotes too, I recommend it's a fantastic site- (which I don't own -disclaimer)),** Darkraven-04 (**this one's a pretty long update, lol**), Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072 (**if you say so, lol**), Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2 (**a whole hour, good god girl!the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4. **

Response (_again_!) to "me"

You're very welcome. Sorry for previously repeating myself, but from your second review, it seemed, (that even after the first explanation of Spanish words as Latin derivatives) that you didn't really get where _I_ was coming from as you still referred to them as "idiotic language references" which hopefully by now you see they are not. Glad to have cleared that up, Latin derivatives are acceptable as spells, thank you, the end. (and by the way, "my mind is blank with wonder" too easy! lol)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"_Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional". M. Kathleen Casey_

"Welcome back students, old and new. There is a time for speeches, but this is not it, so eat drink and be merry!" Dumbledore clapped his hands and the golden plates were suddenly piled high with glorious food.

The Gryffindors did as Dumbledore instructed. They discussed their holidays, and their theories on what Voldemort was doing. Hermione was shocked to discover how little the Death Eaters had done (other then her). Her housemates were equally shocked to discover that her house had been raided and her parents murdered. She didn't wish to go into detail on the subject, and politely refused to do so.

Her housemates offered their sympathies and then continued with the feast, Hermione was not hungry. Memories of her parents' murder had led her to memories of her ordeal. Almost instinctively she turned her head to the staff table looking for one of the men who had been responsible for her suffering: Severus S-

"SNAPE! You've got to be kidding me! Snape, first thing on a Monday, for a double! I'm not gonna cope!" Cried an astonished Ron, banging his head on the table. Hermione whirled round to see Professor McGonagall handing out the 6th and 7th year timetables,

"There you are Hermione dear" Said McGonagall, handing her her own timetable. Hermione opened it with trepidation, certain of what it would contain. She had potions first thing, tomorrow morning; Hermione felt that familiar sensation of panic sweep over her.

"Have you had chance to think about what I suggested?"

"Yes" said Hermione, "And my answer's still no" Hermione said flatly, and turned back to face the table, receiving quizzical looks from her housemates.

"Extra credit assignment" she lied. She was too busy worrying about Snape's lesson to hear much more of the conversation. She looked towards the staff table, she realised with a jolt that he was staring at her. Their eyes met for the first time since _that_ night. Hermione felt overcome with a strong urge to throw up, she managed to suppress this urge, and turned again to face her friends.

"You ok? You look like you're gonna throw up, shall I take you to the hospital wing or something?" Ginny asked her voice full of concern. Hermione shook her head, their eyes met, and with a surreptitious nod towards the staff table, a sigh of understanding escaped Ginny's lips. Leaving Harry and Ron very confused

"Girl stuff" said Ginny, suppressing a giggle, this was the only answer that was guaranteed to stop Harry and Ron asking questions.

"Oh" said Harry and Ron simultaneously, both blushing slightly.

"So, what do you think of the _Cannon's _chances at the cup this year?" asked Ron, with _such_ a discreet change of subject. Their reaction made Hermione laugh. No matter how grown up her friends seemed, they would never change in some ways. Some things weren't meant to change, and as she looked at her friends, she realised they never would.

A/N:

He he he, lol, anyway, onto the next chapter...


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"_Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." Winston Churchill_

After Dumbledore's speech, (which had contained the usual message "Stand united from within"), Hermione and her housemates headed off to the Gryffindor tower. Sleepy from good food, the majority of them, Hermione included, made their way to bed. Hermione could not sleep, she was too worried about tomorrow morning's potions lesson. As she lay there in the pitch black room, the memories of rape and torture crept back into her mind vividly, they flooded back, as did her tears.

" 'Mione?" called a groggy voice,

"Yeah Lavender?" Hermione answered, wiping away the tears (despite the fact she was hidden from Lavender's view by the bed hangings) and trying to make her voice sound normal.

"You ok? Why are you crying?"

"I'm fine, really, go back to sleep"

"No you're not, what's wrong?"

"Something must've happened to make you cry, you're not the type to cry over nothing" said Lavender, crossing the room and drawing back Hermione's bed hangings before perching on the edge of her bed.

"I'm just, just upset about my parents, I mean, so much happened, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you!" Hermione almost laughed,

"I can't say I understand, but if you need to talk, well, I'm here ok?"

"Thanks Lav, thank you" Hermione whispered.

Lavender gave her a hug before returning to her own bed, and soon Hermione heard her snores.

Four hours later, and Hermione still wasn't asleep, she had tried reading _Hogwarts: A History _(although she would deny it under oath, that book could put any one to sleep!). However, four hours later here she was, watching the first rays of sunlight breaking through her curtains.

"_Shit! It's 6 o'clock! Oh my God, I have lessons in three hours, there's no way I'll get any sleep now!"_ She thought. Hermione decide she would get up, have a nice hot bath, get dressed and then go to the library to do some research. She got up and grabbed a set of robes as quietly as she could, scribbled a note explaining to the girls where she'd gone and made her way to the prefects' bathroom.

"Pine fresh" she whispered and the door sprung open, she entered and murmured a sealing charm on the door behind her. She filled the bath and quickly undressed.

"Finite incantortem" She said, pointing her wand at herself, removing the concealment charm the Madame Pomfrey had placed on her bruises and scars just over a week ago. She crossed the room, stopping in front of the large, full length ornate mirror. She starred at her reflection. She felt sick. Her wrists and ankles still showed deep welts, that Hermione suspected would always remain, serving to remind her of how she'd been chained. Her back too was covered in shiny silver trails, permanent scars inflicted by the wand of Voldemort. She shivered, partly from cold, but mostly because of memories.

"Injoure Secrete" The scars vanished, the memories did not. She climbed into the deep bath, she slowly began to relax, feeling the tension and the memories dissipating into the warm, sweet smelling water, she was on the verge of sleep...

"Shit!" she gasped, catching sight of her watch- she hurriedly got dried and dressed then headed off towards the great hall. The library could wait, she'd been in the bath two hours, Harry and Ron would be worrying. Hermione was wondering what the house elves would serve for breakfast, she was really rather hungry, when she bumped into-:

"Malfoy?"

"Yes, your point being?"

"err, sorry, I wasn't looking"

"I was" said Malfoy seizing her wrist and helping her to her feet. "You look good Granger, really good" At this, Hermione realised he was still holding her wrist, she tried to pull it free, and in doing so backed herself against the wall. Malfoy stepped forward, his face inches from hers, somehow he had seized her other wrist and both were now firmly pinned against the wall behind her, he moved in even closer.

"No" she whispered "please don't" her vision swimming as tears flooded her eyes, "_gods he looks like his father, and smells like his father, and stands like his father," _at this moment in time, Draco _was_ his father, to Hermione at least, and she couldn't take it, there were too many memories.

Draco was shocked, he released his grip and stepped backwards. He'd expected a slap, or maybe a jinx, but _crying? Not from Granger!_ Hermione saw her chance and ran.

"What" Draco muttered "was that?", He shrugged, probably just the time of the month or something. Why worry about it any way? It's not as if she's someone who matters! And with that, Draco made his way to the great hall, wondering what slop the little rodents would try feeding them today.

**A/N **

Hey, thanks as usual to all you lovely reviewers:

**lee74, Mai Gamit** **, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover (he **he he, that's nothing, wait for the real Sirius epiphany!(**Darkraven-04 (**not yet, but be patient and all will be revealed!**), Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072 (**don't worry, hope that wasn't pansyish, and Harry and Ron will, well, I'll leave that to your imagination, but I'll say it wont be pretty when they find out, muhahahahah!**), Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2 (**not yet, but be patient and all will be revealed!**), Zaralya (**thank you, I'm sorry, I really need to go to a support group, My name's Fiona and I can be slightly sadistic, but I do like happy endings, sometimes, he he **), GabreilsGirl (**She's not prenant, the constant torture and sexual abuse were enough protection, it is extremely unlikely that a foetus could survive those kind of conditions- plus I'm not keen on the whole pregnancy story thing lol), **acid green quill** (with laughter or tears?, thanks anyway!), the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4. **

But now for the bad bit, I just thought I'd warn you that we might not be able to post next Sunday, I know there's no proper excuse for not updating, but here's ours: We both work, and since now there are only 40 shopping days till Xmas, my boss have decided that not only do I have to work Saturdays, but every other Sunday! Not fair! (Jenny's has also decreed something similar). We'd probably cope if it weren't for the fact that this week is "review week" at school, meaning that all the teachers want to have some way of assessing you, so I have 3 essays to do this weekend, plus 4 mocks next week! Again, Not fair. Anyway, I apologise, and I will try my hardest to get a chapter up (but if I do, it'll probably be even shorter then usual- which by my standards is miniscule!) Sorry,

Fiona x x x

(Ps, I only typed these chapters today, so they've not been properly proofed, my spelling is atrocious as is my grammar. SORRY! Hope it doesn't detract from the story too much.)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"_One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say." Will Durant_

"mornin' 'Mione" said Ron through a mouth full of kippers. The table was laden with food, and people. Ron took her hand and pulled her down, squishing her into the only available space on that half of the table, sandwiched between him and Harry. She flinched.

"You ok?" asked Harry, seeing her reaction. He starred into her eyes,"'Mione, you been crying?" he asked, Ron turned away from his plate to face her.

"What's happened?" he questioned. Hermione tried (and failed) to smile.

"Nothing, I couldn't sleep. I'm just tired, that's all"

"Come on Hermione, we know you better then that. Now are you going to tell us what's wrong or are we going to have to tickle it out of you?" Ron persisted smiling. The thought of being tickled by them at this moment in time made Hermione feel thoroughly sick.

"just, well, you know, Malfoy was bothering me and-"

"What did he say Hermione?" asked Harry, all traces of a smile now gone from his face.

"Just the usual mud blood stuff, it wasn't what he said, it was what he did, what he tried to do" she corrected herself.

"What did he do 'Mione?" Harry's voice was now un-naturally calm.

"He, well, he tried to kiss me.." she said, trying desperately to sound calm.

"WHAT!" growled Ron, rising from his seat

"Really Ron, calm down, he didn't he just tried, it's nothing really, I can handle him" she lied. She didn't want her friends to go all noble and get into trouble on her account.

"It's not nothing Hermione" said Harry quietly. He was always more perceptive then Ron, and he had realised something had changed about Hermione over the summer. Harry also realised that Death Eaters weren't likely to just leave a beautiful, un armed, teenage girl alone especially one so close to him who could provide them with so much information and especially considering that they had gone to the trouble of destroying her house and murdering her parents. Harry had suspicions that something had happened, but he didn't mention it to Ron or Hermione, as he already knew what their reactions would be. Ron would go on a crusade to kill every Death Eater who had ever inflicted pain on her, and she would just deny that anything had happened.

"What happened Hermione?" there was something about his calm, collected manner that made Hermione feel she could tell them.

"I was on my way down here, I bumped into him" she said slowly, avoiding eye contact with either of them. "He said something about he'd been watching and he thought I looked good (she blushed, Ron cracked his knuckles, Harry stayed calm) he helped me up, he still had hold of my wrist, before I knew it he'd backed me into the wall and pinned my hands back, I couldn't do anything, really, I really tried, but I couldn't-" She seemed almost ashamed, "Hewas just about to kiss me, and then he, he just stopped, I don't know why" she finished rather lamely.

"Don't worry Hermione, we'll get him" said Ron through gritted teeth, Harry silently nodded his agreement.

"please don't, you'll just get-"

"-No Hermione, he'll get what he deserves" Ron cut her off. Hermione noticed both boys throwing furtive looks at the Slytherin table.

"_shit" _she thought, _"why did I have to open my big fat mouth!"_

Hermione tried to eat breakfast, she couldn't. She felt like there was a lead weight in her stomach, caused undoubtedly by her forthcoming potions lesson with Snape…

Before she knew it the bell rang, signifying the start of lessons. She slowly made her way towards the dungeons with much trepidation. Her, Harry and Ron were first down there and she felt her legs turn to jelly as the door opened to reveal him, Severus Snape, her rapist.

A/N: on to the next chapie…

Ps: I apologise for any typo's mistakes etc, I've just got into work and haven't had time to properly proof, I decided an un-proofed chapter was better then none at all! Lol, x x x


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"_The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true" James Branch Cabell_

"In" he barked, without making eye contact. "Sit", every student, the others had now arrived, obliged, sitting down in neat rows silently.

"Now, all of you are here because _you _have _chosen _potions" This of course was true, but many, like Harry and Ron had only taken it because it was crucial for their chosen careers. "You are all also at outstanding or exceptional standard at owl level, this is why I will accept only the best from you." He threw a scathing look towards Harry. "Today, we will be concocting the _draught of peace_. This is an extremely complex potion, and you will need to concentrate your _full attention _on it. You will be working in pairs, one will prepare the animal aspects of the potion, the other the plants, it is important that these two elements are kept separate until the very last stage of the potion which we will not reach for several lessons, this is crucial. Do you all understand me?" The class nodded their assent. "Very well then, the instructions," he flicked his wand, "are on the board, and the ingredients, are in the store cupboard." He flicked his wand again and the door sprang open. "Begin"

The class moved almost instinctively into twos. Harry, Ron and Hermione were left as the only three, Draco Malfoy was alone, Crabbe and Goyle had not received the necessary results to take potions- big surprise.

Hermione felt Harry and Ron stiffen as they caught sight of Draco, (they had after all sworn vengeance just moments ago!) Hermione thought vengeance would be rather nice, but she _knew_ that potions with Snape was the worst possible lesson in which to exact it.

"I'll go" she said. She slowly got up, touched both of them on the shoulders and made her way over to Malfoy, receiving as she did shocked looks from Gryffindors and Slytherin alike.

"So Granger, warming to me already?" asked Malfoy in his usual drawling tone.

"Fuck off Malfoy" said Hermione through gritted teeth, although she said it with a sickeningly cheerful, utterly false, polite conversational air.

"Language Granger language, my my, we are in a bad mood this morning aren't we!"

"None of your business" she said as she started carefully to measure out her wolfs bane.

"opps! I seem to have knocked your ingredients off the desk, how clumsy of me" he smirked, "I'd offer to give you a hand, but I know you don't like physical contact. What's up with that any way Granger, never been kissed?" he laughed maliciously.

"Leave ma alone Malfoy" she growled, getting even more wound up,

"aww, is 'iccle goody goody Granger all upset?"

"**FUCK OFF MALFOY!"** she yelled, completely loosing her cool.

"Granger- Language" Shouted Snape, he didn't ask what had caused the outburst, the class was shocked that he didn't immediately give her a weeks worth of detentions, he simply walked over to their table. The class watched him avidly.

Hermione's cauldron was empty. There were no ingredients weighed out, and it appeared that she had done no work.

"Granger" he said flatly, making no eye contact, "What precisely have you been doing all lesson?"

" I… I… " she couldn't think of anything, her mind was blank, actually blank. Hearing his voice made her feel like she was back with the Death eaters, with him…

"Have you one no work all lesson Granger?" he asked incredulously. Hermione knew that he wouldn't believe her if she told him about Malfoy, well she knew that he wouldn't be able to act as though he believed her. He had to act normally in class, and the normal Professor Severus Snape, head of Slytherin house would never believe the word of a Gryffindor over that of his "Protégé" he would have to give her a detention, that was the normal action, Hermione knew she would have to be alone with him, she knew that there was no way out. If she told him abut Draco she would either be branded a liar, or he would believe her, his un-Snapeish behaviour would then attract attention, and the rumours would begin. She had to accept her fate, she nodded slowly, she had to accept-

"Detention. Tonight. Seven pm, here" Snape said bluntly, again avoiding eye contact with her. Then he walked away to examine the cauldron's of the other students, praising the Slytherin's work and criticising the Gryffindor's On the surface he looked every inch their usual calm calculating Potions professor, on the inside he was fighting a loosing battle against the panic that now sprang up. Tonight, at seven pm, he would have to be alone with her, the teenage girl, _his_ teenage _student_ who he had raped.

The bell rang signifying the end of the lesson, Harry Ron and Hermione left the room, all three of them glowering, they all felt anger towards Snape, but only Hermione felt anxious, and she wasn't going to let the boys see that! She was after all a Gryffindor.

"I hate Snape" said Ron as they sat down at the Gryffindor table for lunch.

"And Malfoy" Harry helpfully added

"What did he do to you to make you lose it like that 'Mione? He didn't try anything again did he?" Ron asked, becoming slightly redder, a sure indication he was winding up for violence of he received an affirmative answer from Hermione.

"No, just wound me up about stuff. You know, typical Malfoy shit really, It's just I didn't sleep very well last night and I'm in a bad mood any way, I'm jus having a bad day" she finished lamely.

"Don't worry about Malfoy Hermione, Ron and I will err…. be having … _words _with him"

'_Great_' thought Hermione, 'bloody _pissing fantastic! Just what I need, Harry and Ron duelling with Malfoy! Like I need any thing more to worry about without having to feel guilty if they get in trouble!' _

"Err 'mione, looks like your day's about to get wore" said Ron as McGonagall made her way determinedly across the hall towards Hermione.

"Miss Granger, a word please" Hermione nodded and got to her feet, '_what bloody now"_ she thought, but she already had a good idea what this would be about.

Don't look so worried Hermione, you're not in trouble. My office please dear" she said leading the girl towards her office. "Now, professor Snape has just come to see me, he said that your behaviour in class was appalling, though he suspected you may have been provoked by Mr. Malfoy. Firstly Hermione, I need to ask you was Malfoy involved in any way with the events over the summer?"

"No, not that one any way, Lucius was, he was the worst, him and McNair" She said, her eyes glazing over slightly. "I can still remember u know, I can tell you all their names, the Lestranges- when did they escape from Azkaban by the way? Crabbe Goyle, Avery, Pettigrew, not that it matters, It's not like the ministry would do anything about it" she said, snapping back to reality.

"thank you dear, that's all very helpful. You seem to be dealing with all this very well, but I think you should talk to professor Snape-"

"- No!" Hermione cut across her, "I_ have_ thought about it, and there really is nothing to say!"

"Hermione, he wants to apologise, he needs to apologise"

"I just don't want to talk about it with him"

"Well you have to spend three hours with him tonight, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you want Harry and Ron to go with you, we both know that Severus would be more then happy to give both of them uncalled for detentions, of if you like I could come with you?"

"No" said Hermione, "Thank you, but I'll have to face him sometime, I have to get back to normal, I'll go alone."

A/N: again sorry for any errors, I've not had time to proof properly, (I've barely had time to type the story, even though now, thanks to fanfiction not letting me log in, it's still two days late, I'm sorry but there was nothing I could do about it! )

Hey, thanks as usual to all you lovely reviewers:

**lee74, Mai Gamit** (he will, soon)**, creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover (he **he he, well, you'll have to keep waiting) **Darkraven-04 ( **I know, I really should write longer chapters, but at least I update often, this one was long by my standards, I hope it's enough to placate you, lol, **Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient(**soon, I promise you, soon!**), Rane2920072 (**it could be love!**) Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2 (**not yet, but be patient and all will be revealed!**), Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill (**well, there it was, hope it lived up to your expectations**), Sailor Hermy (**thank you**), facefood (**wow, thank you! **PeleAmelika**( I know I know, well although I think that Sirius is dead in the books, he will live on in fanfiction for ever, and I know that Fred and George left, and again, though I don't really expect them to go back to school in the books, I'm kind of hoping that Molly will make them now Umbridge has left, they still haven't done their NEWT's, so fingers crossed, sorry for the inconsistencies, but thanks anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying it!the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4(**I'm a fan of the semi redeemed Draco too!)


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"_When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." African Proverb_

Meanwhile, in Dumbledore's office…

"I won't do it. I _can't_, not after what he did to her, sorry Albus, but I just can't.

"Sirius, I have known you for very, very many years, and for just as long I have known of your enmity with Severus. I had hoped that you would be able to put that aside, Sirius, this mission is not only important to the order and Harry, but to _every living creature._"

"I understand the significance of the mission Albus, but why Snape? I'll admit I never _liked _him, but after what he did to Hermione, _I have no respect for him. I hate him. _And no matter how much you defend him Albus, he had a choice"

"I do not now deny, nor will I ever deny that Severus had a choice. He had the choice to save his pride and self respect, which believe me he has now lost, he had the choice to save himself a great amount of humiliation, and he had the choice to save Hermione a small amount of pain in the short term, but that would have jeopardized the order, both their lives, and possibly the life and freedom of us all if we were to lose Severus. He made his choice, and I believe, I hope, in his position you would have made the same choice. I hope you would have also made the same choice Severus made to go back for her. He could have left her there to die in agony and alone, after being tortured and raped until she lost her sanity. He made the choice to go back. I hope that you can see we all have to do unpleasant things we'd rather not for _the greater good Sirius_. _Please help me Sirius, help Harry, Help Hermione, help us all._ Honour James' sacrifice, you owe it to James and Lily to keep fighting and prevent the rise of Voldemort as they died trying to do. And if that means forgiving Severus Snape and burying the hatchet, then I'm afraid it's a small price, and one well worth paying." Dumbledore finished smiling gravely, but with a small hint of that sparkle back in his piercing blue eyes.

"You know I'll do it" said Sirius exasperated. Dumbledore smiled more widely. "Although why you had to bring James and Lily into it, I'll never know!" Sirius too was now smiling. "So, what exactly does this mission involve?" he asked.

"Well" said Dumbledore …

A/N:

Well, there you are, Sirius being forced to look at things from Snape's point of view, but will it have had an impact? Just to warn you; **THE MISSION IS OF NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THIS STORY** (yet, I may decide to bring it in as a very cunning plot device, muhahahahah! It was just the easiest way of getting Sirius to put himself in Snape's shoes! I don't even know what the mission is, so don't bother asking me, make one up in your head, your imagination is probably better then mine anyway!) lol, onto the next chapter, and detention! X x x x X


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"_Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him." Martin Luther King, Jr.  
_

Herbology flew by, as did dinner in the great hall. Hermione felt sick, she was so nervous that her hands were shaking as she sat down to a meal that felt like her last. Before she knew it, it was 6:48pm, and she was bidding goodnight to Harry and Ron, before she slowly made her way down to the cold dark dungeons. Harry and Ron had said they were going to do homework back in the common room, but Hermione suspected they would be having _words _with a certain Malfoy. The way they had reacted when she told them about Draco _trying_ to kiss her had confirmed just how right she had been not to tell them about the actions of his father and the other Death eaters over the summer. She didn't want to think what they would do (and more importantly have done to them) if they ever found out, but she was sure it would involve life threatening risks to both them and the death eaters. She shuddered, partly because of the cold, but mainly because her thoughts had drifted to the death eaters. Hermione mentally shook herself, '_Stop it, it's in the past, they can't hurt you any more, get a grip!'_ she scolded herself as she gritted her teeth and tentatively knocked on the dark wood door.

The door opened slowly, revealing the face that so often haunted her nightmares. Severus Snape stood before her, feeling just as nervous as she was.

"Good evening Miss Granger" he sad, his voice did not drip with its' usual sarcasm. "Please come in" he said, gesturing to the lab behind him. After he closed the door, he turned around,

"Hermione, we need to -"

But Hermione cut across him,

"What will I be doing professor?" she asked, busying herself ruffling through her bag and avoiding eye contact.

Snape, as unperceptive as he was when it came to women, picked p on the signals she was sending, she didn't want to talk or listen to him. He reminded himself that he had no right to expect her to talk to him, she had every right to ignore him, to hate him, to loath him after what he had done to her.

"You will be completing your half of the potion" he said bluntly, "The ingredients" he flicked his wand "are in the cup board, and I trust you have no need of the instructions?" She nodded, and he busied himself with his marking. Hermione tried to work on the potion, this was proving however to be extremely difficult, she was alone with a man who had raped her and she was in a dungeon room that reminded her forcibly of the cell where she had been held. She tried to concentrate on slicing her dragon's liver, she couldn't. She felt her mind wandering, wandering back to that night, her parent's murder, Lucius stunning her, and waking in that carriage, and what happened next. Had she been in possession of her senses, she would have felt a single tear role down her check, she would have heard the potions master call her name, sadly, Hermione was not in possession of her senses, and that fact begun a devastating turn of events…

"Miss Granger? Miss granger, are you alright?" Snape questioned as he saw the candle light reflected from the single silver tear that rolled down her cheek. He rose from his seat. "Hermione, Hermione? What's wrong?" her eyes were glazed over, it was as if she were some where else, Severus could guess where, he knew immediately that she shouldn't be there, he had to get her back. He waved a hand in front of her face, no reaction. He tapped her on the shoulder.

Hermione snapped back to reality, she was alone in the dungeon, with Snape, he had is hand on her shoulder- she realised with a jolt. She couldn't do it, she was so angry, so upset, she had to bottle it all up for every one else's sake, but she couldn't do it anymore, Snape had pushed her too far, over the edge.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU BASTARD!" her screams reverberating around the stone walls. "How dare you touch me! How dare you even look at me, how dare you even speak to me!" She yelled through the now flowing tears.

Hermione, I'm sorry, I had no choice, I had to-"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" she yelled, cutting him off. "You raped me, and then you left me with them" She crumpled to the ground, her tears now turning into hysterical sobs. Her anger was gone, replaced once again by her logic, leaving only a scared, hurt little girl, completely forgetting her composure and emotional front. "You left me" She breathed, "I knew you would have to rape me, but I was still pleased you were there. You don't know, you _can not_ know what it was like professor. Lucius Malfoy and McNair in that carriage, I thought I was dead, and then when Voldemort came, I _knew_ I was dead. I knew I was consigned to hell when he told them to "teach me a lesson", but then I heard your name, and I hoped, you gave me hope. She looked up with bright tearful brown eyes, piercing into his soul. "But then you raped me, I knew you had no choice, but when I heard you leave, my hope went with you. You left me professor, you left me for nine days. I would have been easier if you were there, if I'd of known that at least one of them didn't think me mudblood scum. If I had known that someone there hadn't enjoyed causing me pain, but you left me professor. Why?" she asked.

I have no excuse." Said Snape, feeling even more guilty then he had ten minutes ago. "Only my own cowardice is to blame Hermione. I could not stand by and listen to your screams, powerless to do anything. So I left and started working on how to get you out of there. I will never forgive myself for what I did to you Hermione, and I don't even ask for your forgiveness, but please, pleas know that I got no pleasure from what I did and I would do anything to take it back, but I can't and I am truly sorry Hermione, truly."

"You have nothing to be sorry for" Said Hermione, her voice shaking, "It wasn't your choice" she said quietly. "But how could they? What possible pleasure could they get from doing what they did to me? How can they go back to wives and children after what they did to me?" She questioned, her voice rising steadily, "How could you rape me and then carry on as normal? How can you look me in the eye?" she questioned Snape, had one not heard their previous conversation, one may have very easily got the impression that Snape had raped Hermione of his own free will. Unfortunately, Draco Malfoy had been passing the potions lab on his way to the common room and had heard her questioning Snape, and he had got the wrong impression…

A/N:

Well thank you all very very much! **lee74, Mai Gamit** anything is possible! He he he lol,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover (he **he he, well, you'll have to keep waiting) **Darkraven-04 (**anything is possible! He he he lol, **Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient(**not for a while yet, over the next five/ten chapters it becomes more pronounced, but this is going to be a long term relationship, and I love subtlety!**), Rane2920072 (**now that would be telling, lol!**) Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2 (**not yet, but be patient and all will be revealed!**), Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill (**well, there it was, hope it lived up to your expectations**), Sailor Hermy (**because I really really wanted them too, and plus Harry says something along the lines of he found potions a lot easier without Snape breathing down his neck, and they did revise for it, lol, **), facefood (**wow, thank you! **PeleAmelika, muggle mom(**sorry, my fault I've not explained it very well, Snape brewed a very strong concealment potion to coat the portkey in, one which made it undetectable, he still raped her, he had to in order to get the portkey to her, and he didn't get caught because of the big disturbance in the corridor, he ran out to "see what was going on" (he'd planned the diversion so knew exactly), and when he got back she was gone, the death eaters didn't think to blame him. The concealment charm that Hermione uses on her injuries is just a straight forward (if there is such a thing) charm, hope that answers you question!**), Nerdy Sunny (**Snape didn't want to give her the detention, he had to, otherwise students would've known something was up, he doesn't want to be anywhere near her- he's too ashamed, but like the rape, this is something in which he had no choice!**) Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx **the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4 (**ahh, what a tangled web they weave, I learn from the best, (your stories!). Again, I apologise for any errors, this has not been properly proofed! X x x Fiona x x X


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"_We do not err because truth is difficult to see. It is visible at a glance. We err because this is more comfortable." Alexander Solzhenitsyn  
_

**CRASH! **The door flew open, revealing an irate Draco Malfoy,

"**Get away from her!**" he yelled,

"Draco, please, it's not what you think" Snape pleaded

"You bastard! You raped a _fifteen year old girl- your pupil for God's sake!"_

_"You don't understand, please, listen to me"_

_"_**NO!**" Draco yelled, "I always respected you professor, how could you do this to her you sick bastard?" Draco crossed the room to Hermione, Snape had backed away from her when Draco had entered.

"You okay?" he asked,

"I'm fine, Malfoy, listen, you've got the wrong idea. Please just listen" begged Hermione.

"Don't be scared of him, you said it yourself, he raped you, the bastard raped you!"

"I don't need reminding of that fact!" spat Hermione, her voice becoming louder and higher in pitch. Draco just wouldn't listen to her, he wouldn't give Snape a chance to explain and urgh! He just had the wrong idea about everything! "**He's not the bastard, your father is!" **She yelled, losing, for the second time that night, all her composure. "He (she gestured to Snape) didn't _want _to do it, _he_ had no choice, and _he got no enjoyment from it! **He is not like your father!" **_she focused all of her remaining anger on Malfoy. She wanted to hurt the Malfoys as much as she possibly could, and Draco happened to be the only one she could get to at that moment in time. Draco's jaw dropped. He knew his father was a death eater, and he knew that meant indulging in muggle torture, but raping a fifteen year old school girl? What was the honour, the glory, the gratification from that? No, even his father was incapable of that!

"I don't believe you" Draco said quietly,

"It was his bloody idea!" she yelled "He was the first, he was the most brutal, and _he_ got the most enjoyment from it! Your father is a monster" Hermione practically screamed those last five words, before she collapsed into uncontrollable sobs.

"I… I'm sorry" was all Draco could muster, before he turned and ran from the dungeon, he needed fresh air. His entire body was shaking from shock, and anger and shame at his father cursed through his veins.

"Hermione, are you all right?" Snape asked, in a voice so full of real concern, that an hour earlier would have made Hermione thing he was a pod person. Hermione was not all right, all of the emotion she had bottled up since that night was suddenly bubbling too close to the surface. She'd got rid of all her anger, and again was left with tears. Tears that she knew she shouldn't be crying even now, but she let them flow, if this was the one occasion when she could let her guards down, she would cry to her hearts content. She lay in a crumpled heap on the potions lab floor, and as her potions master put a comforting arm around her, for the first time in weeks she did not flinch at the touch of another…

A/N, short by even my standards, but the next ones slightly longer and it still adds up to 1000 words (I'm kind of starting to have a life, lol, and I'm getting really really busy!) so, on we go…


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"_It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help." Epicurus_

They remained like that for a long while, Hermione's sobs loudly echoing from the damp stone walls. So loudly in fact that neither of them heard the rapidly approaching footsteps, nor did they hear the footsteps stop briefly outside the dungeon door, before it burst open for the second time that night.

Sirius Black stood, framed impressively by the doorway, his onyx eyes burning brightly with fury, his wand raised, ready for combat.

"**Get off her Snape**" said Sirius through gritted teeth, "**Now**"

"Sirius" said Snape calmly, "There is no need for your wad, please, calm down"

"**CALM DOWN! Calm down? You are found alone, in the middle of the night in a secluded place with your arms wrapped around a crying student, who you've already RAPED _TWICE_! And I'm supposed to be CALM?**"

"It's _nothing _like that! We talked it all over, she knows-_as do you_- that I had no choice in what I did! She was upset, I was comforting her, _that's all_, ask her yourself!"

"You've probably scared her shitless, bringing her down her, reminding her of what happened! **Let go of her now!**" He roared, Snape made as to move away from Hermione, but she tightly grasped his arm;

"Don't leave me again" she whispered, slightly delusional from all of the stress and sheer emotional strain that she had been put through mentally and physically.

"**GET AWAY NOW SNIVELLUS!"** again, Snape tried to remove his hand this time he was successful, but the effort involved in pulling his hand from hers was sufficient to cause him to fall backwards when there was no longer a hand to pull against. He fell just as the word

"Crucio" had escaped Sirius' lips, striking where Snape would have stood, in front of Hermione, where Hermione now crouched, writhing in agony.

Her screams echoed through the dungeon, magnified greatly as they reverberated off the surrounding walls, pouring into Sirius' ears. He couldn't take it, he dropped his wand, he was in shock. How could he have done this? How could he hurt her, he never wanted to hurt her! She was so kind, so thoughtful, so pure, so innocent, so beautiful, and he, Sirius Black had hurt her.

x x x x x x

"Finite Incantortem" Snape muttered, having drawn his wand in one of those infernal eternal seconds, ending the Crucious curse and Hermione's screams. The effects of the curse were not lessened by her brief exposure to it. When the spell hit her, her entire body had gone into convulsions, she felt as if hot knives were piercing every inch of her, pain that she had previously experienced only while in the hands of the death eaters. As if on cue, her memory had instantly transported her back again to that horrendous place, that cold dark cell, where she had been raped and tortured. The place where she had felt the most pain, and the least hope she ever had in her life. The sound of her own screams filling her ears, penetrating her mind as they had on the other horrible occasions.

And then it stopped. The pain was gone, all she could feel was emptiness, in face she couldn't really feel anything, all she could see was darkness. Hermione Granger had for once been granted the sweet release of unconsciousness.

A/N: Yet again I apologise for may poor proofing, I'm really tired, we went on a school trip to Howarth (home of the Bronte sisters) and I've had little sleep, and done A LOT of walking, so sorry, but my proofing is going to be very poor! Thank you to you lovely reviewers, you have no idea the thrill I get on a Monday morning when I get review alerts, yey! So thank you to:

**lee74, Mai Gamit(**I may very well have to use that idea!muhahahahah!,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072(**he's in there now, lol)**, Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **The1silversurfer**, the lovely **hannahslattery **and the wonderful(and ridiculously talented)** Kyra4**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21l

"_He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster." Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil_

"Malfoy!" yelled Ron, catching sight of that platinum blond hair as Malfoy made his way to the owlery. He had had every intention of owling his mother and informing her of his father's actions. He was beyond pissed off, all these years he had idolized his father, and now, now he glimpsed what his father really was; a sadistic bastard, a slave to the Dark lord, a rapist. That was what Draco couldn't get his head round, the fact that Hermione Granger, his class mate, his rival, and in a twisted kind of way his idol had been _raped_ by his father! Draco was wrenched from his musings as his name was being shouted, by one of the people he least wanted to see, Weasley, _her _best friend, accompanied by none other then the precious bloody Potter. Draco was angry, and he was wiling to take his anger out on anything, or anyone, and he took advantage of having two of his "enemies" close at hand.

"What Weasel?" he asked shortly. Harry and Ron by this point had caught up to him, both were at least two inches taller then him, and both squared up to him.

"We want to talk to you" said Harry menacingly, cringing forcibly at how like Goyle he sounded.

"Well I don't want to talk to you Potter, so please, take your poverty stricken friend and your filthy little self out of my way!" said Draco in an even more scathing tone then was usual.

"I think not Malfoy!" Said Ron, his ears growing red at being called "poverty stricken". "We want you to listen then!" he finished. Somehow, by this point Harry and Ron both had their wands drawn and were pointing them steadily at Draco's chest.

"**If you EVER come near Hermione again, I swear" **yelled Harry, spitting out every syllable, "**I WILL kill you!**"

"Oh how touching, you and weasel boy protecting the little mu- know it all" Draco may have been angry and proud enough to face two sixteen year old and highly skilled wizards, but he wasn't stupid, he wasn't about to cal their best friend a mudblood, especially not in this situation.

"What's wrong with protecting our friend?" questioned Ron.

"Nothing, only you don't seem to be doing a very good job of it" Draco was gaining confidence, perhaps because he too was now clutching his wand tightly, aimed at the heart of each boy alternatively.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" said Harry, stepping closer still to Malfoy.

"Well, if it was _my_ friend who'd been captured and raped by the deatheaters _I_ would have protected them then, rather then for some stupid _attempted _kiss, but obviously you disagree" He smiled as he cast his eyes over stunned faces of his "enemies".

"What?" said Ron, in barely more then a whisper, his wand now dangling limply at his side.

"Oh, didn't you know? They probably thought it too distressing for those delicate ears of yours!"

"When?" Harry asked, his voice remarkably calm

"In the summer, when her parents were killed"

"How long?" asked Harry, again, the calm in his voice really was quite astonishing.

"For nine days as I understand it" said Draco scathingly, he was now letting his anger begin to show, he was angry at Harry and Ron's ignorance, if they had known, if they had saved her, then his father wouldn't have had chance to do what he had done, he wouldn't have been the rapist of one of Draco' classmates, but they were ignorant. "Nine days of sheer hell. Rape, torture and interrogation with Voldemort and his Death eaters. Nine days of her being alone, with out you being "protective" over her" he spat.

"We, we didn't know, what could we have done/" yelled Ron, becoming nearly as angry as Draco.

"Who?" questioned Harry before Draco could even begin to answer Ron.

"My father" although Draco was ashamed, he wanted to hurt his father as much as he could right now, and the best way to hurt a Malfoy was to hurt the Malfoy name, by bringing allegations of child abuse against his father, Draco hoped to do this. "Crabbe, Goyle… senior!" he added, seeing the look on both Harry and Ron's faces. "McNair, and I think the Lestrange brothers, some others as well, but they're the only ones I know of" He had not included Snape in his list, partially out of respect for Hermione, she had forgiven Snape and Snape obviously regretted what he had done, but also because he himself admired Snape too much to admit that he could possibly derive any pleasure from raping a fifteen year old girl. Snape did not deserve the shame that open knowledge of the "rape" would bring him. "Good night" said Draco as he left a speechless pair of Gryffindors and made his way towards the Slytherin common room.

Harry and Ron headed back to their own common room, and waited for Hermione to return.


	22. Chpater 22

Chapter 22

"_Take hope from the heart of man and you make him a beast of prey". Ouida  
_

Snape marched up the rotating circular staircase that led to Dumbledore's office, he had every reason to want to get there quickly. He had been found in a very compromising position, and by none other then his old rival.

He raised his hand and knocked deliberately on the office door. When there was no reply he opened the door tentatively, as he did so, he realized that the headmaster was not asleep as he had thought,

"Good evening Severus" said the old man, his face grave.

"Head master?" questioned Severus, he was not accustomed to seeing Dumbledore like this.

"'tis nothing Severus, I was just using the pensive, bad memories…" his voice trailed off. Then he looked up, the usual twinkle back in his eye, but still a hint of sadness remained. "'tis in the past, on to the present, what brings you here at this late hour?"

"Miss Granger" said Snape bluntly.

"Ah, I thought as much, Minerva told me of, oh how did she put it... ah yes, your completely unreasonable and uncalled for detention with Miss Granger, what is it?"

"Black. Hermione got upset, quite understandably. We talked about… what happened, I apologized and she, she understood, she said she had nothing to forgive me for, everything was fine, and then Malfoy came in shouting the odds, he had heard some of our conversation and got the wrong idea. Hermione got upset again, she shouted at him, and I mean _really _tore a strip off him, well, more off his father really. Hermione was crying again, I couldn't leave her, I put my arm around her and she just… curled into me I suppose but she carried on crying. But I swear Albus, I did _nothing_ to make her cry. Anyway, Black came down, I presume to discuss the mission, he hard her crying and got the wrong idea. I understand how it must have looked- me in my dungeon with my arms wrapped around a crying student, I mean who wouldn't jump to conclusions? Sirius was so angry- he had his wand out, he sent a crucious curse at me, only I moved and it hit Hermione. She passed out, Sirius went ballistic, she's at the hospital wing now, I came straight here. Black still thinks I was trying to harm her" Snape said, all very quickly. Dumbledore listened carefully, he looked pensive and twiddled his thumbs patiently. When Snape had finished, Dumbledore said,

"I am sorry to have to ask you to do this Severus, but I think you must take Vertitesium in front of Sirius and Miss Granger, you will need to prove to them that your intentions are good. If, like you say, Hermione has already forgiven you then I doubt she will need much convincing, after all, she is a very reasonable and intelligent young woman." Dumbledore added smiling slightly. Snape was a little shocked, it was the first time he had heard, or been made to think of Hermione as a "young woman". She had always been a girl, his student, a Gryffindor know it all, and to hear Dumbledore refer to her as such gave Snape the feeling that he was being prepared for the next little surprise, and sure enough, he was.

**A/N:** he he he! It wasn't actually meant to end there, but I'm tired and I thought I'd leave you all with a cliff hanger (and by the way, just in case any ones getting suspicious, Snape doesn't like Hermione, lol).

Now, I am issuing a **formal plea for a beta reader**, one is (as you may have guessed by the numerous errors in the last few chapters) desperately needed! Not to complain, but this story now seems to be a solo effort and it's making things a lot more difficult. Please please please consider bettering for me, you'll get the updates before everyone else, and I'll praise the pants off you in my A/N's!

Any way, on with the thank you's. I now have over 100 reviews, so am very very happy. A massive thanks and a very merry Christmas (or happy holiday) to:

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **The1silversurfer,** **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Stargazer starluver, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, hannahslattery, and Kyra4**

Thank you,

x x x Fiona x x x


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"_No man thoroughly understands a truth until he has contended against it."_ Ralph Waldo Emerson

_(Because I cut the chapter in half, I thought a little flash back would be appropriate:)_

_Snape was a little shocked, it was the first time he had heard, or been made to think of Hermione as a "young woman". She had always been a girl, his student, a Gryffindor know it all, and to hear Dumbledore refer to her as such gave Snape the feeling that he was being prepared for the next little surprise, and sure enough, he was. _

_(and on with the story!)_

"Sirius However will take more convincing. Love is often blind to reason or sense, and I suspect Sirius may prefer to be blind to the truth in Hermione's case. He won't admit it yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that those two are destined for each other" Dumbledore concluded with an almost snug grin, leaving a stunned Severus Snape.

"WHAT?" he stammered , finally collecting his thoughts. "You mean to tell me that Sirius Black and Hermione Granger are, _together?" _He questioned incredulously.

"No" said Dumbledore calmly "Only that they will be soon enough, if, of course, my suspicions are true" he added with a grin.

"But, but he's old enough to be her father for Merlin's sake! How can you allow this to happen?"

"I have no say in the matters of the heart Severus, no man does, what will be will be. You should get protective more often Severus, adds a new depth to your character" Dumbledore positively chortled at this remark.

"You know I have no choice thanks to your bloody _Parente Vitae_ scheme, I'm stuck with it"

"Ah yes, rather amusing that you should get Miss Granger of all Students, but alas, the sorting hat knows best. I must say it was one of my more brilliant ideas, the living guardian scheme…" Dumbledore trailed off, Snape bid him good night and left the headmaster alone with his musings.

It had been along nigh for Snape, but he had the feeling that it was no where near over. He slowly made his way down do the dungeons before winding his way up to the hospital wing, hoping that Hermione would be awake, and that neither her nor Sirius would need much convincing…

**X X X X X **

"**POPPY!**" yelled Sirius as he burst through the hospital wing doors. "**POPPY!**" he yelled again, loosing the little of his patience that remained as he deposited Hermione on one of the many unoccupied beds. He knew it was wrong, but even now, as he placed her in a hospital bed, a bed that he had caused her to be in, he didn't want to let her go. It had felt so good, so right when he had carried her in his arms, all the guilt, the resentment, the self hatred gone, he didn't know how or why she could make him feel like that, but he did know that only she could, and he didn't want to let her go. When she found out what he'd done he doubted that she'd ever let him hold her again, and then it hit him, Hermione had not _let_ him hold her, it had been necessity rather then choice, even now as she lay there, she had no idea what he had felt when she was in his arms, and Sirius hated to think how she would react if she did know! What would she think of him, a dirty old man, worse a dirty old man who used an unforgivable on her.

"Oh merciful Heavens!" cried Madame Pomfrey wrenching Sirius from his thoughts. He had obviously woken her, her hair was out of place and her robes had been thrown on rather haphazardly, but the shock of seeing Hermione sprawled unconscious on the bed had brought her back to full alertness, as she was forcibly reminded of the state the girl had been in over the summer. "What happened?"

"Dungeons- with Snape, had his arms 'round her, she was crying, I did the Crucius curse, the bastard moved and it hit her, she fainted and I brought her here." Said Sirius, wanting to explain the situation as quickly as he could-

"Enervate" whispered Madame Pomfrey, after pouring a foul smelling bubbling brown potion down Hermione's neck. Hermione stirred,

"What happened?" she croaked, her voice horse from her screams.

"Shush dear, you just got in the way of a bad spell, go back to sleep, you'll need your rest" said Madame Pomfrey quietly brushing the soft brown curls from Hermione's pale forehead.

After making sure Hermione was asleep, Pomfrey beckoned Sirius to her office, he followed obligingly despite the part of him that hated leaving Hermione's side, another part dreading the berating that he knew lay ahead of him in Poppy's office.

"Silencio" Pomfrey said as she closed the door behind them. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? AN UNFORGIVABLE ON A CHILD? _I don't care who it was aimed at!_" She interrupted his protests. "I know you dislike Severus, but really, he would never do anything to _willingly_ hurt Hermione, you know that as well as I do!"

"I don't _know_ anything anymore! This business with Voldemort and Harry, I had enough trying to keep him safe, but now Hermione too? I don't want any of them to get hurt, I just want to protect them Poppy. I mean she's so innocent Poppy, she's been hurt enough." There was a soft knock at the office door.

"Finite Incantortem" murmured Madame Pomfrey, "Who is it?" she said.

"Poppy, it's Severus, is Sirius there? I need to talk to him" a cold, almost anxious voice said.

"Yes. He's here" said Poppy unbolting the door.

"What do you want?" growled Sirius

"To prove my innocence" said Snape, pulling a little phial from pockets of his voluminous robes. "Poppy, will you please wake Hermione, I feel she has a right to hear this" Madame Pomfrey bustled over to Hermione's bed and woke her gently.

"What's going on?" Demanded the unsteady voice of a confused Hermione. "I remember being in Snape's dungeon, but now, my minds just gone blank" she said pressing her palms to her eyelids, trying to force herself to remember.

"You were in the dungeon downstairs doing a detention, I came in, you were crying, Snape had his arms around you, I sent a Crucio curse at Snape, but he moved, and it hit you. I'm sorry Hermione, you know I'd never willingly hurt you. If it hadn't been for this coward moving, or better still if the bastard hadn't tried to rape you again!" Sirius positively spat these words.

"WHAT?" Hermione gasped through her shock.

"That is _not_ what happened Miss Granger. Yes we were in the dungeons, we talked about the summer's events, and you got upset. Mr Malfoy, Draco" he added, seeing the petrified look on Hermione's face "came in and began shouting the odds, e got totally the wrong idea, you set him straight and, well, defended me (Snape blushed) but when he left you were really upset again, I put my arm around you to comfort you, you were crying and Sirius came in. He sent a poorly aimed Crucio at me. It hit you, and here we are." He now looked round to Sirius, "That is what happened and I will swear it under Vertisium" he concluded.

"Go on then" growled Sirius, Snape smiled smugly, and then downed the phial, trying very hard to look as if he wasn't swallowing something that tasted like rancid fish liver, Hermione again asked him what had happened., and again, he told her his story. This was enough proof for Hermione, it had just been a misunderstanding, neither man had meant to harm her and she would be fine in a day or two. Sadly, Sirius did not see it like this…

A/N: thanks to all you wonderful reviewers, you will be getting another update before xmas, but at the moment my boss and school are being really really evil and I simply haven't got time to do another chapter today, but maybe tomorrow! Anyway, thank you all, x x x Fiona x x x


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"_Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary_"_. Mark Twain_

"_The bastard!_" thought Sirius, as he stared at Hermione's sleeping form, her brown curls fanning out to frame her beautiful face. A gentle furrow in her forehead and her slightly pouted lips reflected a troubled mind. What he wouldn't give for just one kiss from those lips… Shit. It hit him. He had a crush, a crush on a sixteen year old girl, and not just any sixteen year old girl, but his godson's best friend, _shit_. This wasn't right.

_Stop it, stop it now! She's sixteen Sirius, don't even go there!_ the little voice in his mind berated him, but it didn't stop him liking her, it didn't stop him thinking how beautiful she was, it didn't stop him wanting to have her as _his_; no matter how much he didn't _want_ to want her, he did, he couldn't control it, but he would do his hardest to suppress it. After all, it was just infatuation, a little crush, she was gorgeous and intelligent and kind and, _stop_- it was little wonder that he had fallen for her, he would suppress it, fight it off, it wasn't like it was love, he didn't _love_ her, _did he?_

No, the very idea was preposterous, Sirius Black didn't fall in love, especially not with teenage girls, thank you very much! She _was_ attractive and he felt possessive over her because of the protective duty that he felt, that was _all_, he was sure of it. It was this possessiveness that made it all ten times worse, the fact that Snivellus greasy git Snape had raped her, the fact that he'd had her all alone in the dungeons with him and had tried to do it _again_- "no, he didn't, he swore it under Veritiserum he didn't," Sirius had to remind himself as he became angry once again. Then it struck him; _who makes the Veritiserum?_ Snape! So how could they be sure that it wasn't fake Veritiserum that Snape had used? He'd given fake Veritiserum to Umbridge last year to use on Harry, how could they be sure he had used real Veritiserum now?

"_That Bastard!_"

X X X X X

Ten minutes later, there was a loud bang on the heavy dungeon door, which was followed by even louder bangs and _a lot_ of shouting.

"SNAPE!" yelled Sirius, "SNAPE! GET UP YOU BASTARD!"

The sleepy and some what dishevelled form of Severus Snape filled the now open doorway. "What?" he said croakily; it was obvious he had been asleep and was now very confused as to why Black should be pounding on his door in the middle of the night, calling him a bastard.

"WAS THAT FAKE VERTISIUM?!"

It took Snape a minute to understand what the hell Sirius was on about, but when he did, Severus could barely believe the allegation that was being brought against him. Still, he concealed it well and replied acidly, "no, unlike you, Black, I have no reasons to lie, and certainly not about my feelings toward a certain sixteen year old girl!"

"Just what are you insinuating, you filthy little death eater?" snarled Sirius.

"What do you _think_ I'm insinuating Black?" Snape questioned sarcastically, before adding, "you must be the only _adult_ in Hogwarts who doesn't already know you have feelings for Miss Granger!" Despite his calm and taunting voice, inside he was fuming. Sirius could be so, so _stupid_ if he believed the unbelievable- that Snape would _want_ to rape Hermione, and yet refused to see the blindingly obvious- that _he_ was attracted to her! (Of course, Snape had quickly and conveniently forgotten that this "blindingly obvious" fact had needed to be pointed out to him by Dumbledore, but still.)

Sirius was stunned. For one of the few times in his life, he was actually rendered speechless. Could Snape be telling the truth? How did Snape know what he felt? Did they all know? No, they couldn't know, could they? And anyway, there was nothing to know, right? He _wasn't _attracted to her in _that_ way. Sure, she was beautiful and intelligent and _those eyes_- he couldn't look at _those eyes_ for fear that he would never be able to look away, but that did not mean that he was _attracted _to her! And anyway, even if he did like her, it wasn't as if he would _ever_act on it. No. He wouldn't.

Never.

"Well, even if I did have feelings for her -which I don't- at least _I_ haven't acted on those feelings," spat Sirius, glaring accusingly at Snape.

"Are you implying that I enjoyed what I did to her?" replied Snape, in a quiet, shocked, and almost hurt voice.

"Why else would you do it _twice_ and try a third time?" yelled Sirius.

Although Snape had not yet forgiven himself for what had happened, there was no way that he was going to stand there and let Black tell him that he _enjoyed_ raping a fifteen year old girl.

"Don't you dare. You would have done the same in my shoes, Black! The first time I had no choice; I went back again because it was the _only_ way to rescue her- that accounts for the second, and as for the third –THAT DOESN'T EXIST! The quicker you get that through that thick Gryffindor skull of yours the better off we'll _all_ be, Hermione included!"

"Tomorrow we'll take this to Dumbledore!" growled Sirius in frustration.

"See you there!" And with that, the door slammed shut and Sirius headed back to his room, as Snape did the same. They would meet again in the morning.

**A/N: **Thank you all very much for being so patient, and a **massive** thank you to all of you who so kindly offered to be my beta reader. Thanks to you lovely reviewers (you know who you are, but still…)

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ** **Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **The1silversurfer,** **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Stargazer starluver, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, hannahslattery, and Kyra4 (**who incidentally betted this story, A HUGE THANKS TO HER!)

and Finally, **MERRY CHRISTMASS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"_Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it"._ Vincent Van Gogh, 1889

Harry and Ron had sat all night in the common room waiting for Hermione so that they could confront her about the details of her summer. At around half past three an ashen faced Sirius had stumbled through the portrait hole, rousing a puffy eyed Harry and Ron, who insisted that they were waiting for Hermione and of course "were just resting their eyes"

"She wont be coming back tonight, she's in the hospital wing, she-"

"She's where? What's she doing in the hospital wing? If Snape bloody poisoned her, I swear!" Ron interjected.

"No, Snape didn't hurt her, _this time_" Sirius added in an undertone. "It was, it was me, I accidentally hit her with a Crucio curse" His voice was barely audible. Neither of the boys reacted as he expected they would, he thought they would rant and rave, yell at him for hurting this wonderful creature, instead, Harry merely asked

"Who was it meant for and what did they do to deserve it?"

Sirius was thankful Harry had known instantly that the spell would have been justified (or at least as justifiable as an unforgivable can be), and that it wouldn't have been aimed at Hermione.

"Snape. I thought he was hurting Hermione, turns out he wasn't. She forgave him, _she actually forgave him_, how could she, after what that bastard did to her?"

"What did she have to forgive him Sirius?" Ron asked, his suspicion clearly evident in his falsely calm, and almost patronising voice.

"_Shit, oh for God's sake! Why the hell couldn't I keep my stupid mouth shut? Harry and Ron are going to know, Hermione's going to kill me, not before Snape does though, and Harry and Ron are probably going to go off and get themselves killed trying to exact some form of revenge. Shit." _Sirius thought.Yes, shit actually summarised his situation perfectly. "Nothing" he lied, "Private matter, any way, Hermione's safe and well. You two should really get to bed, night boys" he said very quickly, before giving a loud (and very false) yawn and striding over to the portrait hole. He was about to reach it when he felt two strong pairs of hands grip him squarely round the shoulders and force him into a nearby armchair.

"Out with it" two voices chorused

"No. Not my story to tell" said Sirius defiantly- Harry stared at his Godfather, giving him a shrewd and calculating look, Harry was an intelligent boy and he had quickly drawn his own conclusions.

"Does this have something to do with what happened to Hermione in the summer, after her parents were killed?" Harry thought it good of Sirius to respect Hermione's wish not to tell them about the (gulp) rape, but it was obvious that Sirius knew about it, still, Harry thought it best to make it painfully clear that they knew about what happened... Sirius looked stunned.

"How did you know?" he crooked

"That's not important now, but-"

Ron cut across him, comprehension and anger dawning on him one after the other.

"DID THAT BASTARD RAPE HER?" Ron yelled at the top of his voice (it was a good job Harry had placed a silencing charm on the common room earlier, he had a feeling that he and Ron might get rather noise when plotting revenge against the death eaters who had raped their friend- he had not been wrong). As soon as Ron had said this, possibly even before, Harry also believed that their potions professor had been involved in the rape (and possibly torture) of their best friend. Sirius now had the extremely difficult task of convincing two enraged, highly protective and very stubborn teenage boys of something that he himself did not entirely believe.

"It wasn't his fault" Sirius said, trying desperately to sound convincing. "He had no choice, he was there when she was brought in, he tried to excuse himself but the death eaters wouldn't have it, if he had refused he would have been exposed as a spy and killed, he would have put Hermione in greater danger. He went back and saved her, without him, she'd be dead, no question about it. Hermione has forgiven him, she's trying to put it behind her, and if you two really care about her you'll damn well let her! She doesn't want you to know about this, _any of this_, don't go making things worse for her then they already are!" He concluded, he thought he'd sounded pretty convincing and apparently so did Harry and Ron as neither asked any more questions.

Sirius sent the boys to bed and headed for his own, it had been a very, very long night.

**A/N:** and on to the next chapter, HAPPY NEW YEAR by the way, x x x Fiona x x x


	26. CHapter 26

Chapter 26

"_Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it." _Haim Ginott

Reluctantly Severus Snape ascended the circular staircase to Dumbledore's office, he knew what was going to happen at today's "meeting"; Sirius would again accuse him _enjoying _raping Hermione, say he was unfit to be her _parente vitae_. He would then defend him self, Dumbledore would interfere and try to calm the situation, then both he and Sirius would resort to their usual adolescent jibes.

And sure enough Snape's suspicions were confirmed when he heard the, ah, _dulcet_ tones of Sirius' yells drifting through the heavy oak doors;

"No Dumbledore! I **will not** accept it! We have** no** proof, can you really trust a Death eater to tell the truth, under vertisium _he_ made? He's not fit to be her guardian- I mean it- Hermione would be much happier with me as her guardian, she knows me better and in the holidays she could come and stay with me and Harry, I mean even if he hadn't raped her, can you honestly see him and Hermione getting on? And I don't trust him Albus, I know, I know, _he's reformed_, but-"

"Sirius my decision has been made, I'm not changing my mind on this, although, I suppose it wasn't even my decision in the first place, the sorting hat chose Snape for Hermione and the sorting hat is very rarely wrong. Yes, we were all shocked at the time, but I'm sure there is a reason for it."

Dumbledore remembered very well how shocked all of the staff and order members had been when Snape came out as Hermione's guardian. Dumbledore had first had the idea of the _parente vitae_ scheme when Harry had returned from his meeting with Voldemort in his first year at Hogwarts. Harry had been protected by his mother's blood sacrifice, Dumbledore reasoned that if any person was willing to die to protect the life of another, they would not actually have to die to achieve the blood sacrifice, merely pledge that they would be willing to die. As every order member had promised that they would be willing to die if it helped to ensure the downfall of the dark side and helped the order, this meant that they would be willing to die for any one who would be instrumental in the downfall of the dark. Any student could be instrumental in the downfall of the dark, so every Hogwarts student had a _living guardian_ who pledged that they would be willing to die for them, thus offering them a degree of protection. This protection would not be as strong as that offered by a dead guardian, however, it would still be felt if the _living guardian_ and their charge were in close proximity, otherwise, the guardian would merely be alerted to the fact that their charge was in danger. It was not the best solution, but it was a slight solution.

IT had been controversial, but it was effective. Even now, Dumbledore remembered the reactions of the order members when he told them that they would have to be willing to die for random students, but that was nothing compared to the stunned reactions when the sorting hat assigned Snape as Hermione's guardian, she was a Gryffindor, in fact, she was the _only_ Gryffindor to be assigned to Snape. Every one had expected her to be assigned to the head of her own house, Dumbledore, one of the Weasley's, or possibly Remus or Sirius. Still Dumbledore had been sure that Snape had been assigned to her for a reason, maybe this, incident, could have something to do with that reason.

A loud knock at the door drew his attention from his thoughts.

**A/N:** Again a huge thanks to you lovely reviewers, thank you for your patience (I know I should have updated last week, but it was booing day and I wanted to sleep! Lol ;) !) this will be a Sirius Hermione story, but it's just going to take a little time for each of them to realise it! He he he, anyway, thank you:

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072 (you are one of my most loyal reviewers and I am very, very sorry to have disappointed you (hangs head in shame) but you did get lots of extra updates before xmas to make up for it, x x x, lol),Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **The1silversurfer,** **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Stargazer starluver, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi, ann, hannahslattery, and Kyra4**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"Ah, Severus, do come in," said Professor Dumbledore as airily as if they were discussing the weather. Snape hated this false front; all men present knew they were here to discuss a serious matter, one which could not have a brave face put on it.

"Headmaster, Black," he nodded at each in turn. "Let us be frank, we all know why we are here, and although I have no need to prove my innocence, if you wish I shall put my memories into a pensieve for you to examine at your will and convenience." He gave Black an icy stare.

"Memories can be altered, Snape," growled Sirius, staring back aggressively.

"Fine then, _you_ concoct Veritiserum, use legilimancy, do whatever you wish. I am an innocent man and am willing to use any means necessary to prove that!" Snape finished defiantly, almost challenging Sirius to contradict him. Sirius merely grimaced and muttered not-quite-under-his-breath;

"He doth protest too much."

"Stop this nonsense; we are all here with Hermione's best interests at heart. The question is how to deal with her?" Dumbledore said, very quietly, but with an authoritative tone that even Sirius could not pretend to miss.

"Oh, shit!" Sirius exclaimed. "The boys know. I've no clue _how_ they know, but they know. Harry said something about it last night…" He trailed off. They all knew this was bad news. The boys would slow Hermione's recovery if they confronted her, which they were surely bound to do. And they'd most likely get themselves injured- or worse- when they went seeking revenge, which again, they would surely do.

"We have to tell Hermione that they know before _they _do. And we have to talk to them about this, about how imperative it is that _they do not react_," Snape said in a tone of forced calm. The three men now faced an even harder task then _simply _consoling a tortured teenage girl; they now had to convince her _very_ protective, _very _hormonal, and very, well, _male_ teenage best friends that they must not try to avenge her. Boy, this day just kept getting better and better.

This was further confirmed when Dobby, whom Dumbledore had asked to fetch Harry and Ron, returned to Dumbledore's office without the boys, and with the news that their beds were empty and that they were nowhere to be found in the Gryffindor Tower.

The three men stood up silently, and made their way to the hospital wing, all knowing instantly that was where the boys would be. When they reached the hospital wing they were surprised at what they saw.

Hermione was sleeping peacefully in Harry's arms as he gently brushed her hair off her forehead from his position, perched against the headboard of the bed. Ron sat at the side of the bed; he was holding Hermione's hand in his and rubbing small circles on it with his thumb. Each boy looked peaceful and content, as did Hermione for the first time in weeks. "This is how it is meant to be," thought Sirius, before he realised with a jolt that this situation was far from what "it was meant to be". Hermione lay in a hospital bed_, a hospital bed that he had put her in._ Her best friends shouldn't have to be holding her so protectively, this should not have been the first time she had looked content in weeks. _This was all wrong_. Sirius felt the familiar swell of anger within him, but it would do the boys no good to see him worked up, so he pushed his anger aside and focused on the task in hand.

As they drew near, they heard Harry softly whispering into her hair, "dear oh dear Hermione, why didn't you tell us? We love you, we want to protect you Hermione, you should have told us. Never mind now though, everything will be fine, everything will be fine…" He then lightly kissed her forehead and gave Ron a tragic glance.

Then Harry looked up. He slowly disentangled himself from Hermione and put a finger to his lips, gesturing toward her sleeping form. Harry and Ron both stood, giving Snape a look of pure venom. They walked out of the ward into the corridor and motioned for Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape to follow them. Harry carefully closed the door once they were all outside. It was obvious to the three men that they had planned this.

"Why?" Harry asked simply.

Snape stared blankly at him, as did Sirius, but this question obviously made sense to Dumbledore, as he answered, "we thought it all for the best. You and Mr Weasley are both rather, erm, _protective _of Hermione- to put it lightly. We could not predict your reaction, but we were almost certain it would include revenge. It is imperative that _no harm_ should befall you, or Mr Weasley. Harry, Ron, you must _promise_ me, give me your word that you will not seek revenge on the men responsible for this."

"We will not seek revenge on any _man,_" said Harry earning a shocked glance from Ron before he continued, "the _creatures_ that did this to her are not _men_, they are unfit to be classed as human, they are _animals_."

"Be that as it may Potter," Snape said firmly, "you must not seek revenge. There is no benefit to putting yourselves in danger; I'm sure Miss Granger would agree-"

"**Don't you DARE even speak her name!**" yelled Ron, cutting across Snape. Snape was taken aback; he looked as if he had just been fed dragon dung.

"I think, gentlemen, that certain things need to be explained," said Dumbledore, calmly steering the boys toward his office. There, he told Harry and Ron the details of Hermione's summer, leaving out some of the more horrific aspects of her experience, such as the fact that they had gambled to see who could make her scream the most, and the vows of revenge that they'd made after discovering of her escape. The headmaster still remembered Severus informing him of these events…

"_It was awful, Headmaster. I placed the portkey just as you suggested, after I had prepared the diversion outside. I activated the diversion, made it look as though Pettigrew's wand had backfired; of course every death eater came running out to see what had caused the commotion. When we returned Hermione was gone. They were livid. No one had ever escaped them before, they couldn't believe she'd done it. I told them how intelligent she was, I told them that she probably carried portkeys on her at all times and that she would have just been waiting for an opportunity to activate it. I gave them some cock and bull story about you telling the "at risk" students that they should carry concealed portkeys at all times . Fortunately they believed it. But they were still outraged- they swore they'd get her again, Albus; they said she would not escape them next time. They said they would make good use of her- they have a plan, they're going to get her again, very, very publicly- they're going to use her as bait for Potter. Albus, we both know what these men are capable of- we cannot subject her to that again, we just can't."_

Dumbledore certainly agreed. He would do everything in his power to ensure that they would not get to her again. Still, Dumbledore didn't want Harry and Ron to be aware of just how real this threat was, not yet any way. It would only increase their thirst for revenge.

The un-made promises of Harry and Ron were forgotten as they said their goodbyes and headed back to the hospital wing to see _their_ Hermione. They had agreed to harm no man… but the creatures who had done this to her were not men, and they would have their revenge…

A/N: thanks to all who read and reviewed, and a HUGE thank you to Kyra4 who bettered this chapter. (I've only posted one chapter and I've not written a longer An/N / thank you list because I have exams, so blame the evil people at AQA, and pray for me! Wish me luck…)

Thank you, I really do appreciate reviews so much, x x x Fiona x x x


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

_Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. George Scialabba  
_

Hermione opened her eyes slowly. She gazed up at the faces looking down at her from the edge of her bed.

Harry was gently running his hand across her forehead, brushing off any stray hairs. Ron was holding her hand. Neither boy was looking at her, and they quite clearly hadn't realised she was awake. Hermione starred at her friends, and realised for the first time that they were no longer boys, but men. They had all faced many trials throughout their lives, and these had undoubtedly aged them, but now, these were men watching over her, not boys.

They looked so wise so dignified, so caring, if they weren't her best friends, Hermione probably would have been in love with at least one of them! She met Harry's gaze, his beautiful green eyes alight with – was it compassion, anger, guilt? Hermione didn't know.

Had Hermione not been recovering from the effects of a very powerful Crucius curse, she may have cottoned on to the peculiarity of the situation, and realised how odd it was for both Harry and Ron to be there, both looking so sombre. It didn't even register when Ron said:

"Hermione, we know."

"About what?" she replied, her confusion growing (as was her level of consciousness.)

"About, about the rape" said Harry with great difficulty as his green eyes blazed with fury.

"I… I, I don't know what you're talking about. Now please leave, I want to get dressed." Hermione said in a voice that was way to stern, even for her!. It was obvious to even Harry and Ron that Hermione knew exactly what they were talking about.

The thing that she had been dreading was confirmed, she was devastated. Harry and Ron knew. Shit. She had _sworn_ not to let them find out about it, _ever_! She would not let them put themselves in danger, especially not over something that they couldn't change.

"Hermione, don't lie. We know. Why didn't you tell us?" asked Ron quietly.

"I…I, You can't know, you mustn't. It's not important now any way, it's over with. There's nothing you can do and, and everyone agreed it best if you didn't know, it's just better if you don't know" She finished, tears welling in her beautiful eyes.

"Hermione, don't. You know that's not true, we care about you, you can tell us anything."

"No, I really can't , and if you two dare do anything, anything at all, to try and get revenge or something and end up getting hurt, I could never, ever forgive myself. Please, promise me you won't do anything stupid, just act as if this never happened, please, promise me."

"No, we can't act as if this never happened. You're our best friend and we weren't there to help you then, but we want to help you now, however we can"

"You can help me by forgetting this ever happened. When I find out who told you-argh! Just when things were getting better, and now this!" She said, before covering her face with her hands. Harry placed a reassuring hand on her back.

"Who told you? If Sirius said anything- I'll kill him" she muttered

"It wasn't Sirius, it was Malfoy."

"That little piece of shit, he probably enjoys knowing that you two will go gallivanting off and put yourselves in danger to "avenge my honour" or some other ridiculous notion like that. Maybe this is their plan; maybe they were trying to get to Harry through me. This could all be part of some big design to get Harry."

"Maybe, but I don't think Malfoy was meant to tell us, I mean, he seemed pretty upset about his father, I'm not even sure he intended to tell us, right Ron?"

"Err, yeah"

"Hermione, don't worry about us. We won't do anything stupid, we promise" Harry had yet again been very careful with his choice of words, he had promised not to do anything stupid, and to him, avenging Hermione was far from stupid.

"Good, now you two better get back to lessons. Will you take notes for me in transfigurations and potions, and not to mention charms…"

Harry grinned to himself, no matter what happened, Hermione would always be Hermione.

X X X X X X

Charms that day was most interesting, they were studying a variant of the shield charm. Which required the class to be divided into pairs, one of each pair was the attacker, the other, the defender. The attacker was to use a harmless spell, such as a cheering charm, and the defender was to try and protect themselves from it. So, as you can imagine, the class was in utter chaos.

Harry and Ron, both having been highly active members of the D.A were already proficient in the shield charm, and could both do it with their wand hand tied behind their back (according to Ron anyway). So Harry and Ron used this chaos to their advantage. They were discussing how best to get revenge on the death eaters. Their plan (so far) was to go to each of the death eaters' homes by apparating illegally from Hogsmeade next weekend. They had learnt to apparate the previous summer at Sirius' house, although the adults hadn't approved, they had consented when it was put to them as a matter of safety and security, the boys would always be able to escape if in danger, so they had reluctantly agreed. Any way, they would apparate to the Death eaters' homes, and beat the living hell out of them, attempt to get a confession out of them (neither boy was aware that confessions made under torture were no longer viewed as concrete evidence). If the death eaters did confess, they would be stunned and taken back to Hogwarts, where Dumbledore would deal with them. They knew that they wouldn't be able to get all the death eaters as word would quickly spread between them, but they might be able to get one or two. They had chosen to target the most prolific, 1) Lucius Malfoy, 2) McNair.

This plan may seem very, very haphazard and floored to any one else, but we mustn't forget that this plan was conceived by two extremely angry teenage boys during an extremely chaotic Charms lesson.

X X X X X X X

The rest of the week passed pretty much without incident. Hermione returned on Wednesday, her absence blamed on a highly contagious bought of flu which required her to be kept in quarantine. That weekend, third years and above were permitted to go to Hogsmeade, so on Saturday, Harry, Ron and Hermione set off towards the sleepy little village. Harry and Ron had much more then new quills and dung bombs on their minds, they had a plan…

A/N: This chapter hasn't been bettered because I was too lazy/busy to type it before today, and I didn't think my wonderful betta Kyra4 would have time to proof it for me, but hey, it's an update. Hope you enjoyed it and hope you review it, lol. A HUGE thank you to my lovely reviewers:

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **The1silversurfer,** **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**


	29. chapter 29

Chapter 33

"Harry. Ron. Come and look at these books! I've never been in this shop before, come on!" groaned Hermione, trying (and failing) to drag the boys away from the newly opened _Quality Quidditch Supplies_. Some bright spark had decided that just targeting quidditch fanatics in their school holidays wasn't enough, so had decided to open a shop here for them to waste their time ogling brooms in!

"Not now Hermione. New Firebolt"

"Yeah, we'll catch up with you in a minute" They shouted back to her, without removing their gaze from the shop window.

"Boys!" muttered Hermione, before continuing on her (short) path to the old bookshop.

She reached the window and stood transfixed by volumes upon volumes of books that she could see stretching far back into the dark recesses of the shop. As she looked more closely, Hermione was able to read some of the tittles of the books. She could tell at a glance that these were the kind of books that one would not find in Hogwarts' library, not even in the restricted section! Hermione scanned the titles, examples such as "_How to Hex to Hell_" and "_Subconscious Submission_" ("a guide to magical mental manipulation, how to change peoples mind without them even realising!") caught her eye.

She became so transfixed that she didn't even hear footsteps creeping towards her, in fact she didn't even notice a tall blond man standing behind her. She didn't notice until a strong, muscular arm slipped around her waist.

Hermione let out a squeal, "Harry! You scared me!" she stopped abruptly as she turned to see the smirking face of Lucius Malfoy glaring back at her.

"Miss Granger, nice to see you again, although I must say, you look much better without your clothes" he whispered in his aristocratic voice, his face now inches from hers. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek, she could smell his expensive, masculine cologne, she could feel the sense of power emanating from him, and she hated it all.

"Piss off" she growled, fighting to keep her voice strong and the tears from her eyes.

"Face of an angel, mouth of a sailor! If I didn't know you better Granger, I'd be surprised" he hissed. He then lowered his lips to hers, as she struggled fruitlessly against him. He stopped just short of her lips, and breathed:

"_but as you and I both know I know you very, very…intimately indeed_" He pulled her closer still, and as he kissed her, he ran his hands over her back, bringing one to rest in the small of her back, before he harshly began kneading it, making her arch in towards him. The other found its way to her bottom. Hermione still tried in vain to push him away, quickly realising that the more she struggled, the more he enjoyed it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Hermione managed to free her lips from the kiss

"HELP!" was all she could cry before one of Lucius' hands clamped securely on her mouth. Thankfully, that was all that was necessary, as Harry and Ron who were standing no more then two hundred yards away, turned from the quidditch shop window, instantly recognising her scream.

The boys quickly sped towards Malfoy and Hermione. "You Bastard" could be heard (undoubtedly from the mouths of both boys) as Ron grabbed Malfoy squarely by the shoulders and yanked him off Hermione, before quickly punching him full on in the nose (which he most probably broke). Harry spat viciously at Malfoy before rushing to comfort Hermione who was now sobbing hysterically.

Ron somehow forced Malfoy to the ground, and gave him a few good kicks, whilst cursing him vehemently, Harry joined him in the latter activity. Harry held the crying Hermione in his arms, he mouthed over her shoulder one word to Ron, its meaning excruciatingly clear:

"Tonight"

The two boys practically carried Hermione back to the castle. She had calmed down slightly, but was now alternating between apologising profusely, and threatening them, that if they did_ anything_ stupid on her account and got themselves hurt, she _would_ kill them. At this particular threat Harry and Ron exchanged nervous glanced, but remained steadfast in their resolution that she must be avenged. They took Hermione to her dormitory and proceeded from there to Dumbledore's office. They had given the gargoyle the password, climbed the spiral circular staircase, and were now knocking on the large oak doors.

"Enter" they heard the familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore say. As they entered, they saw Dumbledore, Sirius, Snape, Remus and McGonagal sitting around the large circular table which had been placed into the middle of the room, this table was normally only used for order or staff meetings.

"What is it boys? What's wrong?" questioned Dumbledore urgently upon seeing the looks on their faces

"Hermione" said Harry, in that second, the worst fears of the adults seemed to be confirmed- _Snape had warned of retaliatory attacks- but surely not this soon?_

"What's happened to her?" asked Sirius, the urgency in his gruff voice clearly noticeable, "Where is she?"

"Don't worry, she's safe" said Ron, suddenly realising what might have been going through the others' minds.

"She's in her dormitory now, we just got back from Hogsmeade, we, _no she_, bumped into Lucius Malfoy. Actually, he more or less grabbed her and tried to… well… feel her up, the Bastard. Oh sorry professor" Harry added as he received a stern glance from McGonagal. Sirius seemed angrier about the event then Harry's Language:

"**And you two let him?"** He practically yelled, of anything Harry might have expected off his God-father, it certainly wasn't blame!

"We weren't there!" said Harry, trying to remain calm.

"**Why the Hell not**?" h roared. "Please tell me Harry, _please tell me_, that you had more sense then to leave her on her own on her first time in a public place since the _bloody attack_, just hours after you found out about it, _knowing, knowing_ that the death eaters want revenge, to hurt her because she managed to escape! _Please tell me Harry, and you too Ron, please tell me that you had more sense then that!"_ He finished, slamming his fists down on the table, fury blazing in his eyes.

"We...we… she wandered off, she was within shouting distance, and, well, we thought there was no one about, we thought…"

"You let her wander off into a **_deserted_** street no less! **Jesus! **You two really have surpassed yourselves this time!" Said Sirius, cutting off Ron mid-explanation.

"Sirius! Really, it's not the boy's fault!" said McGonagal, "They couldn't possibly have known, and judging by the fact that Hermione is now safe in her dormitory, I'm guessing that these two young men had a hand in saving her?" She turned to Harry and Ron and gave them a questioning look.

"Well, yeah I suppose we gave Malfoy a good kicking" said Ron, and noting the shocked expression on McGonagal's face he added "What? He deserved it!" To his surprise, McGonagall gave a hint of a nod as if condoning his actions.

"Headmaster, may I go and speak with Miss Granger?" asked Snape, speaking for the first time since the boys had entered the room.

"I don't see why not Severus. Minerva," he added turning to McGonagall, "Will you please accompany him? After all, there is no need to arouse suspicion, as sending the head of Slytherin house to check on a Gryffindor student surely would." McGonagall agreed, and she and Snape left the room together.

"Professor" asked Harry, speaking to Dumbledore, "Is it alright if Ron and I go back into Hogsmeade, we've got a few things that we still need to get?"

"I see no reason why not. Just make sure you're back before curfew"

Both boys left the office and made their way towards the entrance hall, and to Hogsmeade. Their plan was now well and truly in action…

**A/N: he he he, another cliffy! It's so much fun to be evil. Apologies, I did send this one off to be better, but it wasn't back in time, so I thought an un-proofed update would be better then no update. Anyways, thank you for your continued support, it really is very, very much appreciated. Thank you to:**

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine (I remembered!), Kimmi/enchanting freak, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, alssyia, Faye 8222, Scottie, someonelse, hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

_"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" Winston Churchill_

As Harry and Ron made their way back to Hogsmeade to apparate, McGonagall and Snape made their way to the Gryffindor tower. Thankfully when they arrived, the tower was empty. All the students were either shopping in Hogsmeade, catching up on their homework in the library, or simply enjoying the last of the summer sunshine out in the vast grounds. Snape and McGonagall quickly made their way up to Hermione's dorm, which was also empty save for Hermione, who was sitting on her bed, leafing through and old photo album. She was looking at a picture that had been taken in the summer after second year showing her and her parents standing in Diagon ally with Harry and the Weasleys. She liked that picture; it reminded her of happier times, simpler times, when everything in her life seemed to be going well.

Hermione had taken t looking to the past recently, as we all do when we suffer a trauma of some kind, we all yearn for the days gone bye, however, one of Hermione's intellect does not. She could see that wishing for the past would not make it any more real, instead, she had to think of all the things in her life that had improved since the time that picture was taken. Well, she had met Sirius and Remus, she had gained the best O.W.L grades of any Hogwarts student in the past 50 years, not to mention the fact that her hair seemed a little calmer and now fell in glossy ringlets about her shoulders. She had had the privilege of watching her best friends grow into men. No, by far the greatest improvement had been meeting Mr Black…

She had to admit that yes, she had had a teeny weenie little crush on him since fourth year, but well, what self respecting girl wouldn't? Hermione could all too easily understand why Sirius had been a _ladies' man_ at Hogwarts- and throughout his life! He defiantly had the whole "_sexy-rebel-bad-boy-who's-good-at-heart_" thing going on, and he did have a great personality. When he was in a good mood, he was so fun to be around, he was easily the funniest person he knew. He had this knack of making you feel important and special just because of his presence. This was probably the biggest reason for her crush; Hermione, like all book worms, had so much pride and belief in her intellect, and yet she struggled to see herself, or make others see her as anything _but_ a bookworm. Sirius did. He didn't like labels, having experienced first hand just how wrong they can be. Around him, she was allowed to be a normal person, she could be the silly one, or the funny one as well as the clever one. She felt like he enjoyed her company, he made _her _feel as if _she_ was fun to be with. This had her so much confidence, and it was because of this confidence that she had been able to make several other improvements in her life. Yes, Hermione Granger owed Sirius Black _good style._ She was pulled from her musings by McGonagall's voice;

"Hermione dear, how are you? Harry and Ron told us about what happened."

"Oh, right, erm yeah, I'm fine" Hermione was caught off guard by this. She had expected the boys to tell the teachers, but she hadn't expected a fuss, nor had she expected Severus Snape to be sent to comfort her! Although Malfoy's attack (if it could be called such) had scarred her at the time, it had also given her a greater sense of security. It had been great to have the boys rush in and, well, kick the shit out of Malfoy on her behalf. Now she just wanted to forget it, after all, she had learnt her lesson, she wouldn't go wondering off on her own again.

Although Snape had asked to come and talk to her, he wasn't sure what to say. Although that night in the dungeons she had opened up to him, there was no guarantee that she would do so again.

"Miss Granger" he began, "You were very lucky today, If Potter and Weasley hadn't been there, I dread to think what could have, and most likely would have happened. You **must** be more careful in future Hermione, you can not just wander off on your own, they are still livid about your escape, they want revenge Hermione, and they are not men to tempt by making yourself a vulnerable target" e finished. Hermione was slightly shocked, she knew that the death eaters were angry, but hunt her down for revenge? Surely not?

"I promise I'll be more careful professor, thank you" she said.

"Speaking of revenge, I'm surprised that Weasley and Potter haven't tried to run off to seek vengeance on the death eaters yet" Said Snape, back to his usual smarmy self. "They seem to be handling this extremely well, for them anyway."

"Yes, much better then I'd expected them to, where are they by the way?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, I think they just popped back to Hogsmeade to pick up a few bits" said McGonagall.

"What? We got everything we needed this morning, any way, it's half past five now, they should be back, they would have come to see me. Professor, I think something's wrong, I , I just feel wrong. Will you go and see if you can find them please?"

"Yes dear, you're right, they should be back by now. I'll go and see if they've signed in." With that, both the professors and Hermione left.

Harry and Ron were of course not back at school. At that moment in time Harry and Ron were crouching in the Malfoy flower beds. They had apparated from Hogsmeade to the Malfoy to the Malfoy mansion, the sight that had greeted them was most unpleasant. They had arrived about quarter of an hour earlier, they had been hiding in the bushes planning how to attack, after five minutes they had heard several "pops" signifying people apparating. They froze, what they heard made their stomachs churn. It was Malfoy's cold and drawling voice;

"Gentlemen, thank you for coming at such short notice. I have news of that little mud blood whore we fucked up last summer; I ran into her today in Hogsmeade, and yes McNair, before you ask, she's still as feisty and _vocal_ as ever!"

"Yeah, but is her arse as tight?" called one of the men laughing.

"Yes Avery, well from what I could tell it was. That little shit of a blood traitor Weasley dragged me off her, gave me a good few kicks that one did! Well never mind, we'll get revenge soon enough, but gentlemen, revenge is precisely what I wish to discuss. My son has informed me that Syltherin will be playing a quidditch match against Gryffindor next Saturday. The whole school will be occupied, including those little bastards Potter and Weasley, and the professors. Draco also tells me that at the end of the match, Granger usually waits behind to congratulate or console the boys. The professors and students leave the when the match finishes, leaving little Miss Granger all alone, far away from school, in an entirely deserted quidditch stadium, and this time there will be no escaping" He finished before laughing malevolently, the men followed suit, and headed towards the Malfoy manner, leaving Harry and Ron shaking with suppressed anger. Their plan was forgotten, they apparated back to Hogsmeade before trudging back up to school, too angry to speak, replaying what they had just heard in their minds.

When they reached the castle a frantic McGonagall and Hermione instantly began berating them.

"Where the Hell have you been? Have you any idea what time it is? I've been going insane worrying about you!" Hermione yelled.

"Professor, we'll explain later, we have to see Dumbledore, it's a matter of life and death!" Said Harry and Ron nodded in agreement.

"Very well then, I shall escort you to the Headmaster's office" McGonagall was clearly worried and intrigued. As she led them towards Dumbledore's office, Harry and Ron exchanged a meaningful look.

"Err, professor" Ron began tentatively, avoiding any eye contact with Hermione, "It would be best if Hermione didn't hear this, not now anyway, please will you accompany her to the tower, and make sure she is not left alone?" he finished,

Hermione opened her mouth to protest but McGonagall sensing something was very wrong nodded and began to steer Hermione towards the Gryffindor tower. The boys proceeded to the Headmaster's office.

When they walked in, Sirius, Snape and Dumbledore were gathered around the desk.

"Professor, tonight, Ron and I, well, we, we apparated from Hogsmeade to the Malfoy manner to get revenge on Malfoy and-"

"You bloody idiots! Running off into the homes of known Death eaters? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" yelled Sirius.

"Let the boy speak" said Dumbledore, "judging by the fact he is even telling us this at all, there are greater things to be discussed"

"Thanks. Anyway, we whilst we were there, hidden, these death eaters turned up, and they were, they were talking about what they did to Hermione, and what they're _going_ to do to her."

"Bloody Hell" muttered Sirius.

"Harry, this is very important, what exactly did they say?" asked Dumbledore, his voice full of concern.

"It would be easier for me to show you in the pensive then tell you, and will probably be more useful"

"Very well" said Dumbledore, lifting the pensive of its pedestal and placing it on his desk. He walked over to Harry and placed the tip of his wand to Harry's head, "Now, I need you to think about this very hard" No sooner had Dumbledore said this then vivid images began to pass before Harry's closed eyes. Then he felt the most peculiar sensation, he felt his mind become lighter, more… empty or something. Dumbledore placed the silvery strand into his pensive, then all of the man present leant into it and witnessed the scene at the Malfoy manner. When it was over, they returned to Dumbledore's office. Snape was a very odd colour, Sirius' fists were clenched tightly and he had a murderous look on his face, but Dumbledore just looked very sad.

"Thank you boys for informing us of thins, but you must give me your word that you will not seek revenge again, that you will not put yourselves in danger like this ever again."

"Fine, I wont seek revenge, but if they come after her, I _will not_ take it lying down." Said Harry almost defiantly.

"Same goes for me" said Ron.

"That will do for now, also, I must ask you not to tell Hermione what you heard, don't worry, we will ensure she is safe on Saturday, good night gentlemen."

Harry and Ron returned to the Gryffindor tower, while back in his office, Dumbledore summoned several members of the order, they needed a plan.

**A/N: hey, sorry it's so late, but I've had a hell of a lot of homework, n life's being a bit of a bitch lately, lol! Hope you enjoyed it, and hope you look forward to the next chapter, he he he! By the way, what do you people think of dating age gaps in the real world? Is 6 years really bad? Plus, do you have Head girls/ boys in America and any where else that you're reviewing from, just curious ;-) oh yeah, and are any of you male? Do guys read fanfic? **

**Any way, a huge thanks to all you lovely reviewers! **

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi/enchanting freak, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, alssyia, Faye 8222, Scottie, someonelse, Dannen, Ciara, Chelseaflo, m&m, padfootlvr692, Tinas74 (they'er longer now, and I didn't like to stick them together, I justdo minimum updates, so there, and it's my story –blows raspberry at computer)Michelle, cocojoa, hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**

X x x Fiona x x X

PS: my apologies, this chapter hasn't been proofed because I just this minute finished it! x x x


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

"_Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion." Spike Milligan_

The next week passed without much incident. When they had returned to the tower, Hermione had questioned Harry and Ron- but both had refused to tell her what they had heard. They lied instead. They said that they'd seen an injured animal in the forest when they passed it on their way back from Hogsmeade, and that they had wanted to inform Dumbledore. Hermione hadn't really believed them, but she hadn't really seen a point in questioning them further- they obviously weren't going to tell her. So she'd abandoned the matter, choosing instead to sit quietly, watching Harry and Ron play wizards' chess. (Ron won, of course- repeatedly.) She was soon joined in this activity by Ginny, and realised that Ginny didn't yet know that the boys were aware of her ordeal now. She thought it best to tell her, but didn't want to start Harry and Ron off again.

Hermione took Ginny up to her dorm room and told her there, also mentioning the meeting with Lucius Malfoy earlier that day. Though it was still painful to talk about, Hermione felt like a great weight had been lifted; she didn't have to worry anymore about letting it slip to the boys, and it also meant she no longer had Ginny on her back about telling them!

All things considered, Hermione was much happier; she felt that many of her problems had been resolved, and her lessons were going well… the only thing was, Harry and Ron seemed a bit, well, off with her. Sometimes they would stop talking when she came into the room, and whenever the three of them were outside Gryffindor Tower, they wouldn't let her out of their sight.

But that didn't really matter, or so she told herself. The week flew by, and soon it was the weekend. On Friday night, Harry and Ron seemed extremely nervous- about what, Hermione had no idea, but she knew something was bothering them. Her suspicions were confirmed when Harry and Ron _offered, of their own free will, _to go to the _library_ with her, _on a Friday night!_ Hermione did ask them why they were willing to give up their Friday night to study, but Harry just muttered something about keeping their mind off the big Quidditch match tomorrow. Hermione accepted this seemingly legitimate reason and questioned them no further. The rest of the night passed without incident… and all too soon for Harry and Ron's liking.

They went down for an early breakfast the next morning, and were surprised (and also a little relieved) when they saw that Hermione was already there, as were the vast majority of the teaching staff. This made the boys feel slightly less nervous. As they sat through a virtually silent breakfast, Hermione presumed that their distracted states were due to nerves about the match. Little did she guess the events that were about to commence.

Harry and Ron made their way to the Quidditch pitch changing rooms at about half past eleven. The match was due to start at twelve; as they prepared, both boys were silent and frequently exchanged nervous glances. Hermione and Ginny were safely in their seats, both proudly sporting Gryffindor rosettes and blissfully unaware of the Death Eater threat. Hermione (A.K.A: miss observant) had noticed that every single member of the teaching staff was present, and not only that, but several rows above and below the staff's seats were empty. Normally, if a match was unusually crowded, as most Gryffindor/Slytherin matches were (the whole school, after all, loved to witness the rivalry between these two opposing Houses), the extra seats in the staff block would have been filled with students who couldn't find room to sit elsewhere. Today, however, at the most popular Quidditch fixture of the year, every seat in the staff block was either filled by a staff member or left empty- not a single student had found it necessary to sit there. This struck Hermione as odd. Harry and Ron, on the other hand, knew that the seemingly unoccupied seats were actually filled by members of the Order, hidden under invisibility cloaks. The boys also knew that Dumbledore had somehow magically expanded the capacity of the stadium, without altering it visibly. Dumbledore was after all brilliant, and he had realised that if no student had to, then no student would _choose_ to sit with the teachers.

All too soon, the boys heard the familiar voice of Lee Jordan:

"Welcome, students and staff to what promises to be the finest game yet. I present Katie Bell's Gryffindor, versus Marcus Flint's (yes that's right folks, he has failed to graduate _for four straight years!_) Slytherin!" There was a massive cheer from three sides of the stadium, and some boos from the Slytherin side- Lee's remark had not gone down too well over there!

"Players, I want a good clean game. Captains, shake hands," Said Madam Hooch as Flint and Katie participated in the traditional game of 'who could break whose fingers first'. They were cut short when Madam Hooch said;

"Mount your brooms, and on my whistle…"

They kicked off, as did the game.

Harry was surprised; he didn't feel the usual sense of freedom when he kicked off- in fact, his fears seemed to worsen in the knowledge that the Death Eaters would soon be there. Harry tried unsuccessfully to shake these thoughts from his mind. Ron was also feeling unfocussed on the game, which probably explained why Slytherin had just scored. Harry wanted a quick game, and was frantically searching for the snitch, but he was closely followed by Draco Malfoy.

"So Potter," Draco taunted, "are you going to try and catch the snitch in your hands this time? Wait, what am I talking about, there's no _chance _you're going to catch it this time!"

"Is it nice in your world, Malfoy?" replied Harry, his voice dripping with sarcasm, which miraculously Malfoy didn't get.

"Err yes it is actually, but I fail to see the relevance?"

"Never mind, Malfoy!" yelled Harry, as he sped off- he thought he had seen the tiny golden ball, but it quickly vanished.

The game continued, and soon it was Slytherin 60, Gryffindor 90; Gryffindor no longer needed a quick capture, but Harry desperately wanted one, and with this on his mind he redoubled his efforts in searching for the snitch. Ron had recovered and was doing well as keeper despite his nerves- true, he had let six scores in, but he had blocked at least ten.

While the battle raged on in the air, Sirius Black was fighting his own, much more personal battle. He was not only concerned for Hermione's safety, but also for Harry and Ron's; the game had become very violent, and both had already had a few near misses. Sirius was also worried that this could all be some elaborate plan to hurt Harry by hurting Hermione. He had asked Dumbledore to cancel the match and to get Harry and Hermione to a safe place, but, typically, Dumbledore had refused, saying that life at Hogwarts must be as normal as possible. Because the order had prior knowledge of the event, Dumbledore said that they would not only be able to ensure the students' safety, but they would also have the opportunity to capture some of the Death Eaters.

But by far, the greatest inner battle that Sirius was facing was against the traitorous part of him that _wanted_ the Death Eaters to come, that _wanted_ them to attack Hermione so that _he_ could be her knight in shining armour, and have the chance to kick the shit out of anyone who tried to harm her. Sirius was disgusted at himself for thinking such things, and the fact that he even _wanted to be Hermione's knight in shining armour_ scared the life out of him! He was still having trouble admitting to himself that he was falling in love with her- and oh shit, he'd just admitted it, hadn't he- he was falling _in love_ with her, shit.

Shit shit shit!

Sirius was wrenched from his thoughts abruptly when he heard a triumphant yell- Harry had caught the snitch inches from the ground, after making a spectacular dive. Sirius had seen none of this, but was later assured by Remus that Harry's talent had rivalled his father's. The match was over-

But the games were just beginning.

A/N: again, a shitty week, but still, massive thank you to Kyra4 for bettering this so quickly, and a huge thanks to all you lovely reviewers, and by the way, if you haven't figured out yet, I update every Sunday, lol, but I might have to change it because now I work Sundays, blah blah blah, anyway, I'll keep you posted and keep posting.

Thanks to:

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ** **Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi/enchanting freak, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, alssyia, Faye 8222, Scottie, someonelse, Dannen, Ciara, Chelseaflo, mm, padfootlvr692, Tinas74, Michelle, cocojoa, 43, Angel Kiakes, lilchick, hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**

X x x Fiona x x X


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"_Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson_

"This potion," echoed the steely voice of Lucius Malfoy, "will make us invisible to those who we do not wish to see us. It lasts for around twenty minutes, which should be plenty of time. After all, where's the fun if there's no audience?" He laughed, as did the fifteen or so Death Eaters present.

"To Miss Granger! Drink up, lads!" Malfoy yelled and they all downed the little glass phials containing the potion. "Ah, a little test I think, I wish to be visible to no one!" As soon as these words had escaped his lips, he became invisible, causing the Death Eaters to cheer.

"To Hogwarts," Lucius whispered, "and Miss Granger."

The Death Eaters arrived at the fast emptying Quidditch stadium, via portkey, wishing to be, and therefore being, only visible to each other. They had been given instructions and immediately set about executing them.

XXX

"God, what's taking the boys so long?" Hermione asked Ginny. A good ten minutes after the match had finished, there was still no sign of them. Little did Hermione know that the boys were delayed, indirectly, because of her. Inside the Gryffindor changing rooms, Ron and Harry were having a fierce debate- it was not an argument, it was just a… _strong_ difference of opinions.

"Harry, I've been thinking, and maybe, well, maybe you shouldn't, you know- fight today," Ron said tentatively.

"What? Why not?" asked Harry, taken aback.

"Well, I mean, we know that You Know Who, well, he wants to kill you! This could just be some extravagant plot to get to you trough Hermione."

"I'll be fine, Ron; we _have_ to protect Hermione, we weren't there for her last time, and I will not let that happen again!"

"Harry, if you die, the hope of ever defeating You Know Who dies with you- I know you don't want to admit it, but the prophesy said-"

"Ron, I am _not_ going to die, have you seen how many teachers are here? And Sirius said most of the Order was here too- there's no way they could get to me."

"Then how will they hurt Hermione? Harry, you just won't make a difference in protecting her if you're there, but you could do some serious harm; the Order would have to watch out for you as well as Hermione, and that would put both of you in greater danger! Please Harry, see sense!"

As Harry considered this, Hermione grew impatient and made her way toward the Gryffindor changing rooms, striding across the seemingly empty Quidditch pitch. She came to a very sudden halt, however, as she walked right into the arms if an eager and invisible Lucius Malfoy. She knew who it was when she heard that sneering voice in her ear-

"My, my, Miss Granger, you just can't seem to stay out of my arms can you?"

Hermione didn't answer, she simply screamed at the top of her lungs, drawing every waiting teacher and Order member, and Harry and Ron, to the pitch.

Suddenly the Death Eaters made themselves visible to Hermione, making the reality of her situation come crashing down on her. She noticed that they all, Lucius included, seemed to be on one side of the pitch.

"NOW!" yelled Lucius, and on cue, every single Death Eater pulled out his wand and simultaneously shouted the words of an extremely strong and advanced shielding charm. An invisible barrier was cast around Hermione and the Death Eaters- or, not really _exactly_ invisible, but more like a transparent, giant glass dome, surrounding them from the ground up, trapping her with the Death Eaters. Hermione was panicking again, Lucius now had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and she could tell, even though she had her back to him, that he was smirking. Hermione could see the Order and she could hear them yelling, she could also see that their spells weren't penetrating the "glass" dome.

The Order's urgency increased when the invisibility potions wore off, for Lucius made great use of this newfound visibility. Moving toward the edge of the barrier and ostentatiously tightening his grip on her, he began to kiss her neck, glaring smugly at Harry as he did so. Harry immediately sent a curse at him whilst simultaneously yelling out unrepeatable profanities. Sirius was now hammering on the barrier, outraged by what was happening on the other side. Lucius merely smiled more widely as Hermione struggled futilely against his grip; this just served to infuriate Sirius further.

"Calm yourself, Black, she's not worth getting upset over!" Lucius bellowed, "I mean, she was a good fuck, but she's damaged goods now!"

Sirius hammered on the barrier even harder; Harry and Ron quickly joined him. Lucius and the Death Eaters only laughed all the more.

Inside the barrier, Hermione was fighting the urge to scream. She knew that if she screamed the Death Eaters would only get some sick sense of pleasure from it, and it would cause her friends even more distress. She had to be strong, she mustn't scream, she had to be strong…

Suddenly, Lucius spun her round in his arms, they were now face to face and before she could react, his lips were on hers. She felt his hands sliding up and down her back, lingering on her bottom, and she squirmed in spite of her self. She knew that Malfoy was only doing this to wind the order up, and from what she could tell, it was working. Abruptly, he bit her lip and shoved her towards another Death Eater. He spat on the ground, "Why is it that such filthy blood tastes so sweet?" he asked, laughing. Hermione felt another pair of strong arms wrapping around her as she heard an ear splitting roar. The Order had broken through the barrier; they had all aimed synchronized Reductor spells at the same spot on the barrier, which instantly shattered.

And then, all Hell broke loose…

**A/N: Aren't I just a tad evil? Muhahahaha! Erm, so yeah, kind of short I suppose, but I'm ill, and it's half term next week, so should be able to get some serious typing done! A HUGE thanks to Kyra4 for bettering this so well, and thank you to you lovely reviewers:**

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi/enchanting freak, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, alssyia, Faye 8222, Scottie, someonelse, Dannen, Ciara, Chelseaflo, mm, padfootlvr692, Tinas74, Michelle, cocojoa, 43, Angel Kiakes, lilchick, Yasmine, Fan, Althea515, EsScaper (wow, longest review ever! Thanks! And your questions will be answered eventually, and it's just taking Sirius some time to realize stuff, ;-)), hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**

**THANK YOU!**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

_"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not"Andre Gide _

Before Hermione could really register what was going on, she felt a strong hand seize her by the shoulders, and heard Sirius' voice yell, "Get off her McNair, NOW!"

Sirius tried to pull her away, but McNair only tightened his grip.

"And if I don't?" he asked, sneering.

"You will no longer be classed as male," growled Sirius in reply, aiming his wand brazenly at McNair's lower body. McNair threw Hermione at Sirius and drew his own wand, and while Sirius was distracted by the task of catching Hermione, McNair cursed him;

"_Stupefy!_"

Caught off guard, the curse hit Sirius directly in the head. Instinct took over and Hermione spun round, drawing her own wand as she did, the words of a stunning curse already on her lips. She hit McNair squarely in the chest, but the damage to Sirius had already been done. Hermione knelt over Sirius, worried. He had taken a stunner from a very powerful wizard directly to the forehead; this was not good.

As Hermione tried to Ennervate him, the battle raged on all around. She cast her eyes round in search of help. She saw Remus and Dumbledore standing over a stunned Lucius Malfoy, and Hagrid wading his way easily though a group of Death Eaters, knocking each one to the ground as he went. She saw Moody duelling with some unknown Death Eater whilst the other Order members were securing their already stunned foes. She saw that Harry, Ron and Ginny were well out of the way, over on the periphery of the field, surrounded by a protective bubble. Harry and Ron were not at all happy about this; she watched them pounding on the shield. It was then that Hermione's eyes met with Sanpe's. He looked from Hermione's panicked face to Sirius' limp body, then quickly hurried toward them.

"He took a stunner to the head, Ennervate wouldn't work-"

"Keep trying; talk to him. Here-" he said, casting a protective bubble charm around them, "You'll be fine, Miss Granger." With that he strode back to join Remus and Dumbledore in duelling the last remaining Death Eaters.

Once inside the "bubble" Hermione felt a lot calmer. "Right, keep trying," she said, thinking aloud. She pressed the tip of her wand to where she thought his heart would be and whispered "Ennervate". It didn't work. "Right; keep talking to him…" she moved so that Sirius was now propped up against her, his head leaning against her chest, and she began to talk to him. The only problem was, now that Hermione was _required_ to talk, she had absolutely nothing to say. So Hermione turned to her old friend, the past, for inspiration;

"Do you remember the first time we met?" she asked, stroking his hair gently. "I do- it was in the shrieking shack at the end of third year; we all still thought you were an evil murderer, pretty stupid for an insufferable know-it-all, hey? I still remember how shocked you were when I called you "Mr Black", the look on your face! And I remember last summer when you practically begged me to stop doing so, and to call you Sirius like the boys do. That was so funny, you got yourself so worked up over such a little thing, but that's you, isn't it! You get so concerned about Harry; you're so protective over him, over all of us really, we're lucky to have you. Harry needs you so badly, he's always thinking about you, you know? Whenever he has a problem or anything he always turns to you, we all do I suppose. I never really thanked you for being so caring last summer, I remember when you came to visit me in the infirmary once, it was so good to have someone to talk to about things who didn't treat me like I was made of glass; even thought you knew what had happened, you still acted normally, thank you. And then, you were so… accommodating… that's the wrong word, I mean the way you arranged everything for me to come and stay at Grimmauld place, I didn't even have to ask, it was so… so kind of you, really. I don't think I could have coped with all that without you, I don't know how I would cope if you don't bloody wake up! I don't know how any of us would…"

As Hermione thought for a moment, she realised just how big an influence Sirius had had on all their lives. She realised that they really did need him, that _she_ really did need him, and that if he didn't wake up, she really didn't know how she would cope…

"Please Sirius" she said as tears once again began to well in her eyes, "please wake up, please. We need you, I need you" she swallowed hard and whispered, "oh my God. I think I love you." She was stunned; she hadn't meant to say that, and yet… she hadn't meant to say it, but had she meant it? She couldn't be… _could_ she?

Sirius' eyes sprang open, he was instantaneously upright. He had to have dreamt that, right? Hermione Granger couldn't have possibly just said she loved him- right?

"Oh thank God you're awake- do you feel okay? How's you head? Do you-"

"Hermione, calm down, I feel fine, just a little confused. Ah, what's going on?"

Inwardly, Hermione panicked, "Shit shit shit! Bollocks! He heard me, he heard me! Bugger! Stupid stupid Hermione!" She thought. What was she going to tell him? How on earth could she explain her way out of this one? _'Well yes actually Mr Black, I'm sorry to say that I find you extremely attractive, think you are a wonderful man, and I may just be in love with you! Oh, and by the way, it doesn't bother me in the slightest that you're old enough to be my father, oh, and don't worry about being Harry's godfather, I don't mind if he never speaks to me again!_' She could imagine how well that would go down; yeah, just like the Titanic!

"Where's Harry? What's happened?" Sirius asked again.

"Err, well, you were stunned and I couldn't Ennervate you- Snape came over to cast this protective bubble thingy, Harry Ron and Ginny are in one over there she pointed, and Dumbledore and the Order are dealing with the other Death Eaters; I think they've just about rounded them up," she said quickly, taking her cue from him and not mentioning what she had said, that had caused him to jolt awake so suddenly.

"Snape will have a field day- "Lying down on the job again, Black?" he imitated Snape's oily voice; "I can just imagine it!"

"He won't, you took a stunner trying to protect me, thanks by the way. And besides, Snape isn't really that bad is he?"

"Maybe, maybe… Anyway, are you all right? Well, at least as well as can be expected?" he asked giving Hermione a penetrating stare.

"Yes, I'm fine, stop worrying!" she said. Sirius looked around and saw that all the remaining Death Eaters were contained.

"Right then, let's go, _Fininte Incantatum_," he said, pointing his wand at the protective bubble. "Now, I want you to go and join Harry, Ron and Ginny, understood? Good, run quickly; their bubble should let you in if they grant it- go, now!" Hermione quickly made her way to the boys' bubble, which admitted her without a problem. Sirius watched her carefully. _You are one sick bastard, Black!_ he muttered to himself , _Dreaming that a sixteen year old girl loves you, how low can you get?_ But what worried him most wasn't the fact that he had dreamt of this, it was the small part that almost, kind of, sort of, wanted it to be true. The small part of him, that thought that maybe, just maybe, he could, well, have kind of, sort of, loving-ey feelings for _her_. It wasn't even as if he could just convince himself that it was all purely physical- granted he _was_ a man, and she _was_ pretty, but it wasn't simply physical, he liked her for her… and oh shit, he was in deep. "Maybe that stunner affected me more then I thought," he muttered, refusing to believe that he could possibly be thinking straight…

Well, that would have to wait, he decided, shaking his head as he made his way over to Dumbledore and the others. There were more pressing matters at hand.

**A/N: Early update because I'm off school and should be doing homework but did this instead! Yay! Bad news is, I might have to reschedule my regular updates, as I've changed my working hours blah blah blah, but I'll keep you posted as to that if and when it happens, just a warning, lol. HUGE thanks to the fantastic Kyra4 who bettered this chapter so quickly (and so well!) and thank you to all you lovely reviewers, very, very much appreciated. **

**lee74, Mai Gamit**,** creepiness, Katie, Phelpslover Darkraven-04 ****Avestia, kbluesmom, runaway mental patient, Rane2920072,Emz, acdenerd, queenbeth2, Zaralya, GabreilsGirl, acid green quill, Sailor Hermy, facefood,** **PeleAmelika, muggle mom****, Nerdy Sunny, Danfan, SiriuslyPadfoot'sGal, xxsnufflesgirlxx, ****ghypscee****stargazer starluver**, **chibi-mairi, Paris97, Shyngr8, lunastar-03, Jadein, NicksterPotter, Shoe Malfoy, cookiedoughicecream, Orenjinoneko, Damia queen of the gypsi's, Outlawed, emikae, potato heaven, marauding-siriusly, BlackRaven 32(aka WordNerd), Helen, the Contessa, dannen, Crazy-Psycho, xMaverickf14x, Luna87, CharmedLeoLvr, Londyn Weasley, alora55, Padfootsmine, Kimmi/enchanting freak, ann, me(I think, not sure what your review was meant to mean), European chick, NeVeRmInD2, sosweet22, 14 fizzing whizbees, leosqueen, callmequeen, Highlandcoo, SpiffySquirrel, Katie O'Brian, alssyia, Faye 8222, Scottie, someonelse, Dannen, Ciara, Chelseaflo, mm, padfootlvr692, Tinas74, Michelle, cocojoa, 43, Angel Kiakes, lilchick, Yasmine, Fan, Althea515, EsScaper, MalinBlack, ( ), ellen, Christa, Slytherinstargazing, ElentariStar-Queen, hannahslattery, and Kyra4.**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"_It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not." Andre Gide_

"BULLSHIT!" yelled Sirius, slamming his fist down on Dumbledore's desk, having just finished the Ministry report on the morning's events. Despite the capture of fifteen "suspected" death eaters, and eye witness accounts from no fewer then twenty-nine individuals, _all _saying they had seen the death eaters using illegal curses and "treating Miss Granger in an abusive and violent manner", the ministry still claimed that there was -

"**Insufficient evidence**- insufficient evidence my arse!" said Sirius; "bloody ministry, corrupt bunch of idiots the lot of them!"

"Be that as it may, Sirius," Dumbledore cut across him, "we have more pressing issues to deal with. The men who assaulted Miss Granger are now once again free and if I am correct, Severus, just as keen for revenge as before."

"Yes, headmaster."

"Well then, I regret to say that we must once again consider the safety of Miss Granger, as well as that of both Misters Potter and Weasley. We can't have them running off seeking revenge again, but how to do it? Any ideas gentlemen, Madame?"

It turned out that, although Sirius, Snape and McGonagall had many ideas, few of these were practical. However, after two hours and several _large_ glasses of fire whisky, it seemed they had a solution, or at least as near to one as they were going to get.

"So, it's decided then, Miss Granger and Misters Potter and Weasley will be informed of the circumstances. They are to have their Hogsmeade permission revoked and Sirius, you will be their escort to and from classes as well as after school activities etc. We must also impress upon the importance that none of them can be left alone unless with Sirius or a teacher. We will tell Hermione that she cannot stay at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays. Severus, as you know, you are Hermione's "living guardian", the protection you offer her will only be effective if you are in the same location as Hermione, and now she is not to stay at Hogwarts this Christmas, she will wither have to stay with you, or you with her. Not perfect I know, but I fear it's the best we can do for the time being." Dumbledore finished with a grim smile, "And, now, it is time to talk to the children, Minerva, if you'd be so kind…"

Professor McGonagall headed to Gryffindor tower; the children had been taken there (after being given the once over by Madame Pomfrey) and had been warned not to leave.

She entered the common room and saw Harry and Ron sitting in the chairs near the fire, both looked angry and were ashen faced. Minerva suspected that they had been shocked not only by the abuse of their friend, but also by the realisation that they were at war. It was no longer a question of "What will be?" but "How do we fight what already is?" This scared her, never mind the young boys. She walked towards them and asked where Hermione was.

"Dormitory" Harry replied. Professor McGonagall instructed them to stay put and made her way to Hermione's dormitory, once outside she head heart wrenching sobs.

"Hermione?" she asked, unnecessarily. The sobbing instantly stopped, but erratic breathing could still be heard from the other side of the door. "It's professor McGonagall, may I come in?"

"Yes, professor."

"Oh dear, are you alright?" Another unnecessary question from McGonagall, as she made her way across to Hermione. "Is there anything I can do?"

"It's just, I feel so… so helpless" Hermione said, before breaking down once again into noisy sobs. "**I hate feeling like this! **I am not meant to be helpless! I'm meant to be able to hex the balls off any man who comes within ten feet of me, but now… now I just freeze. I don't know what's happening to me, I just feel so bloody useless!"

"Well, we've come up with some measures that may help you to feel a little more secure, and my dear, I fully believe that you could hex the balls of any man who came within fifty feet of you, but on every occasion when you have been attacked it has been without warning. If the scum were brave enough to approach you fairly, they wouldn't stand a chance! No, dry you eyes, and come down to the common room. Dumbledore wants to see you and the boys." McGonagall left, feeling more sympathy for the poor girl.

Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Dumbledore's office. They were greeted by the sight of Dumbledore, Sirius and Snape sitting around a large table, each with a large shot of what looked like fire whiskey in his hand.

"Ah, do come in," said Dumbledore. He smiled at them but his eyes lacked their usual sparkle.

They obliged, Harry sat between Dumbledore and Sirius, Hermione between Sirius and Snape, Ron between Snape and McGonagall, who was next to Dumbledore. If Ron felt uncomfortable, it was nothing to how Hermione felt. Sirius had still not mentioned what she had said to him, and now safe in Dumbledore's office, she could see it was a stupid thing to say. Sirius must realise that, still, she preferred to believe that he simply hadn't heard.

If Hermione felt uncomfortable, it was _nothing_ to how Sirius felt! Hermione, sweet, kind, innocent Hermione had helped to save his life, not only on the battlefield, but way back in her third year. Even then she had trusted him, and believed him, despite the fact she didn't know him. And now, how did he repay her for this loyalty? He had inappropriate thoughts about her! Well, nothing raunchy or sexual, although he often had to stop himself drinking in the curves of her body, for fear that some one might see the near-lust with which he looked at her, not to mention the self-disgust he felt when he realised how he looked at her. But on the whole, his feelings towards her weren't indecent, just inappropriate. He really believed that he wanted to _love_ her, not just to make love to her (no man in their right mind would have said no to that!). This was bad enough, but now he was projecting his feelings onto Hermione it was just sick! Earlier, he could have sworn he'd heard her tell him she loved him! This worried Sirius, if he could delude himself to believe that she loved him, what else was he capable of deluding himself of? He might see "come on" signs that weren't there, or even worse, he could act on them. This scared him. How was he to know that he _wasn't_ projecting his emotions onto an innocent child?

Another thing that scared him was that he was about to be placed in a position of trust in her life; he was about to be appointed as her guardian, well, at least her protector within the school. He didn't know if he could stand being in constant close proximity to her. He'd seen the way she hugged the boys and had to admit that, for a second, he'd wished that he could be in their place. But now the thought filled him with dread. If she hugged him like that, he didn't know if he would be able to not kiss her, and then what would she say? It didn't bear thinking about…

**A/N:Two updates in a week, go me!Bad news though, I'm probably not going to be able to update next week, i have exams and stuff, so consider this double update as copensation. Thanks to Sean for bettering this for me, it was too short notice to send it to the wonderful Kyra4 (I was typing it at 12.30 this morning!) Any way, thank you for reading and reviewing, **

**x x x Fiona x x x**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." Author Unknown

"We have decided that certain precautions need to be taken to ensure your safety, the need for these precautions was highlighted be today's events." said Dumbledore calmly, looking at each of them in turn as he spoke. "As you all know, the death eaters are livid, now even more so. I know this is hard to hear, but they want to hurt you Miss Granger, and Mr. Potter, this may be in part of an elaborate plan to hurt you by hurting Hermione. However, I also believe that even if you and Miss granger were not friends, she would still be a likely target - after all Miss Granger, you disprove every pure blood myth that Voldemort's ideals are based on. You frighten them Miss Granger, you show that everything they believe in is wrong."

Harry looked angry, Ron blank, and Hermione had an odd mixture of fear, anger and pride on her face. It was obvious to see that she was proud of being called the "anti-Voldemort", if you will.

"You will no longer be allowed to visit Hogsmeade." The children began to protest, but Dumbledore raised a hand to silence them, "It is for your own safety. You will also be escorted to and from classes by Sirius - the other students of course, will not be aware of his presence. Sirius will supervise you in any after school activity. Finally, you must never, and I emphasise, _never_ leave one another alone unless it is with a teacher or a member of the order. I'm sorry to say that I fear even the corridors of Hogwarts are no longer safe. That is all. Minerva, please escort the children back to the common room. Gentlemen; I believe you have something you need to discuss. Goodnight." He finished and McGonagall began ushering the children back to the common room as Snape and Sirius headed down to the dungeons…

"So, what's your poison?" Snape asked, making his best attempt at civility. If they were going to work successfully as a team, they would need to at least be civil.

"Well, seeing as it's you asking, I'll say no to the poison, but I'll have a fire whiskey if you've got it." Snape found the bottle and two glasses, plonked them on his desk and began to pour two very large measures. Each man took a glass, but the bottle remained on the desk, the lid was not replaced.

"I need a drink after today…" confessed Sirius, "Seeing them treat her like that…It makes me so angry!"

"Least you've never had to participate" Snape muttered darkly.

"Isn't that why you joined the death eaters Snivellrus? So you could abuse and oppress those less powerful then yourself - to make you feel big?" Sirius taunted. He was angry, angry about everything, angry about what they had done to Hermione and what they wanted to do to her. He was angry that Harry had no parents, that he had lost his best friend, angry that Hermione wasn't twenty years older, or better still, that he wasn't twenty years younger! Sirius was angry, he needed to lash out, and unfortunately for Snape, he just happened to be the only thing available. "You're just a filthy little death eater who rapes a fifteen year old girl and then, and this is the really shitty bit, you don't object when you're appointed her guardian! Do you honestly think you're fit to be her guardian? She can't stand you!"

"Who else would you have as her guardian Black? You? That's what you want isn't it - to be in a position of power and trust in her life! Don't think we haven't noticed! You're sick black, really sick. It's disgusting! You're old enough to be her father! She trusts you, and I will not have it! Do you hear me black? As long as I am her guardian, I will not have you taking advantage of her! You're a pervert Black!" Sirius was shocked, as was Snape, he inwardly cursed Dumbledore and his bloody _Parentae Vita_ scheme for causing is protective feelings over the girl.

"HOW DARE YOU! I would never, what gives you the bloody right to… do you really think so little of me… that I could be capable of that? Of taking advantage of a sixteen year old girl?" said Sirius dumbfounded. He hated Snape but he still respected him - or at least he had until the events of the summer. Could Snape really have such a low opinion of him?

"You accused me of the same," Snape said calmly despite the bitterness evident in his voice.

"It's different, Hermione likes me, she knows me, you're just her teacher, you don't know her - you should have no rights over her!"

"I have just as much right over Hermione as you do over Harry, and _I will not_ have you hurting her!"

"I would never hurt her" Sirius whispered, comprehension dawning on him, he now understood to a minute extent how Snape felt. Sirius did not choose to care about Harry, it was something inside him that compelled him to do so, it wasn't something he could turn off; maybe this was what Snape had been forced to feel for Hermione by Dumbledore's silly living guardian scheme.

"If you EVER hurt her Black, _I swear_, your life will not be worth living" Growled Snape, as he pointed his wand directly at Sirius' chest.

Sirius drew is own wand, "I never will, but if you imply that I am capable of such things again, that may very well be the last thing you _ever_ imply." Snape opened his mouth to reply but was prevented from doing so when the door burst open, revealing a flustered McGonagall flanked by an irate Hermione and determined Harry and Ron.

"Gentlemen," said McGonagall. They lowered their wands, presuming that something must be wrong.

"What is it Minerva?" asked Sirius, his voice now full of concern.

"Hermione," answered Harry. Sirius and Snape were on her like a shot.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you feel ill?"

"Has someone said something to you?"

"NO!" yelled Hermione, clearly angry at this attention.

"She said she had really bad stomach pains," said Ron, "We thought she might have been poisoned or something, we thought it was best to bring her to see you."

"And like I told you - _They're normal_!"

"Hermione, _please,_ stomach cramps are not normal," said Harry dismissively.

"_They are for teenage girls!" _Hermione yelled, before turning red, Harry and Rona also turned red as realisation hit them. Snape looked uncomfortable, Sirius was trying not to laugh and McGonagall looked angry for being woken in the middle of the night for no reason.

"Boys," said Sirius, "as sure as I am that Hermione appreciates you're concern, maybe you should actually try listening to her in future."

"Whilst we're all here, maybe now is a good time to discuss the arrangements for the Christmas holidays?" said Snape.

"What about them?" asked Hermione.

"Well Miss Granger, it has been decided that you must not stay at school - it would be near empty. Weasley is staying with his family and Potter with Black and it would be too suspicious if you were to follow me or Minerva around for the entire holiday."

"Well can't I just stay with Harry or Ron? You wouldn't mind having me would you Sirius?" Hermione asked

"Of course not, you're _always_ welcome, it's just, there are some complications…Snape?" Hermione turned to Snape, by now she was more then slightly confused.

"Well Miss Granger, this may come as a bit of a shock, but I'm your living guardian" Snape braced himself for a reaction, and after a few seconds of stunned silence it came.

**A/N: A really bad place to end, but it was this or nothing, hope you enjoyed it and hope it wasn't too long to wait even though this probably wasn't worth it. I beg for your patience, life is kind of, well happening at the moment, you know it really is true that it never rains, but it really is pouring at the moment. Hopefully things will calm down soon, until they do, please be patient, Thank you for reading and your lovely reviews. **

**X x x Fiona x x X **


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." Thomas Henry Huxley, _Life and Letters of Thomas Huxley_

"The headmaster realised that in death, one individual could provide protection for another by their 'blood sacrifice', as he put it. It was actually Mr. Potter who demonstrated that Dumbledore's theory actually worked in first year - Quirrel was unable to touch him because of the protection given to Mr. Potter by his mother. The headmaster supposed that to offer this protection, the protector did not have to die, they merely had to be _willing_ to die for another. The headmaster used this to his advantage, he knew that every order member was willing to die if it prevented the rising of the Dark Lord. He reasoned that any child could be instrumental in the downfall of the Dark Lord, and therefore, in Dumbledore's mind at least, any order member would be willing to die for any student, and could therefore become a "living guardian" of any student. He knew that the protection offered by a living guardian wouldn't be as strong as that offered by an actual blood sacrifice, but it was better then nothing. The name of every student was put into the sorting hat, as was the name of every order member. The hat produced a list of students for each order member, for whom they would become "living guardians". These "living guardians" would know if there charge was in danger, and if they were close enough would offer a degree of protection to them. I was chosen as your guardian, Miss Granger, that is why it is imperative that you are near me in the holidays, otherwise I will offer no protection whatsoever, and we want to ensure you are as safe as possible."

For the next few moments there was tense silence, Harry and Ron just looked dumbstruck, Sirius looked murderous, McGonagall worried and Hermione - well, she just looked like Hermione. Analysing the situation, calmly and rationally, using her logic.

"Err… professor?" she broke the silence, "Does this mean that I stay with you, or you with me?"

"That is up to you, Miss Granger" Snape replied.

"Well, I mean to say… I don't think that…. It would be more…. Comfortable if you were to stay with me; that is if your offer still stands Sirius?" She turned from Snape to Sirius. He gazed into her beautiful eyes and was shocked by the vulnerability that he saw resided there.

"Always" he said. Inwardly, he rejoiced. As much as he had hoped Hermione would have refused to have Snape as her guardian, he had known that she was far too logical to do that- but this was the next best outcome. She would spend two weeks with him, in his home, he could protect her and he would have the opportunity to talk to her as a friend rather then a chaperone. But was that really a good thing? Would he be able to stand the temptation that she was? Could he trust himself to be alone with her and well, to put it bluntly, not try anything? He never wanted to hurt her, but could her really trust himself not to? On the quidditch pitch he had managed to delude himself into thinking she loved him, what more could he convince himself of?

He was pulled from his musings by the perplexed voice of Ron.

"Snape - Hermione's guardian? No way, uh uh, not happening. There must have been a mistake - they don't even know each other!" Ron's questions were cut short by the bored voice of Severus Snape.

"I assure you, Mr. Weasley, there is no mistake and I am, as much as it disturbs me, held by a binding magical contract to be Miss Granger's guardian."

"Right, has any one else anything to add? No? Good. I think it is time for bed; gentlemen good night" McGonagall said before ushering Harry, Ron and Hermione back up towards Gryffindor tower. Hermione made her way to her room, she heard McGonagall's voice; "Hermione? Are you alright with all this?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"Yes professor, I'm fine, goodnight" It struck Hermione as soon as the words left her mouth that for the first time in weeks she actually meant them. She was… fine, Hermione made her way to bed, where she had a good nights sleep, which was filled with dreams not nightmares.

It's strange how, sometimes, we need to experience the worst case scenario to make us see just what we are capable of, and just how secure we really are. It's like when you've never been stung by a wasp, you always imagine it to be excruciating pain, but after the first you're stung, it suddenly becomes a lot less frightening. The death eaters had truly stung Hermione, and after seeing them beaten and bound by the order, Hermione fell a lot less afraid, she almost felt like her old self… almost.

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who took the time to read/review this story, it really does mean a lot to me ;-) Also HUGE thanks to Sean who bettered this chapter at such short notice, and to Kyra4 who betters my chapters so well, if only I typed them more then 10minutes before I posted them, lol. Thank you. **

**X x x Fiona x x X **


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"If the world were really a logical place, men would ride side saddle" unknown

"So" said Dumbledore, "Miss Granger knows, not exactly how I would have chosen for her to find out, but still, she seems to have taken it well."

Snape, McGonagall and of course Sirius had gone to see professor Dumbledore after breakfast, they had told him what had transpired the previous night, and the fact that Hermione now knew that Snape was her guardian. They had spent the last half hour discussing this; and all had now agreed that Hermione and Snape would spend Christmas at Sirius'.

"Has any one any other concerns about Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked

"Actually, yes headmaster" Minerva spoke up. "Yesterday I was talking to Hermione; she was saying how…helpless she feels. I think that it might be an idea to… teach her how to defend herself…"

"She already knows, she's one of the best in her year in defence against the dark arts" said Sirius.

"I know, but I was thinking about the more…physical aspects of defence, how to defend herself… without magic" said McGonagall.

As she said this, three sets of eyes looked at Sirius.

"NO" he said, "No, I couldn't, I haven't done for years" he stammered.

"Oh come on Black, we all know that's bull. Even I'll admit that you were the best fighter Hogwarts has seen in a long time!" said Snape.

"I never started fights!" exclaimed Sirius vehemently, "I just knew how to defend myself!"

"Point made" said Snape smugly.

"That was a long time ago. I can't remember half of it, and besides, I wouldn't know the first ting about how to _teach_ it!"

"I very much doubt that. I seem to remember a particularly effective _Black body lock_ that one Mr Potter used not so long ago on a certain Slytherin" Said Dumbledore grinning slightly.

"Harry remembered that?" asked Sirius, obviously proud of his teaching

"Yes Sirius, he did. Now, when would you like to start teaching Miss Granger?"

Sirius sighed. There was no way out, he would have to teach her, mostly because he was the only person who could, but also because he wanted so desperately for her to be happy. However, he still thought that it was a bad idea. It meant that they would be alone together, he could ask Harry and Ron to come too, but as he had already shown Harry most of his 'moves' as it were, and he doubted that Harry would want to learn them again. And if Ron did want to come it meant that Harry would be left alone whilst he was there, either that or be dragged along to the 'lessons', Sirius knew that neither of these solutions would be satisfactory to any involved, and he knew that the boys probably wouldn't have time anyway, they were nearly constantly practising quidditch. Nope, he would have to be alone with her. Teaching self defence means getting very, very close. Sirius didn't know if he or Hermione could handle that, he had seen the way she tried to avoid physical contact, not so much anymore, but he didn't know what kind of memories would be brought up while he was "attacking" her. He was worried about himself as well, he thought he would be able to keep control of his actions, but he wasn't quite as sure about his body's _reactions_, that would certainly be the… harder (for want of a better word, lol) aspect or the lessons. And then what would Hermione say? It didn't bear thinking about, but what could he do? He had no reason to refuse to give her lessons, at least no reasons that he could repeat to the other teachers without being strung up by his toe nails. He had to d it.

He did some quick thinking, it would be best to have the lesson on a Friday, as that meant that if something did happen, he wouldn't have to see her for two days, which meant he would have more time to come up with a reasonable and credible explanation.

"Friday evening" he said "I think that would be best"

"Very well" said Dumbledore, "Friday evening it is. Would you like to tell Miss Granger after dinner?" It wasn't a question so much as a very subtle order, still Sirius nodded.

After much pacing, several walks to an from classes and two meals, Sirius made his way slowly up to Gryffindor tower under the protection of an invisibility cloak. The boys would be going to quidditch practice, Hermione would be left alone and although Sirius didn't have to supervise her in the common room, it was thought appropriate after the recent events that he did, especially considering they had the defence lessons to discuss. He arrived a few minutes early so that he had plenty of time to pace and worry how he was going to phrase this. Soon (a lot sooner then Sirius would have liked) the portrait door swung open and Harry and Ron were clambering out of it.

"Have a good time" whispered Sirius, the boys nodded to show they had heard and continued towards their quidditch pitch.

Sirius climbed through the portrait hole. Instantly he saw her, she was sitting by the fire; reading of course. The common room was unusually full so it took him a long time to make his way over to her. Eventually he reached her, he bent down and whispered "Hello Hermione" She nodded ever so slightly, just enough to show Sirius that she had heard him. A slight frown appeared on her face, Hermione was still mortified about what she had said to him on the quidditch pitch, and although she was thankful that he hadn't mentioned it, part of her felt slightly angry at him, part of her wished he would say something, just acknowledge, hint even, that he had actually heard her, I mean, she didn't even know if _he had heard her_, she could be worrying over nothing, not that it was anything to begin with even if he had heard, just some mumbled words said in the heat of, well _kind of_, battle, when she was faced with his death, I mean, she was emotional anyway, he couldn't really think she had been serious even if he had heard, she couldn't really think she was serious… Shame really that people in love tend not to think to clearly isn't it? (Smirking grin from the author)

After Hermione had read another five pages of the book, Sirius bent down again and whispered in her ear;

"Hermione, we need to talk" Shit! Shit shit shit! Oh my God, he was going to try and talk to her, what would she say, what could be her excuse? Did she really want an excuse? What was he going to say? Oh my God! The stress, she really couldn't cope with all this. "Can we go somewhere where we can actually talk, in private?"

Hermione thought for a minute, she glanced around the common room, she saw that all her dorm mates were accounted for and then muttered

"Follow me" very slyly out of the corner of her mouth. She the gracefully stood up and made her way across the common room and up to her dormitory. Sirius followed tentatively at first, but then he remembered that as he was no longer classed as an adolescent boy, but as a member of the order or even Hogwarts staff by extension , that the stairs would not turn into a slide when he tried to get into the girls' dorms. Once inside he sealed the door and cast a silencing charm before he removed the cloak. He glanced at Hermione, she seemed nervous,

"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong" He said in an attempt to placate her. "In fact, you might go as far as to say that I have good news. You told McGonagall that one of the things worrying you was your inability to defend yourself without magic. To this at least, we have the solution. I'm going to teach you practical self defence, that is if you want me to."

"Err… yeah, sounds good" was all the response Hermione could utter. She was taken aback by this, not only was Sirius talking to her normally, but he was actually offering to teach her. This was almost concrete proof that he hadn't heard what she had said that day on the quidditch pitch, surely if he had of done, he wouldn't be treating her normally, and he certainly wouldn't be offering her help.

"I'm free on Friday evenings if that's ok with you?" Sirius' voice interrupted her musings.

"Yeah, that'd be great" Hermione replied.

**A/N: I can not apologise enough, I am so so so so so so so so so sorry, life just kinda got in the way, and to add insult to injury, I can't find my handwritten plan/ actual chapters of this story, I think my mum may have binned it thinking it was an old school book, so I really don't know when I'm going to get the next chapter up. Life once again just seems to be happening, sorry. Thank you for your patience and continued support- especially Rane.**

**X x X x X**

**Fiona**

**P.S: this isn't proofed, thought it would be better then nothing though.**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"_We do not remember days; we remember moments." Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand_

It was midnight, Hermione was still awake, the events of the previous night running through her mind. They didn't seem real, it couldn't be real, it was an odd feeling, looking back on an event that one knew couldn't possible have happened, like a dizzy state of half consciousness.

It couldn't have happened. No, it must have been some obscure hallucination. It could not have possibly happened, it was inconceivable that Sirius would…that she would…no, it couldn't have happened. And yet that little nagging part of her mind (the part from which her logic originated) _knew_ that it had happened.

She had kissed him….well…he had kissed her….they kissed. Hermione Granger, sixteen year old know it all bod, had kissed Sirius bad ass Black, (wrongly) convicted criminal, not to mention the fact that he was more then old enough to be her father! It was vile, it was repulsive. How could she have let that happen?

She had gone down to have her first self defence lesson, it was to be held in an old, and long sealed corridor, very secluded corridor so as not student would stumble across them late at night and assume the worst (which as it turned out, they would have been correct to assume) still, it was imperative that the crashing of furniture and bodies could not be heard. Hermione had gone down at eight thirty; Sirius had been waiting for her.

They had started with a few basic moves, after discussing the kind of thing Hermione wanted to learn. She wanted to be able to defend herself, without a wand, and under surprise attack, Sirius had discussed the things he could teach her, and she was eager to learn. They began, first, he would let her try and grab him, and then he would show her step by step how to escape and immobilise the attacker. Then they would swap roles, and Hermione would go through the manoeuvre until she got it right, and was confident at it. Then, right at the very end of the session, Sirius had asked her if she wanted to put her new found skills to the test, she eagerly agreed. The started in one position that Hermione easily wriggled out of, then another, slightly harder to escape from, then another and another, each getting progressively harder, and Sirius' grip getting harder and harder, more and more realistic. Until eventually he won, she was pinned against the wall, their faces where inches from each others, she was staring into his unfathomable onyx eyes, she couldn't read them, and became aware that he was trying equally hard to read hers.

She became very aware of her heart beat, or was it his, they were pressed against each other so hard. She was sure now that it was his heart beat she was feeling, and she noted it was racing, as she was sure hers was. They remained like that for no more then ten seconds, yet to both of them it seemed like an eternity. She realised she was blushing, and so attempted to continue with the manoeuvre as if nothing was peculiar, she moved a little to the right, Sirius followed her, she moved her face down, his face followed, all the while becoming closer and closer to hers, they were now breathing each others breath, his and hers intertwining, joining, forming one gentle breath.

And then, it happened, neither of them were sure who initiated it, but it happened. Their lips met, they held each other a little harder, and well…they kissed. It lasted for around a minute before Sirius realised what a sick bastard he was, how perverted and paedophilic he was and pulled away.

"Forgive me Hermione" he said before hurrying out the door.

"Sirius" she whispered. He heard, but pretended he did not as he made his way down the corridor. Before he knew it he was outside, under the stars, running wildly in his Animagus form, emotions were simpler like that, he didn't have to think about the wrong he had just done, or more importantly, he didn't have to acknowledge the fact that it hadn't felt wrong, that it had felt like the most natural thing he had done since being released form Azkaban.

Meanwhile, Hermione was doing some serious thinking of her own, typical really, Sirius ran from his emotions, whilst Hermione analysed hers' scientifically. She couldn't believe it, had it actually happened? She made her way back to the Gryffindor tower, so consumed by her thoughts that she failed to realise she was doing something very dangerous, more dangerous then falling in love with Sirius Black, she was walking alone at night through seemingly deserted corridors…

The corridor was not deserted, in fact, Hermione was being followed. Her stalker made no sound so as not to startle her, in fact, he had taken the precaution of becoming invisible. He made no attempt to harm her as he followed her stealthily back to the tower, ensuring she was safely through the portrait hole before he made himself visible. If anyone else had been in the deserted corridor, they would have been surprised to see the daunting figure of Severus Snape shaking with suppressed rage.

He had witnessed all that had gone on in that room, compelled by the Parentae Vitae spell to follow her, he had watched as that slimy pervert Black make his moves on her, getting braver and braver until he had eventually kissed her, had Snape not been in a state of immobilising shock when it happened, he would have punched black immediately, Black had however stopped before Snape had chance. Snape had composed himself, followed Hermione back to the tower to ensure she got there safely, and was now debating whether to find Black and confront him or to inform Dumbledore. Without realising, his feet had taken him to Dumbledore's office, he had given the password, ascended the circular staircase, it was the sound of his hand against the wooden door that had jolted him back to reality. He stood outside the office and waited for Dumbledore's response.

"Come in".

**A/N: ok, erm, time for major apologies. I am extremely sorry. I know there's not really any excuse but I shall attempt to give one anyway. I've had a series of nastily exhausting wicked tests (AS levels), I'm attempting to learn to drive, I've been completely obsessed with reading and re-reading the half blood prince (any opinions welcomed in extremely welcomed reviews! Lol) and also I've found love (well…the version of it for seventeen year olds) and he's taking lots of my time at the moment and will most likely continue to do so. **

**However, I broke up from school last week, so I have lots of time (ish) so am going to attempt to get back on track with this story, despite the fact I've lost the original transcript.**

**I am truly sorry. Thank you to the reviewers who were more loyal then me! (especially Rane- seriously, when the hell did you break up from school? Some over here don't finish until the 28th of July! (I finished on the 15th by the way)).**

**Sorry again, **

**xXx Fiona xXx**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." Oscar Wilde, _The Picture of Dorian Gray_, 1891

"**How can you let this happen? This is ridiculous. It can not be allowed! You _must _do something! HOW CAN YOU NOT?"** roared Severus Snape, He had informed the headmaster of what he had witnessed, and to his surprise, Dumbledore had not condemned Black, he had not declared it disgusting, instead, he had sat their, the smallest smile playing on his lips, that familiar twinkle in his eye, nodding gently, playing the part of the benevolent omniscient grandfather, _knowing_ not suspecting, that two of his favourites were destined for each other and would live happily every after. His smiling face sickened Snape almost as much as that slimy bastard Black did. How could they not see anything wrong with what was going on? Sirius was old enough to be Hermione's father, she had just been through an extremely traumatic experience, who in their right mind would not see a problem with some old womaniser taking up with a young, a very young student, not to mention a rape victim, moreover a student who had been placed in his care!

"How can you let him use her like this?" Snape said more quietly "We all know what Black's like, I mean, I don't blame Black for wanting the girl, I'm sure the majority of the teachers have at some stage been attracted to one of the older students, in the real world it wouldn't be considered wrong, but in a school world it is condemnable. However, most of us have the sense never to even consider acting on these feelings, but Black…well…he's always been a womaniser, and well…the man has no self restraint! How can you let him ruin her?"

"Ruin her? I assure you Severus, Black has no intention of 'ruining' her. He has known miss Granger for the past three years, never once in that time, tonight included, has he ever, ever given any indication that he intends to 'ruin' her, love her? Always. Ruin her, use her? Never."

Snape remained unconvinced, however, that would have to do for tonight, he bade goodbye to Dumbledore, and made his way back to his living quarters. He had been slightly appeased by Dumbledore's statement. Dumbledore was rarely wrong about these things, and again, although he would never admit it, the relationship Black had formed with Harry, Ron and Hermione was reminiscent of his own with Draco. Black obviously cared about them and wanted to do right by them, however, Snape was not certain that this would overpower (or at least play a part in) Black's lust, after all, past experience had shown that he could "resist anything but temptation". And what about Hermione's part in all of this? Well, Snape had never even considered the fact that _she_ might _like_ Black, that she might _want_ a relationship with him. This is often the mistake of over protective males (and females to a lesser extent) they forget….what's the phrase? That it takes two to tango. Snape was seriously underestimating Hermione's feelings in all of this, but so to was Sirius…

It was two o'clock in the morning when Sirius began his return to the castle in the form of pad foot, he must've run at least a hundred miles that night, he had been past Hogsmeade, up to the mountain where they had visited him in fourth year, into the cave, but there the memories of her were too strong even in his dog form, he travelled on past the mountain, through the Scottish wilderness, he took little notice of where he travelled, the dull sound of his paws on the solid, clean earth were soothing, if he concentrated on that sound, the rhythmic thump, he didn't have to think about her, what he felt for her, least what she might feel for him. He just kept moving, without realising it, he had begun his journey homewards, he was once again pounding the familiar streets of Hogsmeade as he had so often done in the dead of night three years ago when he first met her. Again, without thinking he found himself at the shrieking shack, climbing in through one of the broken windows, and making his way to the room where he had first set eyes on her…

_"Mr. Black... Sirius?" Sirius jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her."_

God, she was so young then, so naïve, yet the thread of confidence that was so prevalent in her now had been just as present there. But she was so young, still…so young, too young, defiantly too young, sixteen for god's sake! It was wrong. Thinking of his first meeting should have made Sirius realize how young Hermione still was, and how wrong it was for him to have these feelings, but instead, it made him make the subconscious comparison between young Hermione, and the grown-up Hermione, visions of the latter filled his mind, even in dog form he felt a strong surge of emotion. How she had changed in three short years, not only physically but in many other ways, her confidence had soared, her intellect had become less abrasive, and she had defiantly relaxed, lots. Yet it was the physical changes that were most marked, she had defiantly filled out, she wasn't stunning, she was no super model, and yet, in her own Hermione way, she was….perfect. Glossy curls, nipped in waist, slender figure, and a beautiful face…she was a vision…she was a woman now. He couldn't help it, he loved her. But it was never going to happen, he had to accept that…he would get over her, she was just a girl, that's all, this was Sirius sex siren Black after all, he would get over it, he just had to get away from her, he would resign… get away from her, he would face the holidays when they came.

He made his way back in dog form, he made his way to his room, helped himself to more measures of fire whisky then he could count, before collapsing in an alcohol induced coma.

**A/N: again, sorry for the delay in an update, been on my holidays, (Spain if you're interested, was good, got attacked by a jellyfish, hehe). Updates should get more regular again now, thanks for the patience and loyalty (especially Rane)**

**Thank you**

**X x x Fiona x x X  
**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

"Dumbledore, you just don't understand! I'm leaving, that's final, I _can not_ stay here any longer. Please, _please_ Albus, send me on a mission, give me an assignment, anything, just get me away from this place!" Sirius Black had spent the past ten minutes inventing reasons in an attempt to justify why he must leave Hogwarts. He lowered his voice; "Albus, I'm _begging_ you, I _have_ to leave"

"Running away from your problems rarely solves them Sirius, as you and I both know. I will not accept your resignation…I refuse. Now, that little moment of madness passed, let us return to more practical things…like for instance, when are you going to... _what's that phrase you folks use?_...Ah yes, when are you 'going to ask Miss Granger out?' Finished Dumbledore with a grin.

Sirius sat mute, dumbfounded at this revelation. Dumbledore knew. He knew how Sirius felt about Hermione, Sirius also guessed from his previous reactions that Dumbledore also knew about the kiss, and yet Dumbledore was not condemning Sirius as he had expected, in actual fact, quite the opposite was true. Dumbledore was positively _encouraging_ him to have a relationship with Hermione!

"I…I don't know what you mean Albus" Stuttered Sirius having eventually regained the power of speech.

"Now Sirius, please do not insult my intelligence of your own, we both know what I'm on about, we are both very aware of how you feel about Miss Granger, let us now discuss the next step you will take, after all, it is not only your feeling we must consider, but also Miss Granger's."

"That's the precise reason why there is nothing for us to discuss Albus. I can't out this on her, especially not after all she's been through! _I wont. She wont_ want some lecherous middle aged convict!

-"Is that really how you see yourself Sirius? Is that how you really see your feelings for Hermione?"

"Of course not!" exclaimed Sirius vehemently "But what's to stop Hermione and every one else seeing it like that!"

"The fact, Sirius, That it is clear to see to whosoever chooses to look for such things that not only do you _love_ miss Granger, but that _she loves you! _You are destined for each other."

"You need new spectacles old man… Hermione has never once…never said….never given any sign that she feels about me as I do about her!"

"Hasn't she? I think that it is not me that needs glasses… Mister Black. Did Hermione not save your life, did she not worry about you, did she not console you…did she not admit she loved you? How can you be so blind Sirius! Has she not trusted you absolutely …in every way, to always do what you must for what's best for her?" Sirius was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about what the headmaster had said.

"How can I betray that trust?"

"My dear boy, can't you see that loving her would not betray that trust, but fulfil it? You could do nothing better for her then to make her happy by offering her all the love you have to give her. Please promise me you will talk to her…you owe this "old man" that much at least. I just want to see you happy, _both of you_" he added wryly, God bless him, Dumbledore should have been a lawyer or a salesman, he could sell sand to a desert! Sirius had gone to Dumbledore's office this morning with one single objective; to get himself as far away from Hermione Granger as possible, and now all he could think of was finding her.

X x X x X x X

"Hermione…get your arse down here- were going to be late!" Hollered Ron. Him and Harry had quidditch practice and had decided that it was best from now on if they dragged Hermione with them, they didn't even want to leave her alone in the safety of the Gryffindor common room. But now Hermione was late, the boys suspected she was attempting to cram another book into an already crammed bag- so at least she could do some work while the boys were ridiculously over protective of her- humph!

In actual fact, Hermione was pacing her dormitory, she knew that she would have to face Sirius at the practice and she really _really_ didn't' want to! She didn't know what to do, how to react. _Sirius had kissed her_, not the other way round, right? Did that mean _he_ liked her too? Could he possibly feel for her as she felt for him? Or was he just lonely or confused? What was going on inside that head of his? How could he put her through this? Well…if he wasn't going to be grown up about this she would. She would face it head on, she would march right down to that quidditch pitch and ask him what the hell he was playing at! First, he had ignored her when she said she loved him, he had pretended it had never happened, and now, now he was kissing her? Talk about mixed messages! Giving her false hopes, well, she would have to talk to him and finally sort things out!

"Coming" she yelled, glancing at the mirror, pulling her scarf a little tighter around her neck, and with a small nod of approval she marched down the steps.

"Finally" muttered Ron under her breath.

Outside the portrait hole Sirius was waiting dutifully under the invisibility cloak. He was determinedly staring straight ahead (not that they could tell) and he had a stern, almost tortured on his face. He coughed to alert them to his presence.

"Sorry we're late" Whispered Harry, casting a telling look at Hermione.

"'S'ok" Whispered Sirius. In truth, he'd been grateful for their delay, it had given him time to think about what he would say to Hermione. He was mire nervous then he should have been, however on seeing Hermione's cool determined face, he wondered if possible his nerves were well founded.

The headed down to the quidditch pitch in near silence, for some reason it didn't seem there was much to say.

Hermione waved goodbye to the boys before making her way to the stands, she settled herself about halfway up, in the middle of the stands on the south side so that the mid-morning sun shone from behind her, illuminating the books she quickly lay out around her. Sirius, following a few moments later, after making sure the boys were safely in the changing room, glanced around the stands in an attempt to find Hermione, was greeted by a vision of perfection. Hermione; her beautiful glossy curls reflecting a million times the sun's light and a million times it's beauty. 'She was a goddess.' Sirius thought as she sat calmly reading, completely oblivious to his attention, she was easily the most beautiful thing Sirius had ever seen.

**A/N: again sorry for the delay, and the shortness, I'm going to try and get back into regular updates, however, I'm not promising anything, but hopefully once a month I'll update. Again, thank you for continued support, and again apologies for lateness and the fact that I've not had this proof read. **

**X x x Fiona x x X**


	41. Chapter 41: An Interesting Refusal

Chapter 41. An Interesting Refusal.

The sight of her, sitting there, so beautiful, so pure, made what he was about to do ten times harder. Yet he had to do it. He must, despite what Dumbledore had said, Sirius could not bring himself to…to pursue a relationship with her. How could he really? It would be like killing a unicorn, he would be interfering with something that was so pure, so wonderful, it would be sacrilege.

Dumbledore did not know what he was talking about, he had been wrong before, and he was wrong about this, how could he really expect Hermione to love Sirius? It just didn't make any sense. It was with these thoughts running painfully through his overwrought mind that Sirius climbed the steep stone steps to where Hermione had positioned herself. He sat, quietly as not to startle her, he didn't want her to see him yet. He wanted a few more seconds in which to drink in this beautiful creature before him. Only when he was certain that no one else could see him, did Sirius feel free to really see her. He could gaze at her lovingly, absorbing every feature of her perfect face, he could appreciate the soft curves of her figure, and the way her hair was never quite in place. He could allow himself to smile at the way she absentmindedly placed her quill to her lips when attempting to phrase a particularly difficult sentence. He could watch as the light played about her beautiful brown eyes, whether it be a mischievous twinkle, or a spark of intelligence, all were visible within those stunning, mesmerising eyes.

'O_h dear god'_ thought Sirius, he really was in so deep, he was not sure when he had first realised his feelings for Hermione, he was not sure when slight twinges of lust had turned into love. All he knew was at that moment in time, he felt as if there was only her, there was no time, no life, no death, no age, just her. He was indeed truly, madly and deeply in love with her. And he hated himself for it.

It may seem strange to an observer, but such a strong surge of feeling can prompt some one to act in an incredibly strange manner, even the great Sirius Black is susceptible to this strange effect that makes all logic and common sense fly out the window. So, with the new found knowledge that he did indeed love Hermione more then life itself, he was resolved even more strongly to tell her that they could never be together, and that it would never work.

"Hermione…" he asked, but before he could continue any further she cut across him, knowing instantly that it was him;

"I think we should talk about what happened last night, I mean, we're both adults here, and I think we should be mature enough to be able to tell each other our feelings." She said, attempting to sound a lot more mature then she felt, and hoping desperately that she wasn't blushing, which incidentally she was.

"Hermione, it doesn't matter how I feel, this simply can not work, even if you wanted it to, which I doubt very much that you would. I care for you very much Hermione, too much to allow myself to act on any feelings I have towards you. I'm so sorry for all that I've put you through, my actions this year have not been those of a logical man, but one who is in love. I promise you though, it will stop now, it has to. I'm so sorry Hermione" it had taken a lot for Sirius to admit all this, he had spoken quietly and yet with a kind of determination that is rarely seen, it was as though by admitting his feelings, he had somewhat lessened the burden that they presented to him. He felt marginally better.

Hermione on the other had felt as thought she had been walloped round the dead with a caldron. What the bloody hell was Sirius going on about? She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but it most certainly hadn't been Sirius Black professing his love for her! She was so confused, she sat in stunned silence for what seemed like an hour, but in reality can't have been more then a moment or so. What should she say? After issuing a plea for maturity and honesty, she now had the strange desire to giggle, and was certain that she was most definitely blushing.

It was Sirius not her who broke the silence. "I've said all I have to say on the matter, now I think we should forget that this ever happened, and should-"

Hermione cut him off, "No" she said bluntly. He looked back at her, stunned. "No, I mean, I don't think that we've said all there is to say, and I don't think that we should forget this ever happened. I…oh my god I can't believe I'm saying this, but, I, well, I really like you, and I think that maybe we should try to…"

It was now Hermione's turn to be interrupted, as Sirius practically growled "No. we can't." it cost him so much to say that, here was this beautiful creature telling him that it wasn't all in his head, that he had a chance at…well…some form of relationship with her, and he had to stop her. He could not be with her. "Hermione, you are wonderful, you're intelligent, and strong and brave and you have more balls then most men I've ever met!" At this he managed a near genuine sounding laugh, he looked at her face, he couldn't help but glance into those beautiful eyes, he saw that they were full of tears and felt as if someone was physically digging spikes into his heart. He couldn't help it, he cupped her face in his hands, they were close now, he could feel the warm intoxicating drug that was her breath, he had to carry on before it was to late…

"Hermione we can not do this. I can not do this too you, I'm too old, and your too young, your too pure and too good for me." He again attempted a smile. "_I refuse to do it,_ I will not ruin your life."

"But Sirius…please"

"Don't tempt me Hermione" a fire blazed in his deep onyx eyes. Hermione could see what this was costing him, she knew she should stop, but she couldn't. She had a strange sensation somewhere around her midriff, it was a cross between butterflies and the sensation one experienced when using a portkey, had she been a little older, or a little more experienced, she may have recognised it as on of the many symptoms of love. She did not recognise this feeling yet, but she knew that it was important, she knew that it had something to do with Sirius, and she knew that it was telling her that it would be the worst thing in the world if she was to let him go right now.

"I, I think I'm falling in love with you, please Sirius, can't we just… I don't know, talk about this? I mean, I don't know what I mean, this all feels so strange, the only thing that I know is that, is that when I'm with you, I feel more like me then I do with anyone else. When I'm with you, it's just so much better then when… I'm not." She trailed off lamely, as Sirius wiped a tear from her eye. "Listen to me going on, I sound like I'm in one of those dreadful teen movies!" she bravely attempted to laugh,

"A what?" asked Sirius looking slightly bemused.

"Dreadful soppy love films" She giggled again, as she did so Sirius could not help thinking that he had never heard a more beautiful sound. "So" she attempted to keep her voice sounding as relaxed as if they had been discussing nothing more then the weather, "what now?" she asked.

"Hermione, you've got to understand this, it doesn't matter how we feel, nothing can happen between us. There is, nothing now. Please Hermione, don't ask me again, because I don't know how many more times I will be able to give that answer. It all has to end here." He finished gravely, by this point he had taken his hands away from her face, he was staring determinedly at the floor. It was costing him all his self restraint not to sweep her into his arms and hold her tightly and kiss her, and as we are all aware from previous events, Mr. Black does not posses that much self restraint.

"But why?" asked Hermione, looking slightly confused, and very sad.

"Because I can't do this to you Hermione, I can not ruin your life, you don't want me, not really, and I refuse to be the man who, well who changes you. You don't realise it now Hermione, but your first love will change you, and I don't want to take responsibility for that change, you're perfect as you are now. I can not be the man who does that. _I refuse_."

BANG! Whatever Sirius had been expecting it had not been that. He put his hand to his cheek where Hermione had slapped him.

"AND WHAT ABOUT ME! DON'T I GET A SAY IN ANY OF THIS? HOW DARE YOU!" she practically screamed, it was only due to the roaring wind that Harry and Ron didn't hear her. Sirius sat there stunned.

"What?" he stammered feebly.

"What on Earth makes you think that you have the right to make these decisions for me! I am fed up of everyone always thinking they know what's best for me. This is not some stupid silly teenage rant!" She added, as the hint of a smirk played delicately across Sirius' face, it was almost as if she could tell what he had been thinking…typical teenage girl rebellion.

"I have faced more then most grown witches and I've not complained about it once, not once! How many times have you faced Voldemort Sirius? How many hours of your life have you spent under the Crucious curse? Have you ever been raped?" she didn't wait for answers. "NO! You haven't, you have no idea of the hell I went through then, or the prejudice I face every single day of my life because of the fact that I'm a _filthy little mudblood_, not to mention _female_! So how dare you sit there and tell me that you don't want to corrupt me, that you can't be the man who does that? IT'S ALLREADY BEEN DONE! I'm fed up of men trying to protect me, when they have no idea what they should be protecting me _from_! And now you, the great and the good Sirius Black, have the audacity to sit there and tell me that you refuse to let me be in love with you? Well I won't let you, no. I don't care about what you say, I can see in your eyes that you feel the same way! We've both had our share of hardship, and now you're telling me that we can't have even a chance of happiness together, well I don't believe it. **_I refuse to_**" and with that, Hermione Granger, Gryffindor know it all and sixteen year old girl practically launched herself at Sirius Black, pulling him into a crushing embrace, which he could not help but return. His lips slowly found their way to hers, and it felt miraculous. It felt right, the outside world no longer existed, it was just the two of them, timeless, ageless, selfless.

AN: I'm back. Summer time to actually write.

I'm very sorry about the way I attempted to kind of finish this story, now hopefully I'll be able to do things properly.

A huge thank you to all the loyal reviewers, I only hope you're still reading.

X x x Fiona x x X


	42. Chapter 42: A Discovery

Chapter 42: A Discovery 

"See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little". Pope John XXIII

The practice was going well, the chasers were working seamlessly, and Ron was managing to save the vast majority of their shots despite this! Harry was just glad to be out on the quidditch pitch again. After all that had been going on these past few weeks, he just constantly felt like his head was about to explode, he had so much to think about, he now completely understood why wizards like Dumbledore needed a penseive. But for Harry a good flight on the firebolt had the same effect, as soon as he had kicked off he had felt his mind magically emptying of all thoughts that did not concern that tiny golden snitch.

He had been thinking too much lately, ever since he found out about the prophesy, and even more so since he had discovered the ordeal that Hermione had been forced to go through. He could not help blaming himself for this, it was as though he felt guilty, he knew that logically he should not, as Dumbledore had explained, Hermione did kind of represent an anti- Voldemort, still, Harry felt that had she not been his best friend, she would not have been as high up on the Death eaters' hit list. However, that was not to be thought about now, quidditch…

He began scanning the pitch once again for any hint of gold, as his eyes travelled over the goal posts, he was surprised to see that Ron was not there. The mystery of where exactly Ron was was solved milliseconds later, as a crimson and orange blur shot past Harry, who didn't even have time to think before lurching forward to grip the back of Ron's robes, jerking him to a sudden stop.

By this time Harry had seen what Ron was speeding towards. Hermione and some dark haired man were sitting intertwined halfway up the quidditch pitch, they shifted slightly and Harry was now able to see the face of the dark haired man…

"Sirius! Bloody Sirius!" yelled Ron.

By this point they were attracting rather a lot of attention from their team mates, and Harry sensing that it would be best not to expose Hermione and Sirius to the rest of the school yet, quickly diverted attention away from them.

"It's all right, Ron's just not feeling too well, we'll be fine in a minute, you lot carry on." He shouted to the rest of the team, before turning to Ron whose face was as red as his flaming hair. He looked murderous. "Not now," said Harry calmingly gesturing significantly to their team mates, as Ron started to utter a string of expletives that would have made Fred and George blush. "Later. Wait until practice is over"

"You're the bloody captain Harry! Finish it!" Ron yelled

"I can't until I've got the snitch," protested Harry

"Well then hurry up and catch it you plonker!"

No sooner had these words left Ron's mouth, when Harry went into a death defying dive, he had seen the snitch hovering inches above the grass. As he plummeted towards the earth, Harry could not help but feel a sense of recklessness, he was doing this because he wanted to, not because some teacher told him he must, not because it was written in a prophesy, but because he enjoyed it. He was tempted for the briefest of moments not to pull up from the dive, just to see what happened, to see if he could escape the fate the prophesy had created for him. A gasp from the watching quidditch team brought him back to his senses, and he pulled out of the dive with not a second to spare. He considered for a moment what he had just been thinking about, bloody hell he was stressed. He looked over to Ron, still glowering, and to Hermione was now cheering wildly, and couldn't help but wonder if their lives would be simpler if he wasn't in them…

He pulled himself together, dismissed the team, praising them on their excellent performance, locked the balls away and changed slowly. Ron on the other hand changed in record speed, before storming back onto the pitch and making his way quickly through the near empty stadium to where Hermione and Sirius were sitting, pretending as though nothing had happened!

"SIRIUS! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" roared Ron. Sirius looked slightly confused, but this did not last for long, as Ron continued his tirade. "SHE'S SIXTEEN! SIXTEEN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SICK BLACK, REALLY SICK!" By this time Harry was now changed and out in the stadium too, witnessing his godfather take, quite calmly this torrent of abuse from his best friend. It was then that he heard Hermione's voice, it sounded shaken but resolute, there was a dignity, a determination too it that Harry had only rarely heard before… he remembered with a smile, Hermione convincing them to brew polyjuice potion, or slapping Malfoy in third year, he remembered her in fifth year telling Hagrid that he should be proud of who he was as she was hammering on his door. He now heard her using this tone to tell Ron that in no uncertain terms, she and Sirius Black were in love.

Harry was stunned. They couldn't be serious, could they? Harry had caught Sirius looking at her strangely on occasion, but not looking at her as though he loved her, surely not? Harry stood quietly and waited for an explanation.

Ron however took a different approach. He yelled and he yelled, he called Sirius all the names under the sun, he refused to listen to Hermione and was certain that Sirius must be taking advantage of her. So much so, that he stormed from the stadium, yelling that he was going to tell Dumbledore.

The others traipsed quietly behind him, Hermione and Sirius had nothing more to say, Harry was just too shocked to say anything. He looked pleadingly to his Godfather, who looked apologetically back;

"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't ask for this to happen, in fact I've been dreading it, but you know Hermione, once she's made up her mind…" He trailed off, "I love her Harry, I really do." There was something about those eyes, Harry knew at that instant that Sirius was telling the truth, he knew that this was not just delusional lust, but love, he knew that Sirius would never willingly hurt her, and he nodded, half smiling to his Godfather, who positively beamed back.

"Fondant Fancy" Ron practically yelled as they reached the stone gargoyle which sprang suddenly aside. They mounted the spiral staircase, Ron didn't wait for it to move, but instantly began running up it. When he reached the top, he hammered on the huge oak doors, a calm voice replied;

"Enter"

**A/N: Well, I'm back now, if you haven't already done so, you should re-read chapter 41, I deleted the plan I put up, and got back to writing some actual chapters. Please review, I'd like to know if any one is still reading this. **

**Thank you.**

**Fiona x x x **


	43. Chapter 43: A Bludger to the Head

Chapter 43: A Bludger to the Head

"Remedy it, or welcome it: a wise man's only two choices." Terri Guillemets

Albus Dumbledore faced them, a slight smile crossed his face as he saw Sirius gently guide Hermione through the door, his hand pressed against the small of her back. Dumbledore couldn't help but smile when he saw that Sirius although looking slightly worried, somehow had a look of…contentment about him. The look on Ron's face was also quite amusing to Dumbledore.

Ron was so angry that he could barely get his words out, he eventually managed to stammer;

"Black, he, he, he's taking advantage of…he's…she's…she can't know what she's doing, I mean, well…HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"

"Ron, please, calm yourself, now, would anybody like to explain?" Dumbledore asked, although Sirius felt sure that he already knew the answer. Still, Sirius began to explain;

"Ron, and Harry, they say me and Hermione…I took your advice Albus, reluctant as I was, Hermione, well, you know what she's like when her minds made up" both men grinned, as Hermione blushed, "she changed my mind. I love her Albus. I know it might seem a little…unconventional, but I really do like her, and I think" he glanced at Hermione, smiling, "that she likes me too."

"Sirius, I am insulted," laughed Dumbledore "I did not need you too explain the blindingly obvious Sirius!"

"WHAT?" Bellowed Ron, "You can't seriously be ok with this? This is madness, am I the only one who can see something wrong with this?" It was strange, thought Dumbledore, how similar Ron sounded to Snape, for two people who hated each other so much, they had surprisingly similar attitudes, especially towards this.

"Mr. Weasley, as I have explained previously to wizards much older and much wiser then yourself, love is more powerful, more compelling, more utterly consuming then any other form of magic. It can make you happier then you ever believed possible, it can give you such strength that you feel nothing can hurt you, and yet love itself can be more painful then any kind of torture yet devised by man. There is nothing in this world that compares to it. You can not control such a powerful force, you do not choose to love some one, nor can you choose to stop loving them. If only life was that simple." Dumbledore smiled to himself, as did Sirius, he sighed then continued, now speaking more to Hermione and Sirius,

"Now, first let me offer my congratulations, it is nice to see that even in such times of trouble, love can still flourish. Now, personally I see no reason why you two would want to hide your relationship, however, I will respect your decision if you choose that you do not want this to become public knowledge just yet. I will even offer to obliviate the boys memories, if you so wish." At this Ron opened his mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced by Dumbledore, who it appeared had preformed a silencing charm, er…silently.

Hermione spoke for the first time since they had entered the office, she spoke not to Dumbledore, but to Harry;

"What do you think about all this Harry?" Harry didn't quite know what he thought, he knew he should be happy that two people who he loved very much had found some happiness, but he couldn't quite get his head round it. Hermione, his classmate, his friend, and his godfather, who was, quite literally old enough to be his father, it just couldn't be real. However, Harry knew what it felt like to incur society's displeasure, he had spent most of his second and his fifth year, being hated by many people, he didn't want them to feel the same things… Not knowing what to actually say, he decided to tell the truth

"Well, I'm happy that you two are well…happy, but, I'm just struggling to get my head round it at the moment, I can't imagine you two together, properly, not yet any way. And I don't think you know how much abuse you're going to get for this, especially you Sirius." He looked towards his godfather, who simply grimaced and muttered

"I've been through worse"

"And so have I" added Hermione, taking Sirius' hand in her own.

Harry could do nothing but smile, "Well the, erm, I wish you every happiness, God, this feels like I'm giving you my blessing or something!" he laughed, as did Sirius, and then a note of panic came into Harry's voice as he asked "You're not are you, getting married I mean?"

It was now Hermione's turn to laugh, "No!" she exclaimed through her laughter, "Right, so, what do we do now?" asked Hermione, 'practical as always' thought Sirius.

"Well," said Dumbledore, "that depends mainly on you two. What would you like to do now?"

"Well, it's up to Hermione, I really don't mind,"

"I think it's for the best if we keep quiet about it" she glanced nervously at Sirius to check that he _actually_ didn't mind, it seemed that he didn't so she carried on "just for now, I mean, for one I don't think Ron could handle it, and I don't even what to think about what Mrs. Weasley would say…"

"very good point," said Sirius, it was obvious that in his mind he was now imaging Mrs. Weasley's reaction. "Erm… what do we do about Snape? I mean does he need to know yet" he then looked to Hermione, "I mean, do you want him to know yet?" Hermione shook her head, as Dumbledore said;

"He doesn't have to know yet, he will eventually, but not yet, I fear that he will find out on his own though, he will not need to be told. So if you two do not want him to know, may I suggest that you are extremely careful" his eyes twinkled slightly as he looked towards Sirius. "Do you want me to obliviate Ron then?" he asked.

"I think it's for the best" Hermione and Harry nodded their agreement.

"And what about you Harry?" asked Dumbledore again, "Can we trust you to respect their wishes, to keep their secret? Do you want to? Would you rather not know? It's up to you, it's your decision?"

"I think I'd like to know, I mean if that's ok with you two? I promise I won't tell anyone…"

"fine by me," said Hermione, reaching over to give Harry a hug.

"I don't have a problem with that" said Sirius, patting his godson on his shoulder.

"good good. Now, I think it is nearly time for lunch, so, shall we?" Dumbledore was speaking to Sirius, who nodded, removing his wand from his pocket. Both the men pointed their wands directly at Ron, who had remained in a silent, daze-like state, ever since Dumbledore had silenced him, half an hour previously.

"Obliviate" they both said in unison, a blank look crossed Ron's face, the light seemed to go out of his eyes for a second, before it quickly retuned, Ron looked slightly confused as to why they were in Dumbledore's office.

Harry quickly supplied an explanation "you got hit on the head with a stray bludger, you were kind of dazed so we thought it best to bring you to Dumbledore." Harry quickly invented.

"Well" said Dumbledore quickly catching on; "you seem fine now Mr. Weasley, so, shall we head down to lunch?" The others all agreed, and quickly headed down to lunch, Ron followed, slightly groggy, probably just the effects of the bludger he thought to himself…

**AN**: Thank you! I can't believe that people are still reading this, it really is quite amazing. I'm aiming to finish this one by the end of the summer, and I also have a couple of one shots to post when I get round to it hehe. I'm not sure whether to update irregularly, just whenever the chapters are done, or to make regular postings- what would you prefer? hehe, thank you,

x x x Fiona x x x


	44. Chapter 44: Enduring Temptation

Chapter 44: Temptation

"Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

They happily made their way down to the great hall; they ate a subdued lunch, which consisted of soup and sandwiches. Hermione didn't eat much, she was in a state of shock. This morning she had spent hours lain in her bed thinking of how she would be able to convince Sirius that she wasn't a nymphomaniac school girl, and that it was all one big misunderstanding and she wasn't really insanely in love with him. And now, well, she felt as if she was the luckiest girl in the world. Not only was she now dating a very handsome, very sexy and generally wonderful older man, but he was actually in love with her! _And _neither Harry nor Dumbledore had a problem with it, she tried not to think about Ron and his opinion, he'd come round to the idea eventually, she assured herself.

"What are you grinning at 'Mione?" asked Ron, his mouth half full of a ham sandwich.

"Nothing, its just such a lovely day." She felt Sirius' (invisible) hand brush against her own, squeezing it slightly, she fought hard not to grin even more.

The next few weeks were undoubtedly the happiest of Hermione's life, well, since Voldemort had returned anyway. Her and Sirius couldn't help but invent perfectly legitimate excuses to spend long periods of time in each others company. There were her defence lessons, plus all the time that she spent in the library when Harry and Ron were either practicing quidditch or could simply not be bothered to study.

There had in fact been several near misses, Hermione had on one particularly memorable occasion been sitting in the library, carefully composing her potions essay on methods of invisibility, surrounded by at least twenty books, with Sirius sitting dutifully by her side, occasionally rubbing her shoulders or when he felt particularly daring he would even place his hand on her knee, and see how long he could leave it there until one: she noticed, and two: she stopped him or three: she blushed furiously. Sirius had just been considering playing this highly amusing game when Ron and Harry stumbled into the library, exhausted and muddy from a difficult training session.

"Hullo" said Ron cheerily, "Thought we'd come down and get a start on that Snape essay" he leaned over and reached for Hermione's own work, she slapped his hand away.

"Ron, you know I don't believe in cheating, really, how will you learn? **No**!"

She cried out as Ron went to sit down directly on Sirius' lap. "Erm, I mean, there's a book there, _The Invisible Book of Invisibility_ careful!" she pretended to reach down and move a heavy book from the chair, by this time Sirius had had the sense to move, she placed the imaginary book on the floor beside her, "there" she said. The boys filled the now unoccupied chairs, and continued to berate Hermione for not letting them copy her work.

That had been such a close call, after that they tried to be more careful, yet on some occasions, they couldn't resist. One of the most memorable of _these_ occasions was during their self defence lessons. These had become more and more exhausting, and more realistic, quite often, Hermione felt that Sirius really was trying to actually kiss her, which she had to admit she occasionally let him. But still, it was difficult, she wanted to learn to fight people off, and yet, she really _really_ wanted Sirius. The sessions would quite often deteriorate into snogging sessions, Hermione's fears of intimacy completely dissolved, in fact, it was often her who initiated such debauchery. Sirius quite often had to stop them getting carried away and bring them back to the lesson that he was attempting to teach her. It had been on one of these occasions that Snape had walked in, he needed to talk to Black urgently to discuss their mission. Or so he claimed, Hermione suspected that Snape wanted to catch them out, he had been acting oddly for a while now. Hermione was almost certain that he suspected them. She really didn't want Snape to know yet, she felt sure that he would react as Ron had, and she just couldn't be bothered with that. That had been another close shave, Hermione's lips were slightly swollen, and she was blushing furiously, as Sirius quickly altered his hold on her so that it looked slightly more like a restraint hold as opposed to a hug. Snape still looked suspicious, but with no evidence and both of them keeping quiet, Snape had no proof whatsoever, so couldn't pursue the matter.

Despite these occasions, Hermione and Sirius were still extremely happy together. Hermione was constantly expecting to hear Lavender's voice, yelling at her to wake up. This really did feel like something out of a dream. The same was true for Sirius, he really couldn't believe this was real. Whenever they were together, he would almost constantly stare at her, he just couldn't get over the fact that she was his. He wanted to remember every second of being with her, just in case, he felt sure that this couldn't go on for much longer, it was just…too wonderful!

He was struggling with certain aspects of it though, he found it difficult to keep away from her. It was so difficult, when he was walking her to lessons not to reach out and hold her hand, little things like that were beginning to drive him mad. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to stand it, but nor did he like the idea of going public with this yet, he did not like it one bit. He remembered all too clearly the way that Ron had reacted, he was sure this would be typical of many. Sirius himself knew how he would have reacted if the role had been reversed. If some strange, cynical old man had taken up with a vulnerable, beautiful young girl, he would have been extremely suspicious about the man's motives. And if it was _his_ Hermione who was the young vulnerable girl in question, he would go absolutely ape at any man who came near here. This was undoubtedly how Ron felt. Sirius had always felt that ultimately Ron and Hermione would be together, Harry had shared these feelings, and to an extent, so had Ron. Ron was so possessive of Hermione, Sirius' mind automatically recalled the events that had been retold to him after Hermione had been with Krum. That hadn't even been a serious relationship, and Ron still hated Krum for it, he still resented Hermione for it. Sirius knew this would be hard for everyone to accept, however, as he ran through these events in his mind, he could not help but hope that perhaps Ron's reaction had been a little extreme because of his feelings for Hermione, and that others would be slightly more understanding. But still, he didn't want to go public, not to mention he didn't want to put Hermione through any more trauma. Hogwarts loved scandal, and if the students got wind of their relationship, there would most certainly be scandal.

So, they carried on in secret, well, Harry and Dumbledore knew, but other then that, no one had any clue that they were together. As Christmas loomed nearer and nearer this started to trouble Hermione, she felt bad hiding this from the people she cared about, from Ron, from the other Weasleys, she was even feeling bad for hiding this from Snape, he was, after all, her living guardian, and she felt that As Christmas loomed nearer and nearer this started to trouble Hermione, she felt bad hiding this from the people she cared about, from Ron, from the other Weasleys, she was even feeling bad for hiding this from Snape, he was, after all, her living guardian, and she felt that he had a right to know. She knew that Sirius didn't want to tell any one yet, and she herself was also terrified of how they would respond. Still, she had this feeling that over Christmas they would be discovered, and she couldn't help but think that things would some how be better if they were honest now. Sadly, we rarely listen to these nagging little feelings, life would be so much easier if we did…

A/N: sorry it took so long to update, my internets been down, grrrrr, i nearly didn't get a house at uni becasue of it, but now I have a brand new very beatiful computer, yay!

Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing- shameless plea for reviews) hehe

x x x Fiona x x x


	45. Chapter 45: He Hoped

Chapter 45: He Hoped

"Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway." Elbert Hubbard, _A Thousand and One Epigrams_, 1911

"Come on Ron!"

"I can't find my bloody socks! Mum's going to kill me, she bought me twenty pairs at the beginning of this term and I can only find two, and they don't even match!"

"We're going to be late, come on, they'll be around next term!" This was typical of the scenes being replayed in dormitories across the castle, as the students hurried to pack for their Christmas holidays. It is rather extraordinary how possessions (particularly those belonging to teenage boys) have a way of putting themselves in the most unexpected and unusual places and have a habit of becoming impossible to locate- that is until you are no longer looking for them.

_E__ventually_ the boys were packed, Ginny and Hermione had been ready and waiting for a good twenty minutes, and Crookshanks was getting very snappy, having been forced into his travelling cage some forty minutes before hand. Sirius had been waiting with the girls, they were sitting in the common room near the fire, they would be travelling by floo powder (Dumbledore had permitted a special one day connection to Grimauld Place given the circumstances, that is to say Harry). They were meant to be arriving there at twelve, it was now half past and the boys were _still _fussing, honnestly! People say girls are bad at getting ready!

As they boys were about to step into the fire Sirius blocked them with his arm

"Wait" he said gruffly, he then held out his wand, muttered something under his breath and suddenly there was a collective gasp as a large patronus erupted from his wand. It did not linger long enough for them to see what it was, all Harry could tell was that it was large and had four legs, it was a bit like his really. The five of them waited in silence, no one asked for an explanation as Sirius did not look like he wanted to give one. A strange expression was playing across his face, it was an odd mixture of murderous rage combined with a slight tinge of acceptance. If Hermione had to name the look on his face she would call it defiant defeat, an oxymoron but an apt one. Hermione had a slight idea why too. She now knew that Snape was her living guardian, and she knew that for the protection he provided to be effective they would have to be in close proximity, she remembered Dumbledore saying something along those lines at some time or other. She imagined that it would mean Snape would be living at the headquarters with them for Christmas, it was a necessary precaution, even if it seemed a bit excessive, Hermione knew that she would feel better if he was there. She also knew that Snape's presence would have a terrible effect on Sirius, he still hated Snape, not only because of the schoolyard rivalry and not-so-gentle goading that he had received the previous year, but he now hated Snape because of his involvement in the torture of Hermione over the summer, and even more so because he was her guardian and to an extent, her saviour. It was probably that fact more then any other that made Sirius seethe with rage, the fact that he owed the most wonderful thing in his life to a man he hated.

It seemed as if Sirius was jealous of Snape, after all it had been Snape who had received all the credit for her rescue, it was Snape who now, following the death of her parents, had the final say so in all matters of importance of Hermione's life. It wasn't the fact that Sirius wanted the responsibility of that role, it was more the fact that he wanted to be recognised as someone who cared as deeply, if not more so, for Hermione, and that _he_ would have risked his life to save her, and that _he_ truly did have her best interests at heart. He wanted others to treat him with the respect that they treated Snape with. The longer they postponed telling people about their relationship, the more Sirius began to dread the repercussions and reprimands that he felt sure it would bring. All of this anguish and dread, coupled with an all ready intense dislike of Snape lead to him hating him even more, and although he could not begrudge him houseroom, as after all, he would do anything to protect Hermione, he still felt that that he would rather drink stink sap than invite Snape to spend Christmas with him.

Hermione was drawn from her thoughts by the arrival of her potions master, Harry and Ron looked from Sirius to Snape, both stunned, Ginny on the other hand turned to Hermione raising a quizzical eyebrow. The shock of seeing Snape, head of Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room was surprise enough, but as the slow realisation that Snape would be joining them for Christmas was almost too much for Harry and Ron. The former erupted in immediate protests, but was quickly silenced by Snape.

"Potter" he drawled, "Do you really think that I would actually _chose _to spend my valuable free time with you?" He gave a derisive laugh, "With you and your motley crew, in that hovel? Have you not considered that maybe there are more serious reasons for my presence? Honestly boy, your memory is nearly as bad as your father's! You _should_ have remembered that as Hermione's living guardian, the protection I offer can only be effective when I am in close proximity to Miss Granger, therefore, I will be staying with her at the headquarters."

Harry attempted to cut across him, but almost as if Snape had used legithamy he immediately interrupted Harry; "And yes Potter, this is _really necessary! _You have no idea of what the death eaters are capable of" again Snape seemed to read Harry's mind "and although the head quarters is safe, there is no way of ensuring that it stays so, nor that Hermione stays within it. Despite what several would have you believe, there is no way to predict future with any kind of certainty." At this point, Snape almost seemed to grow in size, he was most defiantly radiating something other then the usual hatred, Harry could not quite put his finger on it, but later he would come to realise that this was what Severus Snape looked like as a concerned and protective guardian. "I personally Potter am not prepared to take that risk, but if you wish to gamble with your friend's lives then so be it, I will not stop you, but on your head be it Potter, on your head!"

It would be many more years before Harry would realise that by giving him such responsibilities, Severus Snape was in fact being protective of Harry in the only way he could; he was preparing him for his own future, and hopefully, by easing him into it slowly, by giving him simple choices, and helping him to see that really there was no choice, by showing him that the lives and safety of other's was more important then his own minor discomfort. Severus Snape was truly handing Harry the tools that would one day help him to defeat Voldemort. That same protective passion that emanated from him now as he talked about Hermione, also existed for Harry. It was what had made him whisper the counter jinx when Quirrel was attempting to kill Harry, it was what had prompted him to provide Umbridge with fake Veritisium, and it was what compelled him now to take the necessary steps to ensure that Harry's fiends were safe. He could not allow Harry to feel as if he had caused another death. Make no mistake, Snape did not like Harry, oh no, most certainly not, but he did have some degree of respect for him, after all, Snape had heard the prophesy, he knew the burden that Harry had to carry, and admired him for the way he shouldered it uncomplainingly. He did not particularly want to help Harry personally, he just wanted it to end, his tiring double life, the endless speculation, the endless fighting, the spying, the lying, it all had to end, and the only way Snape could see that happening involved Harry. Snape felt that if his best friend was killed because of her association with Harry, it could drive him insane, hope would be lost. And although Severus Snape was indeed a cynical man, in times like these, any hope, no matter how small, was worth clinging too if it meant that you could face today, because if you faced today, there was a chance you might face the next day, and the next. Hope is often most essential to the most cynical people, as without it, they really would not have a reason to live. They believe that everything is terrible, but hope that maybe it will be better, Severus Snape was one of these people, and he believed, he hoped, that maybe he could help make things better by helping Potter. He hoped.

A/N: Sorry this took so long to update, I've been having major problems with the internet, both at home, AND in my new halls of residence. That's right, I'm a grown up uni student now, I'm living away from home and everything, hehe.

Hope you enjoyed this, and I promise I'll update again very soon, hehe.

Please read and review.

x x x Fiona x x x


	46. Chapter 46: Stolen Kisses & Near Misses

Chapter 46: Stolen Kisses and Near Misses.

"There is often less danger in the things we fear than in the things we desire." John C. Collins

A/N: I rarely put notes at the beginning of chapters, BUT I am going to make an exception, now, _apparently_ this chapter is a lot more fun if read whilst playing Christmas music...I know it's September...but pretend, just a suggestion...

"Girmauld Place" Snape said, as he stepped into the glowing green flames. Harry was next, followed by Ron, and then Ginny. Hermione and Sirius were now left alone, in the deserted common room, they couldn't resist a quick kiss, after all, they were going to be spending Christmas together, which as wonderful as it was, was going to be _extremely _frustrating. Sirius doubted whether they would get a single moment together, what with Molly feeding them at every possible opportunity, and Snape spying on them, not to mention the fact that the house would be full to bursting, so even if they could escape people, they would not have anywhere to escape to. So, this was a very important kiss, as it could be their last for three weeks, which to Sirius, seemed like an eternity, however;

"We've got to stop" Sirius mumbled not breaking contact with Hermione's lips,

"No" she whinged,

"Come on Hermione, If we don't arrive soon they'll be sending out a search party, and we do _not_ want to be found like this."

"Fine" huffed Hermione, half jokingly,

"Go on, best get going" Hermione took a pinch of the fine powder from the pot that Sirius held out, and threw it into the flames, which instantly turned emerald green. She turned to face Sirius, for one last quick kiss before she stepped into the fire. They broke apart,

"I love you" the words had left her mouth before her thoughts had caught up to them, ah well, she meant it, and least it wouldn't be too awkward because any second now she would be leaving for "Grimauld Place".

Before she knew it, she was stepping not-so-gracefully out of the large fireplace in the basement kitchen of Grimauld Place. Little did she know that Sirius was now pacing the Gryffindor common room, stunned by what he had just heard. He knew that he loved her, he had known it for a long time, he hadn't told her earlier, for one he didn't want to put any pressure on Hermione, he didn't want to scare her away, or to make her feel that she had to say it back, which brought him to his next fear, he was scared in case she didn't say it back. Sirius had never been in that position before; he had never been in a relationship where he was the one seeking commitment, the one who wanted more then the other was prepared to be, he didn't know how he would handle it, and that scared him. He was slightly relieved as he stepped into the emerald flames, at least he knew that she felt for him at least some of what he felt for her, and that was defiantly something. She'd picked a bad time to say it, he had had no time to say it back, and when he did see her again, it would be at Grimauld place, where he would not have chance to tell her he felt the same way.

He needn't have worried, as when he reached the dim, grimy kitchen, he was greeted by the smiling (and very mischievous) face of Hermione, she looked at him knowingly, he knew at that moment that he would not have to tell her how he felt, it was clear that she was already aware, and it was, at that moment, clear to him that she felt _exactly _the sane way.

Snape was staring at them, from one to another. No one else had seen the furtive glances that they frequently exchanged, perhaps it was because he was her guardian he was more attentive, more attuned to such subtleties, or perhaps it was because of what Dumbledore had said was firmly planted in his brain, Snape didn't know, all he knew was that he did not like the was Sirius looked at Hermione when he thought no one was looking. It was lecherous, but worse, there was something else behind those eyes, which Snape, having never been properly in love, did not recognise. Still, it troubled him greatly to see it lurking there, it troubled him even more that he thought he recognised the same look in Hermione's eyes when she gazed at Black. Urgh, Snape hated being here, surrounded by all these…goody goodies (he knew he sounded like an eight year old, but he couldn't think of any thing that described them more aptly, all these people, none of them with any real edge) he had to get out. He couldn't stand it. He quickly removed himself from the kitchen to his room, it was the second on the right on the third floor, or so Molly had said, apparently it was next door but one to Hermione and Ginny's room, what a…coincidence.

Snape remained in solitude for much of the holidays, yet the fact that he was there did certainly have a pronounced effect on the atmosphere in the house. It was much more subdued, there was less laughter, and generally less mischief. Even Fred and George seemed to have toned it down, well, as much as they ever did, and it was after a particularly nasty incident involving a swamp in a box, a _lot_ of stink sap, one very angry potions master, and a bucket. But still, Snape was the only one, besides their mother who had ever succeeded in making them 1) apologise, 2) clear up the mess that they had made and 3) vow never to do it again.

Despite this, it was still nice to be all together again, even Harry seemed to relax slightly in the company of the Weasley's. It was all very lovely, Hermione even found that she had a new level of tolerance for the two sickly soppy and ridiculously romantic couples that inhabited the house: Remus and Tonks, and Bill and Fleur. Her and Sirius had been struggling to keep their secret, they had generally been very good, generally. There had been a few exceptions to this, but fortunately they managed to pass off their fierce embrace as Hermione's attempt to defend herself gone wrong; after all, as Hermione had stated when Ron had walked in on them

"Just because it's Christmas Ron, it doesn't mean that the Death Eaters don't want revenge any more! And I personally do not want to miss the opportunity to better defend myself! _Some of us_" She spat "Don't stop learning just because it's Christmas!" Ron left the room looking sheepish and mumbling an apology. The second he had gone, Sirius gazed at Hermione agog.

"Merlin you can lie! That's scary! Bloody Hell! Maybe there are some benefits to dating a smart witch" he had teased her constantly about being a smart little know it all, jokingly of course, he loved her intellect, it just amused him, that she never seemed to switch off. On one particularly vivid occasion, she had pulled away and broken their kiss, slapped her forehead and said

"Of course, lace wings, how could I forget!" before making as if to resume the kiss. Sirius stared at her,

"What?" he had asked looking bemused

"Oh, I just remembered the last ingredient I missed, I've got to write an essay on _Ployjuice Potion_ that's all."

"You mean to say that when you're kissing me, you're thinking about Snape's homework?" he asked, the indignity in his voice was only _slightly_ exaggerated.

"No, it was just annoying me, now come on, any minute now they'll shout us for dinner." And she kissed him again. Leaving Sirius to marvel at the fact that her mind never stopped working. He was again now deeply impressed by that fact, even if she was using her incomprehensible intellect to fabricate lies…

"I'm a smart witch now am I? Since when have I been anything other then a little know it all?" She asked smirking, before leaning up to kiss him again.

It had been rather fun sneaking around, all very romantic, yet Hermione couldn't help thinking that it would be so much nicer if they could show their love openly. It was beginning to upset her a little, she was surrounded by happy people, people in love, people having a lovely Christmas with their family, and it grated on her that she could not share with them the one thing that was making her happy. Still, it was all for the best, and these things did have a way of working themselves out…

She had been sitting on the floor near the fire, it was Christmas Eve, and she had spent the night glancing furtively at Sirius. Harry and Ron were playing gobstones, Fred and George were amusing Ginny with their latest invention: x-ray specs, Hermione thought she heard Fred say "well, we got the idea from one of those muggle comics, you know, ingenious muggles, of course theirs didn't really work, but still, bless them for trying." to Remus, who was obviously impressed by their latest invention. The "grownups" were sitting listening to a broadcast on the wireless by Celestia Warbeck, well, at least they were pretending to listen as they downed mugs of steaming egg nog and mulled mead. Even Snape had joined them for the festivities. It was a typical Christmas card scene, all the family and friends gathered round a glowing fire, from which were hung no fewer then fifteen stockings, each of which had a name emblazoned on it in golden writing. Snape had originally objected to having a stocking, but had been forced, very reluctantly, to give in; Molly Weasley really could talk any body into (or out of) anything! She had made a good point, if he had to be there (underlying hint being that if they had to endure him) he could at least _attempt_ to make some form of effort to…what was the phrase she had used…ah yes, make an effort to "embrace the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of _peace_ and goodwill to _all_ men. Live a little" she had goaded. So, he had come downstairs, and had allowed them to hang a stocking with his name on it (despite the fact he knew there would be no presents in it come Christmas morning) he had even held his tongue when they began singing Christmas carols. It was killing him. Still it was to be endured if it meant Hermione would be safe.

Only catch was that he wasn't sure Hermione _was_ safe, not with that lecherous scumbag black hanging around. He had seen the way he stared at her, and more recently he had noticed the way Hermione looked at him, it was clear that she was infatuated. He supposed Black could be seen as moderately attractive, especially to a young and easily influenced girl, he was, after all, something of a hero, and although Snape hated to admit it as much as he hated to use the word, there was no way round it, Sirius Black was…cool. Still, he wouldn't let Hermione be taken in by it. He had to protect her and he damn well would.

Sadly, Snape underestimated Hermione, Sirius and the depth of their feelings for one another. He should have known that he did not need to protect Hermione from Sirius, but allow Sirius to protect her! However, Snape did not see this. He continued to despise Sirius, and view him as a lecherous pervert. He continued to watch the pair of them like a hawk, he found himself inventing reasons to have to check on Sirius, to ensure that he was not with Hermione. He knew that something must be going on, but he could never catch the two of them doing anything that they shouldn't be, he had no proof, he would simply have to keep his suspicions to himself, and keep watch on them. 'What a fun way to spend Christmas' thought Snape to himself. Although he would deny it under oath, it couldn't be any worse then his usual Christmas holidays, either spent alone in his office at Hogwarts, or on some secret and very dangerous mission facing the Dark Lord. In fact, this may even be better, slightly, possible, probably…

A/N: Hehe, hope you enjoyed that, and hope that you're feeling festive, lol. Uni rocks, other then the fact i have the dreaded freshers flu..dun dun dun... anyway, read and review, I'll update soon.

Thank you.

x x x Fiona x x x


	47. Chapter 47: A Very Merry Christmas

Chapter 47: A Very Merry Christmas

"All good things must come to an end"

"All right, I suppose" Molly had finally given in, she had been pestered relentlessly by not only her children, but also her husband and nearly all of the other grownups, to allow them to open a present each at midnight. This muggle tradition was not normally followed by wizards, however, a in a house full of excitable young wizards, all looking forward to getting presents, having had this tradition introduced to them by Tonks, were now insisting that they followed it, as Fred had eloquently put it in order to persuade his mother;

"In times of such strife and division, we should embrace other cultures, and if us opening our presents early means that Tonks and Hermione feel more at home, then that's just a sacrifice I think we should be willing to make." Hermione had actually laughed at this point, before interrupting

"Actually, I wasn't allowed to open my presents, because Father Christmas hadn't delivered them yet" she said smugly, laughing again at the devastated look on Fred's face.

"Hmmm, well, since we're all up anyway…I guess it wouldn't hurt if you each opened one, only one mind! And wait until midnight…"

They all watched the clock excitedly, Fred and George were practically dancing with excitement, they had all picked out a present, Hermione had chosen the smallest of her presents, she may have agreed to bend the rules a little, but she wasn't going to open her 'best' present until Christmas morning, which was precisely what everyone else seemed to be doing. They counted down, five, four, three, two…one!

"Merry Christmas!" was shouted by many voices, some were notably absent as their owners were involved in kisses, Molly and Arthur, Bill and Fleur, Remus and Tonks, Hermione exchanged a longing look with Sirius, she could tell that it was taking all of his self restraint to prevent himself kissing her.

Everyone was now frantically unwrapping presents. Several people had unwrapped presents from Fred and George, which was probably a bad idea considering that every one was tired and so did not have their wits about them. Ron had placed a shrinking hat on his head, Ginny was fighting with some fluffy object Hermione could not recognise, and Mr. Weasley looked as though he was about to wet himself in excitant at his box of muggle tricks and self sparking sparkplugs. In the confusion that ensued, Hermione excused herself, saying she was going to bed, and exchanging a significant look with Sirius.

She made her way up the stairs slowly, she entered her room, and crossed it slowly to sit on her bed, before rummaging in her bedside draws for Sirius' present. Just as she found it, he entered the room.

"Merry Christmas" she said grinning, in one deft movement, he had crossed the room and was at her side, she didn't even remember standing up. They were kissing, an all consuming kiss, it was beyond passion, it was beyond love, it was beyond obsession, it was a kiss that somehow conveyed how deeply felt for each other, they weren't just kissing, they were fusing, breathing the same breath, thinking the same thoughts, living the same life. They were one. They were everything. Nothing worth thinking about existed beyond that kiss, beyond them.

They broke apart suddenly, a look of panic crossed Sirius' face, as he turned quickly to the door.

"Thought I heard someone" he muttered, already they were kissing again.

"Wait" Hermione had finally managed to speak. "Don't you want your Christmas present Mr. Black?" she asked mischievously, reaching behind her to the bed, where an elaborate box now lay.

"Hermione, you didn't? I thought I told you I didn't want you wasting your money on me?"

"Firstly Sirius, you don't tell me what to do, and secondly, I didn't, so there! Go on, open it." She sounded almost nervous as she handed him the box. He opened it, looking sceptical. As he removed the lid he saw that it was crammed full of photographs, and papers, cuttings and there were also several little bottles.

"What is all this?" he asked confused.

"It's you." She said, and right she was, as he looked more closely he could see that his face reflected back at him from many of the photographs, and as he quickly scanned through the pages of paper, he could see his name. As he took out one of the little phials, he saw that it contained a memory. He held it up, questioningly to Hermione,

"They're my memories, of you, the first time we met, the first time we kissed" she blushed.

"Hermione, this is, this is wonderful. I don't think any one has ever done something this thoughtful… it must have taken you forever. How did you get all these?" he held up a little book into which Hermione had copied a record of all Sirius' 'crimes' at Hogwarts.

"Harry had to copy some out as part of his detentions last year, so I knew flinch had them, it was just a case of getting them, and escaping you to do so!" she added cheekily, "and also, Hogwarts does have a rather extensive library. And you weren't exactly paying attention to the books I was reading, so I'd just put old _prophets_ inside the books, and read all about you. Look" she said rummaging through the box, "Aha, right from your birth" she held up a small newspaper clipping that announced '_The most Noble and most Ancient house of Black has been blessed with a son, Sirius Black, was born yesterday to proud parents…'_ "up til now" she held a photograph that showed Sirius with his arm wrapped around her, both of them were waving and looking very happy. It really was a beautiful idea, and she had put so much work into it. Sirius knew that this instant it was the most beautiful and wonderful present he had ever been given, and it had been given to him by the most beautiful and wonderful person he would ever meet.

"I…I don't know what to say, Hermione, this is…" He couldn't say what it was, so he settled for kissing her instead. "So, would you like your present now or shall we wait until the morning?"

"How come you're allowed to buy me a present and I can't get you one?" She asked, indignant.

"Because I have more money and more time then you" he teased, kissing her on the nose. "And anyway, it isn't really a Christmas present" he sighed. "I can't believe that I'm actually going to do this. I know it seems sudden, and that you'll probably say no. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this, all I know is that I love you Hermione Granger, and I know that I will never love another as I have loved you. I have never felt like this about anyone else. I_ know _that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He got down on one knee, Hermione suddenly felt as if she had left both her voice and her stomach downstairs.

"Now this ring can mean what ever you want it to mean" he said producing a small, green velvet box, which he carefully opened, to reveal a small silver band, in which was set the most exquisite diamond Hermione had ever seen. The choice of ring was perfect, it was simple, elegant, charming. It was breathtaking in its simplicity. It was not conventionally beautiful, but still it was stunning, just like Hermione. Now, in these times of war and turmoil, there is traditionally an increase in the number of weddings. When people don't know if there will be a tomorrow, they begin to live more for today. They make rash decisions and take risks. The Weasley's were a prime example, they had been married when Voldemort was powerful, as had the Potters and many other couples. The second time round, there were just as many war weddings, Remus and Tonks, Bill and Fleur, this rash state of mind was infections, it once again became normal to be married young and quickly. Marriage even became appealing to Sirius, and to Hermione for that matter.

"I love you, and I know that I want you to be in my life for ever. Hermione Granger, it would make me the happiest man alive if you would take this, you don't have to take it as an engagement ring if you don't want, I just wanted you to have this, and to know that whenever you are ready, I would love it if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife. You don't have to say anything yet, just, take it and know that I love you."

"Erm…" she stammered in complete shock

"Don't worry, I wasn't really expecting you to say yes yet, I just… I don't know, I…"

"I'm confused," she cut across him. "What exactly…what are you…what would I be saying yes to?" a smile crossed her face, "If you are proposing Mr. Black, I suggest you do it properly."

He sighed, "well, supposed I'd best do that then," he grinned roguishly, "Hermione Granger will you marry me?"

"Ye-"

"**NO SHE BLOODY WELL WON'T! ARE YOU MAD!"**

"Silencio!" said Sirius pointing lazily at Ron, Silencing him quickly, before turning his attention back to Hermione. "You were saying?"

"Yes, I will, I can't believe this! I'm still at school, we've only been together three months! This is madness" she said smiling, hugging him, "Wait" she said, suddenly looking very serious. Sirius felt sure that she was about to change her mind, tell him it couldn't happen, what would everyone say, it was ridiculous, he was wrong. Hermione simply said,

"What about my exams?" he laughed a heart felt laugh, thrust Hermione, at one of the most romantic moments of her life, her mind had turned to her studies. "I'll have to stay at school, I mean, of course I'll marry you, but I think we should wait until after my NEWT's?"

"Whatever you say Hermione, anything" and with that, he slipped the ring on to her extended finger, and then pulled her into a crushing embrace, grinning uncontrolably as he did.

By this time, Ron had run down stairs, and with wild, frantic gestures had attracted the attention of all those downstairs, now they traipsed up to Hermione's room, lead by Ron closely followed by Snape, all had there wands out and were looking grave. They burst through Hermione's door, wands aloft, expecting to find horrific scenes of destruction, or perhaps death eaters, they certainly did not expect to be greeted by the scenes that met them. Hermione and Sirius locked in a fierce embrace. Tonks actually laughed, Remus looked very pale, Harry refused to make eye contact with anyone, he was smiling slightly, Molly looked livid, but that was nothing compared to how Snape looked. If looks could kill, Sirius would not only be dead, but he would have died a lingering and agonising death.

Sirius did not seem to notice this, if he did, then he chose to ignore it. He grinned slightly, an turned to Hermione, pulling her to her feet (he had sprung to his feet when the door had burst open)

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you, my fiancée, Miss Granger"

There was a dull thud as Molly Weasley sank into a dead faint. There were very mixed reactions to this announcement, laughter, tears, shock, and anger. Had Arthur not grabbed the neck of his robes, Ron would have undoubtedly punched Sirius. Snape attempted to do the same, but when he was stopped by Remus, he left, shouting something about Dumbledore, insanity and paedophilia, Harry gathered he was going to protest to Dumbledore. Molly Weasley was revived and sent to go and lie down, she looked as though she'd been forced to swallow large quantity of stink sap.

Snape stormed in two hours later, looking very pissed off, obviously Dumbledore had not reacted as Snape wanted him to, in fact, Snape thought bitterly, Dumbledore had seemed even pleased! Most of the house was now in bed. Sirius was the only resident up, he was sitting at the kitchen table, looking through his Christmas present from Hermione, and thinking of the night's events. It hadn't been as bad as Sirius expected, after the initial shock, people had actually been quite supportive. Of course it would take some getting used to, but it was still a start. He still expected it to be difficult, especially for Ron, and Snape, who incidentally didn't even talk to Sirius when he returned. In Sirius' mind, Snape not talking to him was actually a positive thing, a bonus. As he sat in the dark grimy basement kitchen of Grimauld Place, Sirius Black found that he couldn't stop smiling, as suddenly it dawned on him that he would be spending the rest of his life with the most wonderful woman he had ever known, the woman he loved with all his heart; _his _Hermione.

**A/N: I'm really glad I ended this properly now. Thanks for reading, an even bigger thanks for reviewing, especially to those who have been reading since I first started this story, and those who came back after I abandoned it.**

**There may be a sequel, I'm not sure yet, I have some one shots that I want to post too. **

**But for now, THE END.**

**I feel really sad now, end of an era and all that...  
**

**One final thank you, **

**x x x Fiona x x x **


	48. Chapter 48 Chapter one

Hi, I thought I would post the opening chapter of the sequel (Fade) at the end of Beyond obsession, just so people know that a sequel is in existance. This has not been beta read yet, and if anyone would like to volunteer to do so I would very much appriciate it :D.

Hope you like it, if you're feeling generousl enough to leave a review, it would make me happy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot line.

A/N: This is the sequel to Beyond Obsession. Hope you like it, please review so I know whether there's interest in a sequal or not...

Fiona x x x

Fade

Chapter One: Alcohol.

"Alcohol, the cause and solution to all life's problems" Homer…(J.Simpson )

Alcohol. Bloody stinking alcohol. Sirius thought to himself. That's what had caused the latest kafuffle. He could blame Arthur for letting the boys have some, but that wouldn't be entirely fair, he had hardly protested, in fact, it had been his firewhisky that they were drinking! After the events of the previous evening, Sirius was just glad that people finally seemed to be relaxing. They had been on edge all day, and if firewhisky aided their relaxation, who was he to stand in the way?

He too had been tense all day, as had Hermione. Neither of them were entirely sure how people would react to them as a couple, but both were relieved that their relationship was finally out in the open. This did not mean that they were going to flaunt it. Sirius assumed, correctly, that Ron would have something to say about it if there were any displays of affection between himself and Hermione. Neither of them wanted that.

However, as more alcohol was consumed, such thoughts occupied his mind less. Everyone was relaxed, they had all split off into groups having quiet conversations about nothing in particular. Sirius was sitting with Harry and Ron, they were chatting about quidditch or some other subject that had no chance of holding his attention, not when she was in the room. He found himself thinking for the hundredth time that day what a lucky man he was as he stared at his beautiful fiancée, his Hermione. She really beautiful. She was talking animatedly to Charlie and Remus about elf rights on the other side of the sitting room. Her face was flushed and her gestures were becoming increasingly passionate with every glass of mulled wine he consumed. He stared at her, as she tucked a stray curl of her hair behind her ear, revealing more of that beautiful neck, he had to kiss her. He had to. It took all of his self restraint not to walk over there and…well… He could feel himself starting to blush at the thoughts that were now creeping unbidden into his head. Nobody, nobody could make Sirius Black blush! Must be the alcohol, he told himself. He also blamed the alcohol for making him feel this…mischievous. A sly grin crossed his face, it was at that precise moment that Hermione turned round, she beamed at him.

Having excused herself from her conversation with Charlie and Remus, she made her way across the room to where he was sitting with the boys. There was no chair for her, and none of the men made as if to move to let her take their seat so she plonked herself rather ungracefully onto Sirius' lap. If possible his grin became even wider. He snaked his hand around her waist, letting it rest in her lap, his other arm he wrapped around her stomach using it to pull her closer to him. He grinned at the quizzical look Remus gave him, before moving his right hand, which had been resting in her lap slightly higher. Hermione didn't seem to notice, but several others did. Sirius wasn't sure what had got into him. He wouldn't normally act like this, especially not with her, and especially not in a room full of people.

Molly Weasley was not impressed by his display of…affection, she tutted loudly and huffed "really!".

"Come off it mum" said Charlie laughing "he's just showing off"

"What do you mean?" Remus asked him. Charlie shook his head smiling, and threw a pointed glance at Hermione

"Wouldn't you mate? I mean, can't say she's not attractive and we all know she's intelligent. He's found himself a nice little wife there, I suppose it doesn't hurt that she's nearly twenty years his junior". Remus understood, and had to admit he agreed.

Hermione was oblivious to this conversation, she was too engaged in her own conversation with Harry and Ron about Fred and George's latest inventions. She wasn't paying him much attention at all. She didn't notice as his hand climbed steadily higher and higher stroking her thigh. Sirius was not used to being ignored and he didn't like it. He decided drastic action was needed, he began to kiss her neck. Hermione giggled and squired.

At this, Ron who had been staring at Sirius' hand on Hermione's thigh for the last five minutes becoming increasingly cross, muttered waspishly

"Slag" As soon as the word had escaped his lips, he regretted saying it. Hermione looked as if she had been slapped, all traces of a smile gone from her face. She was on her feet and glaring at him, she made as if to move towards him, but Sirius was faster. He had crossed the few feet to where Ron stood and had drawn his wand before anyone else had realised what Ron had said.

"What did you just call my fiancée?" Sirius growled through gritted teeth. Harry was on his feet too now, stepping between his god father and his best friend.

"Lets just all calm down, I'm sure Ron didn't mean it, right Ron?" Harry said, Ron grunted an apology, before he quickly left the room, looking disgusted with himself.

"Coward" muttered Sirius at Ron's retreating back. Hermione was sitting in stunned silence. She really did feel as if she had been slapped. One of her best friends, the people who were supposed to love her and care for her had just gone out of his way to upset her.

All trace of the jovial and relaxed atmosphere of only moments earlier had now evaporated. Sirius was apoplectic with rage. He thought he deserved much praise for managing to remain sitting there engaging in polite conversation rather than running upstairs and using Ron's head for a toilet brush. He certainly knew which option he found most appealing. He reached for Hermione's hand, but she pretended she had not noticed this gesture, looking around, checking if anyone was watching, judging before she allowed him to enclose her small hand in his own.

After a tense twenty minutes, people started drifting off to bed, saying falsely cheery goodnights to each other.

Sirius felt anger course through his veins as he relived these events lying in bed. He had come to the conclusion that Alcohol was to blame. This did not however stop him from wanting to punch that little shit Ron Weasley. A feeling that had intensified as he had remembered the look on Hermione's face after Ron had called her a slag. How dare anyone upset his Hermione that much!

At that thought, a slight smile crossed his face. _His Hermione. His Hermione. _He repeated it to himself, his smile intensifying. It amazed him how naturally it seemed to flow, _His Hermione. _It gave him an even deeper sense of satisfaction to know that he was hers. She wanted him, she had chosen him, she was going to marry him; he was hers. He really didn't deserve to be so lucky, he was actually in love. Proper love, actual real life, above and beyond, all consuming, rollercoaster riding, head in the clouds out of this world LOVE. He had only seen that once before (excepting of course those muggle films Hermione made him watch- he thought she called them rom-coms…what a stupid name he thought to himself…). He had seen this kind of love between Lilly and James. Despite all that had gone on, and despite all that still lay ahead of them, Sirius saw a bright future for him and _His Hermione_. He had never felt happier.

Ron was mortified. He might well be cross at Hermione, well, at Sirius really, but that was no excuse to try and deliberately hurt either of them. Even if she had hurt him, she had done it completely unknowingly. Ron couldn't blame her for falling in love with Sirius. As he knew only too well, you couldn't control who you fell in love with.

It was Ginny who had patiently pointed this out to him, she had tried in vain not blush and made a point of avoiding eye contact with Harry when she mentioned not being able to control who you fell in love with. Astonishingly, the usually unperceptive Ron noticed this, perhaps because it involved his little sister and his best friend, either way, he made a mental note to ask Harry about it right after he got back from apologising to Hermione.

Ron made his way slowly across the landing to the room Hermione and Ginny shared. He stood outside for a moment listening, he heard muffled sobs punctuated with the occasional angry exclamation along the lines of "who does he think he is!?" and "how dare he!". Hermione was right of course, what on Earth gave him the right to call Hermione a slag? After all she'd been through! Honestly, what kind of a friend was he, that he'd stoop so low to begrudge her even a little happiness?

He knocked purposefully, resolute in his desire to put things right.

"Come in" Hermione shouted, he entered, looked directly at Hermione and said

"I'm so sorry, I'm a complete tit"

"Thank you for apologising Ron, but I am still very angry with you, and I don't want to see you for a while" replied Hermione with all the warmth of a teaspoon, the harshness of her response took him back. He had never seen Hermione act so coldly before.

"Oh…ok" he stammered before backing out quickly.

"Leave the door, I'm going to go and see Sirius" Said Hermione with all the dignity she could muster. Glaring at him defiantly, daring her to challenge him. It was surprising just how scary a 16 year old in a my little pony nighty with mascara all over her face could look.

Hermione headed first to the basement kitchen, finding it empty she tried the drawing room next, then the room on the second floor he occasionally used as a study but he was nowhere to be found. Finally, deciding he must have gone to bed, she tiptoed her way up to the third floor where he slept, quickly crossed the landing and knocked tentatively on his door. It was ridiculous! She was his fiancée for Merlin's sake! She was allowed to go in and say good night to her future husband, but she still couldn't shake a slightly nervous sensation that was bubbling away in the pit of her stomach…

He answered the door pulling on a t-shirt. He had obviously been in bed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you…" She muttered. A look of panic crossed his face as he took in her dishevelled appearance.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" He asked urgently, and although his voice was groggy, it was easy to detect the ill-disguised anxiety within it. Hermione, noticing this, giggled. At once the panic left his face, to be replaced with an expression of mingled mischief and curiosity, as he allowed his eyes to linger a little too long on just quite how short her nighty was…

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I just fancied a chat with my future husband is all" she grinned. He stepped back, motioning for her to come in. They sat down on the bed…his bed.

"You ok love, really ok I mean?" He asked,

"Yeah, just took me back a little before, caught me off guard a bit…but you know" she smiled as he leaned in and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"You know" he began devilishly, "coming to my room, late at night…scantily clad" he ran a hand up her exposed thigh, "People will talk" he grinned.

"Let them" she replied before leaning in and kissing him passionately. Neither of the broke the kiss as he gently pressed on her shoulders, laying her down, him at her side. He then moved his mouth, first across her cheek, then to her ear, he lingered as his mouth made its way slowly down her neck until it found her collar bone… Suddenly Hermione's mind woke up, this was all getting a bit heavy. This was a bad idea, she was tipsy, he was drunk and unless she was very much mistaken he was now rather horny…

It wouldn't be fair to stop it all now. Like he had said, she'd been the one to go up there in her short nighty, it was her fault for getting herself into this situation. She could be so silly sometimes! She should just tell him to stop, she knew he would in a heartbeat, no question of that, it was just, well, she'd feel bad for leading him on. Tempting him, getting him all excited. Just as these thoughts were whirring round Hermione's head, it happened.

He shifted on the bed, positioning himself on top of her. His weight bearing down on her, his hair on her face, the smell of sweat and alcohol filling her nostrils… At that moment it was no longer Sirius on top of her but McNair. She was no longer at the head quarter's of the order of the phoenix, in the bed of her future husband, but on the hard floor of that cell…with them.

She kicked, she pushed, it was all she could do not to wake up the whole house. Sirius jumped up in shock. Hermione looked at him apologetically before leaning over the side of the bed and being violently sick.

'It's Sirius, it's not them, it's Sirius, he loves me, he'd never hurt me. It's Sirius, not them' she repeated in her head until she had gained enough composure to turn around and face him.

He looked confused, hurt even,

"What's wrong?" Did I…?" he trailed off, he had wanted to ask if he had done something wrong but he couldn't find the words. Hermione was looking at him with such heart wrenching mixture of sadness and trust that it rendered him speechless.

"I'm so sorry!" she said, there was a forced brightness to her voice that she felt sure he would notice. "I've eaten far too much today, you were pressing on my stomach and I guess, well…" She gestured to the mess, which Sirius hastily vanished. "I think I should probably go to bed now, after all, we don't want people talking no do we" she grinned.

"Ok, good night love, sweet dreams" As he went to hug her, he felt the smallest, almost imperceptible of movements from Hermione, as if she'd only _just_ managed to stop herself from flinching, like she used to. This worried him, the fact that she refused to give him a good night kiss did nothing to assuage these worries, she claimed it was because she had just thrown up, which he supposed was a reasonable argument... He closed the door quietly behind her, and waited, listening to her fading footsteps and then the gentle click of her bedroom door.

What had just gone on? He wondered as he crossed the room and climbed back into his bed. He would sort it out tomorrow, he hoped he hadn't done anything wrong, if he had, it would be down to alcohol, bloody alcohol. It was that self same poison that now carried him off to sleep, allowing him not to dwell too long on the evenings events. Perhaps if he had stayed awake a little longer he would have pondered and seen what was going on, or at least had full recollection of it the next morning. Instead, he fell into a drunken slumber.

Alcohol, it all came down to bloody alcohol.


End file.
